Changed
by JoyJoy101
Summary: It all started out like any other day … until Leo collapses and suffers a seizure and a stroke. In the passing of a few minutes, their lives will be changed forever. They have faced many challenges in their lives but will this prove to be too much?
1. Chapter 1

Summary: It all started out like any other day … until Leo collapses and suffers a seizure and a stroke. In the passing of a few minutes, their lives will be changed forever. They have faced many challenges in their lives but will this prove to be too much?

Disclaimer: I Own Nothing

* * *

Leonardo's P.O.V.

I hate it when you wake up tired. Some people would say you should be happy that you woke up at all but that doesn't help. I'd had a restless night, the fact I had to detangle my legs from my blanket told me enough. I sat on the edge of my bed and rubbed my temples. What was wrong with me? I was usually an early riser. But that really wasn't the problem. For a while, I'd been … tired. I didn't bring attention to it but I knew my brother noticed. They do not say anything because they know I do not like to be fussed over but I think it worried Splinter. He will not let me practice for my usual amount of time and makes me go to bed early yet, nothing seems to help.

I knew he was just worried. The Foot were on the move, attacking shops, buildings every night with no fear, the Purple Dragons were prying on the late night fools that walk alone down New York's streets, and Baxter Stockman was having fun creating more weird and wacky inventions, trying to put an end to us. Personally, I would put it down to stress. In addition, I'd taken a sever bump to the head a few nights ago in a fight. I was out of it for a good two hours and awoke to a very worried family. Probably more worried about all the blood I was pouring onto the couch but hey, it's nice to feel wanted. No I lie, they were concerned for my health and that brings me back to the reason why I was not fulfilling my part as the early morning riser of the family. But now after a sleep in, I was ready to depart my bedroom and make the awesome trip to the dojo. After I'd picked up my katanas.

* * *

Raphael's P.O.V.

I'd just finished my kata when I sensed movement. I looked over my shoulder and saw my blue-clad brother enter. Well drop from his room to the dojo but let us not get technical.

"It's nice to see someone's up. Must be nice being able to sleep in for as long as one feels like it"

Leo gave me the evils. He didn't like sleeping in any more then I liked not sleeping in but it was fun to rub it in his face. I gave him a grin and started my next kata. Mikey was flicking his nun chunks around, doing some simple movements to get him in rhythm and Leo had joined Don in warming up. It was going to be a good day today, I don't know why but I had this feeling.

Eventually Master Splinter came out of his room and we started practice. Nothing complex, just simple katas, stuff we had not run through for a while a.k.a boring stuff. Then we moved on to perfecting our balance, gracefulness and ninja stuff like that. I knew he was keeping it simple because Leo still wasn't up to form but why couldn't we cut this stuff and move on to the best part …sparring! I looked over at Leo and saw that he had that fatigued look on his face. That head wound had really shaken him and us but it still seemed to have an impact on his health.

And his concentration.

"Leonardo are you keeping up?"

This brought my attention to the fact Leo was several steps behind the rest of us, something he usually wasn't. Master Splinter never misses anything.

"Sorry Master" Leo apologized before moving into the right stance. Splinter had that concerned look on his face. Again.

"If you wish to sit out you …"

Leo shook his head

"No I'm fine"

Splinter watched him for a second and then continued. We finished off with a spinning kick and I knew it couldn't be prolonged for any longer.

"Grab your weapons my sons. We will now move on to sparring practice"

My heart gave a leap of joy. Finally! We bowed to Master Splinter and went to the racks to collect our weapons.

"Leonardo"

Leo, who was next to me, moved off to talk to Splinter. As I removed my beloved sais from their holder, I watched them out of the corner of my eye.

It looked like Master Splinter was trying to talk Leo out of practice again. He was shaking his head and if I knew him like a brother, he was arguing that he was okay. Splinter watched him for a few seconds and then gave a slow nod. Leo moved off to collect his katana but Splinters piercing eyes never left his back. When he reached his katana, I had to ask.

"What was that about?"

He removed his shelved katana from the racks.

"He doesn't want me to spar"

I gave a little snigger and punched him on the shoulder.

"He's just worried I'll beat you"

Leo pushed me back with a laugh.

"Or he was more worried I'd kick your sorry tail"

"Is that I threat?" I went to push him back when ...

"When you are ready, we'd like to beginning"

We turned to see Master Splinter, Don and Mikey waiting for us. Mikey had a huge smile on his face and his tongue was sticking out at us. An awful sight. Don also looked like he was trying hard not to laugh. Trying. We quickly moved to join them on the dojo but when Splinter turned his back, I couldn't help but give Leo a slight shove. This resulted with Splinter's cane encountering my head. I repeat; Master Splinter never misses anything.

**(((Sometime later ...)))**

I was right, practice was going perfect. I was dominating all my bouts but Master Splinter seemed to be keeping me away from Leo and so far, we hadn't had a match. And there is only so many times you can beat Mikey and Don. Leo was also winning most of his bouts but he was still not as fast or as accurate as usual. The perfect chance to beat him.

"Practice is finished"

I spun to face Master Splinter. What! I hadn't got to fight Leo.

"B..But Master Splinter, Leo and I haven't sparred"

He couldn't let me pass up this chance to beat him. It might never come again ...

Master Splinter cast a worried glance in Leo's direction. He seemed to be breathing harder then he should usually be after only a couple of bouts but apart from that, he looked fine. Splinter was going to answer and I knew from his body language he wasn't going to allow it.

"Please Sensei, I want a chance to beat him"

"Fat chance" I shot at Leo but turned hopefully back to Splinter. He was watching Leo who was still in the middle of the dojo. He seemed to weigh up the decision.

"Please"

Master Splinter let out a sigh but after Leo's request, he let it go. He gave a nod and I scrambled off the floor to face my brother.

We squared off against each other.

"You feeling ok?" I asked in mock concern.

"You should be the worried one, I'm the one who will win" He said, a huge smile playing across his face.

"Never!" I replied just as Splinter cried "Begin"

**(((Ten minutes later ...)))**

We'd been hard at trying to take each other down but neither one of us seemed to be winning. True, one of us would get the upper hand but then it would be taken back by the other and vice versa. It was exhausting yet, worth it. But beneath my will to win, I was getting slightly concerned. Leo was panting and sweat was beginning to form on his brow. His moves were also starting to get sloppy and there wasn't the amount of power in his strikes anymore. I was wearing him down. However, out of the two of us, he had the better stamina. I had the strength but he had the speed and stamina. But at this moment, his stamina was fast leaving him. Whenever I glanced at Master Splinter, he seemed to be about to call a halt but that would not be fair and Leo would still insist on fighting. I knew if anybody stopped the fight, it would have to be me because Leo would never do it. But I really wanted to win.

I was contemplating whether my pride would allow it when something seemed to come over Leo. He had raised his arm to attack me with a downward hit, when he just seemed to freeze. I was going to block but paused … what was happening? He dropped both of his katanna, raised his hand to his head, and seemed to hold it. Then he gave a shudder and pitched forwards.

With a cry, I dropped my sai's and caught him before he hit the ground. I heard Don shout "Leo!" and within seconds they were next to me. Mikey chucked his dropped katanna out of the way and the others helped me lower Leo. I looked up at Don and Master Splinter.

"What happened?" I asked, fear plaguing my voice, the same fear evident on their faces, Mikey's most of all.

Don opened his mouth to answer when Leo gave a cry and started to shake in my arms.

"Leo" I cried, scrambling to try to hold him still but it was getting worse. Then I felt hands pulling me away.

"Raph stop! He's having a seizure" Don cried

Leo was convulsing in front of me. It was scary. His eyes were rolling and he was thrashing all over the place. Froth was starting to appear on his lips and a strange gurgling was coming from his throat.

"Donny do something" Mikey whimpered. I moved my eyes to see Mikey looking frightened. I'd hate to see what I looked like.

"I can't "Don whispered "We have to wait till it stops"

"When do you think that will be Donatello"

Don turned to Master Splinter. "I… I don't know. He could stop now … or not for a while"

"Well we must be prepared. You would be more knowledgeable in these areas Donatello"

Donatello was biting his lip, a habit he picks up when he's not sure what to do, and it was costing us time.

"DON! What can we do!" I shouted at him. Leo was still thrashing but he was now bashing his head on the floor. I quickly stuck my hands under his head but he kept going. It was starting to hurt.

Don shook himself out of his trance

"We need … we need blankets! Mikey find some blankets!" Mikey ran off towards our bedrooms.

"And a PILLOW!" Don shouted after him. Don then turned to Master Splinter. I could see he was uneasy at issuing orders to him. That wasn't even Leo's department.

"Master Splinter, in my room there's a breathing mask I've been fixing. It has a box with a pump in it. Can you bring it out and put it in the subway cart" Splinter gave a quick nod and went off to do his part.

"The subway cart?" I enquired.

But Don had made his way over to it and was chucking everything out. Literally, he just picked up his desk and threw it out. Then the filing cabnet followed and all the rest of the junk that inhabited his work area. But he kept a few items, mainly a small cupboard and table.

"What are you DOING?" I cried

"We can't keep him on the couch" Don shouted back

"Why not, that's where we always go!" I shouted

Then as suddenly as the Leo's seizure started, it stopped. He seemed to freeze again and went limp. His head rolled to the side and stopped, facing me. He seemed to breathe out, like he had been holding his breath … but he didn't breathe back in.

"DONNY!" I screamed. He must have realized something was seriously wrong by my voice because he was back at my side in seconds.

"WHAT?" He said but then he realized, Leo wasn't breathing.

He pushed me out of the way. He rolled Leo on his side and wiped all the froth out of his mouth. Then he rolled him back onto his back and started CPR.

"I've got blan… LEO!" I heard Mikey scream. I spun around, saw him drop the blankets and start running to Leo. I quickly jumped up and stopped him from interrupting Don. He was trying to fight me off but I was holding him to tight.

"No... let me go ... LEO" he was sobbing.

"My sons" Master Splinter appeared with a funny looking machine in his hands.

"Master Splinter … put it … in the sub… way cart…on the cupboard" Don said in between breathes.

Then he moved to start pushing on his heart. He looked up at us.

"Mikey, pick up the blankets and take them to the subway cart. Put one on the table and move the cupboard next to it! NOW!"

Mikey stopped fighting and for the second time this day, he did what he was told without question. A miracle. I think we could use a couple more miracles today.

"Raph … come here ...I need ... you to ... push…" He said

I nodded in understanding. When he went back to breathing, I moved so I was ready. Don gave five breathes, gave me a nod and I begun. I started counting as I'd been taught and when I finished, Don would start breathing and when he finished, I would start again.

Leo wasn't responding though and I knew Don was starting to panic. This made me press harder and stuff up the count. No, this wasn't happening. Finally, Leo took a shuddering breath and it had to be the best sound in the world. I sat back on my hutches, wiped my forehead, and found sweat. That was too close.

"Raph we have to move him" Don said. He seemed to be breathing heavily as well.

I nodded and moved to support Leo's upper body, Don moved to his legs. On the count of three, we lifted him and Leo gave another sigh. We froze but after a moment, he started breathing again. So did we.

Gently yet quickly, we moved him up into Don's sub-way cart. Shuffling over to the table, Donny put his legs down first. Carefully I lowered him down onto the bed and made sure he was comfortable. Even more gently, I placed his head on the pillow. Again, it fell to the side. Don pushed past to put his complicated looking "breathing mask" on Leo and I moved to the foot of the bed. Mikey was standing there, crying but it was of the silent type. I wrapped one of my arms around his shoulder and pulled him into a one-armed hug. He turned away and buried his head in my shoulder. This sort of thing always hit him the hardest. I looked up and got a good look at Leo. Don had placed the mask over Leo's face and was putting the band around his head. He then turned to the box on the cupboard and did the Don thing a.k.a flicked a lot of buttons and got things to work, where if it was anybody else, we'd blow us all up. The machine started with a hum and that sound you only hear in movies, of a pump going up and down, pumping oxygen. It was creepy.

Master Splinter then covered Leo with a blanket, pulling it up to his shoulders. I glanced at the pile of blankets and recognized every blanket we ever owned in one pile. I even saw my hammock in there! But this wasn't the time to go off at Mikey. I cast an eye back to Leo. He was lying motionless, a totally different contrast to how he was minutes ago. He looked so weak. Normal he looks like nothing could touch and yet, he now looked like one small push and he would go over the edge. How things change.

"So what do we do now?" I asked

Nobody seemed to know or want to answer. Don then dragged a chair over to the bed, another of the few items that had escaped his cleaning rampage. He plonked himself down in it, placed his hand together and rested his chin on them.

"We wait".

But for how long?


	2. Chapter 2

Summary: It all started out like any other day … until Leo collapses and suffers a seizure and a stroke. In the passing of a few minutes, their lives will be changed forever. They have faced many challenges in their lives but will this prove to be too much?

Disclaimer: I Own Nothing

* * *

_Master Splinter then covered Leo will a blanket, pulling it up to his shoulders. I glanced at the pile and blankets and recognized every blanket we every owned in one pile. I even saw my hammock in there! But this wasn't the time to go off at Mikey. I cast an eye back to Leo. He was lying motionless, a totally different contrast to how he was minutes ago. He looked so weak. Normal he looks like nothing could touch and yet, he now looked like one small push and he would go over the edge. How things change._

_"So what do we do now?" I asked_

_Nobody seemed to know or want to answer. Don then dragged a chair over to the bed, another of the few items that had escaped his cleaning rampage. He plonked himself down in it, placed his hand together and rested his chin on them._

_"We wait"_

_But for how long?_

* * *

Raphael's P.O.V.

It had been a week. One whole week since Leo collapsed and he hasn't moved a muscle. If it wasn't for the fact he was breathing, he could be dead. But we don't want to think about that. We have been taking it in shifts looking after him. Not that we do much looking after, there is not much to do when the patient is comatose. Actually no, he's not comatose as Don was so willing to tell us. I remember that nice conversation more then I want to.

**(((Three days after Leo collapsed)))**

My stint in the sub-way cart was ending. We had now turned it into a kind of room. Curtains had been hung over the windows and Don managed to put in a sliding door. Mikey hung some picture up that he'd drawn and the few photographs we own of the family. He said it made the room cheery … I personally thought it was depressing, it reminded me of what we nearly lost, what we could still lose. But it helped Mikey, so it stayed. Talking about Mikey, the sliding door opened and closed as he entered the room. His eyes were red rimmed from all the crying he was and had been doing, but this didn't stop him taking his four hour stints like the rest of us. Only stopping to eat, sleep and occasional shower before being were back in the room again for another four-hours.

I looked up from my constant vigilance of our sleeping brother. I gave Mikey a nod and moved so he can take my place in the chair beside Leo. After checking he was settled, I leave. This process has gone on since Leo collapsed. We are all exhausted.

Once out of the confines of the room, I head straight for the couch and collapse onto it. Sitting there for hours watching a motionless, barely alive brother isn't hard work, it's the mental labour you do in that time. Will he live? Will he ever be the same? Is the I.V. Don put in him working? What if there is a power blackout and the "heart pump thing" turns off? Should I have called it quits before Leo collapsed? Would it have happened if I had? Is this my fault? And I start to drift off.

I feel someone shaking my shoulder. I wake up with a start and cop a face full of a very sleep-deprived Don.

"Whaaa…"

I must have been more tired than I thought to fall asleep on the couch with the remote control sticking into my side.

"I need to talk to you and Master Splinter" Don said

I quickly sat up.

"Is something wrong?" But then I thought "Beside the obvious"

Don had a sad look on his face but the look in his eyes got me worried. A look that was along the lines of someone who had just been dealt crushing news. And when somebody is sick in the house, that's a dangerous look.

"What's wrong?" My voice had gone croaky. I cast my eyes over to the subway cart and saw a light inside.

"Is he…"

"He's still alive" Don answered "But I need to talk to you and Master Splinter"

"What about Mikey?" I asked as I turned back to him.

Don seemed to pick his answer.

"I think you two had better hear it before he does"

Whatever the news was, it wasn't good.

Later I was alone in the kitchen. Master Splinter was now in the sub-way cart and would still be for another good couple of hours. Don was now telling the news to Mikey and by the sound of things, crying and someone making hushing sounds, he wasn't taking it well. I had a glass of water in front of me, it had been there for hours and even though I was thirsty, I was just staring aimlessly at it, thinking on what Don had said. It had been crushing news. When Don had finally opened up to what he had known, I did something I never did. I cried. Now don't get me wrong, I didn't sit there, bawl my eyes out and make a fool of myself. I cried the silent tears that just seem to run down your face and don't stop. I had finally finished but I couldn't muster the strength to move and wash my face. In a way, I wish Don hadn't told us.

"From what I can guess … Leo didn't have a seizure … it was more on the lines of an Epileptic seizure. They are the same thing but not. It is a kind of seizure"

…

"They can be caused by several things but they can be caused my head injuries"

…

"The head injury Leo sustained might have been the factor that caused the seizure. Being tired, sleeping constantly and then taking part in physical activity could have also lead to it"

…

"Stress can also be a factor and Leo has been under a lot lately"

…

"The fit could leave lasting effects… anything from brain damage to loss of movement in limbs … he might never be the same again"

My brother, Leo, the fearless leader of our group, brain damaged or not able to fully use of his limbs or both. How would he practice nin jitsu? How would he hold his swords? More questions than before were pounding my head and I could feel fresh tears start to form in the corners of my eyes. I felt ashamed but Don had said that the exhaustion, fatigue and the weight of the situation would have all added to my lack in self-control. It didn't help, I still felt ashamed.

I looked up to see Don move into the room and take the seat across from me.

"How is he?" I asked

Don gave a shrug.

"He didn't take it well"

I gave a nod but I had already guessed as much.

"Where is he now?"

Don gave a sigh as he got up to get a drink.

"He cried himself to sleep"

Poor Mikey, sure he's a goofball and a natural clown but when one of us is hurt, he falls to pieces.

"Should I go and talk to him?" I don't know what I would say but it might make both of us feel better in the process.

"Nah leave him … a sleep will do him good"

I accepted this and went back to staring at my glass full of water. Don returned to the table and we sat in silence. After awhile I couldn't take looking at the glass any longer. I'm here, dying of thirst, and I have a glass of water right in front of me. I'd just raised the glass to my lips and started greedily drinking when Don decided to speak.

"Leo can't stay here."

I spat the water back out. Smashing the glass on the table, I started smacking my chest trying to get the water that went into my lungs out.

"What d'ya mean!" I cried.

"He can't stay here" Don repeated calmly.

"So what do we do, chuck him out into the sewers!"

"No, your not listening to me"

"I wonder why!"

"You didn't let me finish!"

"If I didn't like the beginning, why would I like the end!"

"How can you have an opinion without fully hearing me out! You don't even know why I said it!"

"How can you shift somebody that hasn't shifted himself in DAYS!"

"Don't you yell at ME!"

"Well then don't talk cr…"

"My sons"

We quickly spun around to see Master Splinter standing at the door but being an inch away from each other's face, we collided. Rubbing our faces and giving each other the evils, we again fixed our attention on a not-to-happy Master Splinter.

"I don't know if you realize but you have a very sick brother and instead of pulling together so we can get through this as a team, you choose to stand along and fight" He had only spoken in a whisper but the shame that washed over me made me wished he'd shouted at us instead.

I saw Don guiltily cast his eyes to the sub-way cart. We must have been quite loud for Master Splinter to leave. I looked up to our bedrooms and saw Mikeys head sticking out from around the corner of his room. When he saw me looking, he quickly withdrew but I'm sure I saw him clutching his teddy bear. As usual, Master Splinter was right. We were causing more damage to the problem in fighting each other and we didn't need that at the moment. Leo didn't need it.

"I'm ashamed at the both of you. We're going to be in for a hard journey from now on and you had all better smarten up" Again a whisper but the same effect.

I looked at Don who was looking at me.

"Sorry Master Splinter" We said together.

He gave a nod and moved back to the sub-way cart. Giving us one last hard look, he closed the door.

I moved back to the chair and all but threw myself in it. I leant my head back and shut my eyes. This was all too much and we couldn't do this on our own.

"I think we are going to need some back up" I said to Don, who had also moved back into his chair.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him give a nod. The waters were still murky between us and as Master Splinter had said, we didn't need that at the moment.

"So why do we have to shift him?" I asked

"I never said we had to shift him" He snapped back.

I raised my hands in surrender, not wanting another argument on our hands. Don gave a sigh.

"Sorry"

I gave him a nod and lowered my hands. I moved forwards so I was leaning on the table and looked straight at him, waiting for him to start.

"Well"

"We can't keep Leo here" He said

"We've already got that far but why not?" I asked

"Because it's going to start getting cold and you know what it's like in the sewers. Even when we are healthy, we have trouble staying warm and not getting sick. Hell, every year one of us gets sick from the cold. Leo is already sick, he'll be a sitting duck, excuse my choice of words and we can't afford for that to happen"

I had to agree that it made sense. The sewers were no place to be when it was winter and even with Dons heating systems, it was bitterly cold.

"I'm not agreeing to it but where can we move him to? We don't exactly own apartments and it's not like we can stay with April or Casey all winter"

"Then we have to go to the farm" He said

"But it will be just as cold at the farm as it is here" I responded

"Yes it will but that house was made for living in and for living in cold weather. The sewers weren't meant to be lived in, so we don't have insulation or fireplaces, where it does. It will also hold in warmth and that is what Leo needs. Raph, we can't stay here!" It started to sound like Don was begging me. When did I take on the role of leader?

"You can't expect us to move him now" I said

Don furiously shook his head.

"No way, that would do more damage. We have to wait for a while, but we can't leave it for too long. We have to get there before winter sets in"

I thought over what Don had said and it all made sense, as per usual. The sewers weren't meant for sick people … or turtles. Even if Leo awoke from the coma, he probably wouldn't survive the bitter cold and it would all be for nothing. He had more of a chance at the farm.

I gave Don a nod

"It's a good idea and I can ask Casey and April if they want to come but I guess we will be up there for awhile. The only question is who will talk to Splinter."

Don flashed me an award-winning smile and I knew that I had the job.

"It's your plan" I pointed out.

"But your so much better at negotiating" Don said with the smile still on his face. Great, I'd just walked into the worst job. Not much I could do about it though.

"When do you think we should go?" I asked

"We have to have to leave as soon as possible. No later than the end of this month"

So that left us two week to get Leo travel ready, contact April and Casey, talk Master Splinter into the plan, get everything ready and in the mean time, watch over Leo. We have a lot to accomplish in a short amount of time.

I pushed back my chair.

"We better get started then" I said as I went in search of my shell cell. First on my agenda would be to call April and Casey with the plan. Don rushed off to his lab, probably planning supplies, how we'd get there and all that kind of Don stuff. I found it on the coffee table in front of the t.v. and I saw Mikeys reflection in the screens.

"I thought you were asleep"

Mikey looked at me in the screens, using it like a mirror.

"I want to help"

I thought it through for a moment.

"Do you mind watching Leo while I talk to Master Splinter" He gave a nod and he headed off to the sub-way cart. I pocketed my cell and headed after him. Casey and April could wait until we had permission but I knew the idea would go ahead. It was logically … I just hoped it worked.

**((( Back to the present)))**

So here I am now, sitting in the back of the Battle Shell. April, Mikey and Master Splinter left yesterday to get the house ready for occupants. Since we have not used it for a while, it could be in shambles. Mikey didn't want to leave Leo but after a lot of encouragement, he agreed to go. Since they had gone, we'd been busy preparing Leo and the Battle shell. It was going to be carrying a very sick person … turtle and need safety precautions. The back had all our spare weapons removed and a bed placed inside. This had seat straps placed on it and was bolted to the floor. The swivel chairs had also been removed and replaced by the chair from the sub-way cart, which was also bolted to the floor. I was seated in it. Next to the bed on the other side was the same cupboard from the sub-way cart and like everything else, it was bolted to the floor. Where Don got all the bolts, I will never know.

Leo had been removed from Dons "Life Support" the day before yesterday. If he couldn't breathe without it, there was no point in moving him. Watching Don take him off one of the only things that had been keeping Leo alive was … distressing and Mikey had to be removed from the room. It rather felt as if we were officially taking him off life-support, like we had no hope of him recovering. Of course that wasn't the case because Don was ready to quickly get the machine going again, if the need be, but Leo started breathing without it. We celebrated a small victory. Now he was only on the I.V. drip. I don't know where Don keeps getting the bags for it and I was told "Ask no questions, get no lies". He is becoming more like me every day.

Don at the moment is seated up front with Casey. Recently Don tinted the windows so he has no fear of being seen. We are also traveling at night. So far, there has been no mishaps and hopefully that will continue. It is getting cold though. Don was right, in the last few days, the temperature had dropped quite far and Leo looked like he was developing a fever. Again, it looked like we would not get out of the city but Don decided to bring his "Life Support" machine if something was to happen.

Talking about Leo, moving from the sub-way cart was a long and painful process. With Dons words of brain damage in mind, we wanted to keep the amount of movement down to a minimum. And this didn't help with Dons I.V. being stuck in his arm. In the end, I gently picked him up and Don carried the I.V. behind me. He was so light. Don said that his body had probably started eating off itself before Don "somehow" acquired the I.V. drip. Again, I asked no questions. After placing him in the Battle Shell, blankets were piled on to keep out the cold. But with a fever, things could get complicated. I had to frequently check his temperature and if it got too high, wet him down with rags. Then he had to be dried off so he wouldn't get cold from the water and so on and so forth.

At the moment, his temperature had gone down for awhile and we were nearly at the farm. I was exhausted but I was getting used to the feeling. Don had wrapped a bandage around Leo's head for some reason but it was probably to be a shield if something did happen.

"We're here"

I looked out the front window and saw the lights of the farmhouse appear. It looked like a beacon shinning through the dark. Moments later, we stopped and the motor was turned off. I reached under the blankets to undo the seat straps around Leo and found his temperature rising again. But if I wet him down now, we had to walk outside to get to the house and he might catch a chill. Hopefully, the cold weather outside might cool him off.

Casey had gone inside to tell April, Mikey and Master Splinter that we had arrived. Don climbed into the back from the front and started to get the I.V. drip ready to be moved.

"How we going to move him?" I asked

Don looked at Leo for a second.

"How we did it last time seems like the best idea"

I gave a nod and went to lift him up.

"Wait, wait, wait!"

I looked up and gave a weird look.

"One 'wait' would have been enough"

"But I wanted to make sure you heard me" Don said with a smile "Your going to need a blanket over your arms and then we can put Leo on it. It will keep him warm"

Again, I gave him a weird look

"And why didn't we do that last time"

Don pulled a blanket off Leo and draped it over my outstretched arms.

"Because I didn't think of it until we'd picked him up and I didn't want you to put him down again"

"Oh so that's why you had that funny look on your face … I thought you had to pee"

"Hey!" Don said but he had to laugh as well, we didn't seem to be laughing much any more.

Don moved to the opposite side of Leo.

"Ok I'm going to lift him up and I want you to slide your arms under him. Then just pick him up but don't move off because I have the I.V. remember"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah whatever just hurry up" I said.

Don gently lifted Leo and slid him into my arms. Don even more gently then shifted his head so it was resting in the crock of my arm. And Leo moaned.

Both Don and I gave a start. He hadn't made a sound since he collapsed!

"Leo!"

But he gave no answer; he seemed to have drifted back into sleep.

I looked over to Don, who had the biggest smile on his face and I unconsciously realized I had one on to.

"Another small victory" He said

I gently picked Leo up but he made no sound. Slightly disappointed, I watched Don place all the blankets back on top of him. Then I went over to the back door of the Battle Shell and waited for Don to open it from the outside.

"Don't worry bro, we'll take good care of you" I whispered to Leo. That small sound had given us hope and hope was exactly what we needed.

Don opened the doors and I quickly made my way over to the house. Mikey was at the door and opened it as I came to it. The air outside was bitter cold but inside it was pleasant.

I made my way over to the lounge but I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned to see Mikey shaking his head.

"Not there, Don said to put him up on the 2nd floor. The first bedroom on the left. Something about the lounge being too close to the door and people coming in and out would make it cold and it's in the centre of things and something like that"

I gave a nod and followed Mikey up the stairs. He opened the door. Inside there was only simple furnishings of a bed, a couple of chairs, a cupboard and a desk. There was a window on the far side and I'm sure if it was daytime, it would have a nice view of the forests. I went over to the bed and gently laid Leo down on it. Mikey came over and held his head while I put him down and made him comfortable. Still no sound but a little was better than none.

After settling him in, I went to take a chair to watch Leo but Mikey beat me to it. I went to argue but never got the chance.

"You go down and have a rest, we'll be fine" I guess not seeing Leo for a two days made him not want to leave him. I let it go and started to leave. I had reached the door when I remembered.

"When we moved him in the Battle Shell, he moaned."

I turned back to see Mikey's reactions and was met by another huge smile. Happy at how that had worked out, I made my way to the kitchen. Judging by the cheerful sounds coming from the kitchen, Don must have also spread the word. I went to join them in the kitchen and was met by a good sight of everyone sitting down to a meal, something that doesn't happen much anymore. Pizza and coke was always a good combination.

While we were happily eating, I looked up at the ceiling to where the bedroom was. I hoped Leo would get better soon so we could all have times like this, when we are all together and happy. I guess we will still just have to wait and see. 


	3. Chapter 3

Summary: It all started out like any other day … until Leo collapses and suffers a seizure and a stroke. In the passing of a few minutes, their lives will be changed forever. They have faced many challenges in their lives but will this prove to be too much?

Disclaimer: I Own Nothing

* * *

_After settling him in, I went to take a chair to watch Leo but Mikey beat me to it. I went to argue but never got the chance._

_"You go down and have a rest, we'll be fine" I guess not seeing Leo for a two days made him not want to leave him. I let it go and started to leave. I had reached the door when I remembered._

_"When we moved him in the Battle Shell, he moaned."_

_I turned back to see Mikey's reactions and was met by another huge smile. Happy at how that had worked out, I made my way to the kitchen. Judging by the cheerful sounds coming from the kitchen, Don must have also spread the word. I went to join them in the kitchen and was met by a good sight of everyone sitting down to a meal, something that doesn't happen much anymore. Pizza and coke was always a good combination._

_While we were happily eating, I looked up at the ceiling to where the bedroom was. I hoped Leo would get better soon so we could all have times like this, when we are all together and happy. I guess we will still just have to wait and see._

* * *

Michelangelo's P.O.V.

We have now been at the farm for two weeks, which means it has been five weeks since Leo collapsed. We are still keeping up our watch of him but now somebody sleeps in the room with him at night. In this way, we aren't all sleep-deprived. Leo still hasn't woken up but he will occasionally moan in his sleep, something Don takes as a good sign. Leo also seems to have lost weight, something Don hasn't taken as a good sign. He still has the I.V. drip in him but Don is getting worried because he is running out of bags. I hate to know how many ambulances are missing bags because his "little" stash has lasted around about two weeks. We can only hope he wakes up before we run out of fluids for him.

At this very moment, I have just awoken from an uncomfortable nights-sleep in an armchair, but I cannot be bothered opening my eyes. Soon Raph will be coming in to take his turn watching Leo and I will go and make breakfast, seeming I'm the only person here that doesn't manage to set the stove on fire. Well that record is only taken when I'm cooking, trying to warm up my towel doesn't count!

I can hear Leo moving. Actually, he doesn't move his whole body, he just seems to toss his head around, like he's trying to clean the insides or something. Laughing at my own little joke, I settle back down into the chair for a few more moments' peace. I can now hear Raph moving around in the room next to this one and I'm sure after going to the bathroom, he will head straight here.

"Don?"

I give a start and nearly jump out of my chair. My eyes snap open. And there he is. Leo is staring at me with sleepy eyes. They keep fluttering shut but only to be reopened seconds later. I crack into a huge smile. I would have hugged him except it would have been difficult with him lying down. HE'S AWAKE!

But something is nagging in the back of my head. Something isn't right. Who cares! Leo's awake, my brother is back and everything will go back to normal!

"HE'S AWAKE!" I cry.

I jump from my chair and run out of the room. I stand on the balcony of the second floor. Everyone must be in the kitchen waiting for me to start breakfast. I see April stick her head out of the kitchen.

"Mikey stop yelling Leo's sleepin…"

"HE'S AWAKE!" I shout at her.

I hear a lull in conversation from the kitchen. I must have finally got everyone's attention, even though I couldn't see them.

It only took another three seconds for the news to set in. With a cry, April bolted to the stairs and everyone else in the kitchen followed. I raced back to the room and were nearly bowled over by Raph, who appeared from somewhere on the second floor.

"HE'S AWAKE, HE'S AWAKE, HE'S AWAKE" I sang to nobody in particular.

I dash into the room as all the kitchen people a.k.a Don, who flipped over April to get to the room first, April and Casey reach the top of the stairs. There's a bit of jostle to be the first in the room but eventually they burst in. And there he is.

He still has that sleepy look in this eyes. But after sleeping for five weeks, who can blame him! He looks a bit overwhelmed by all the people in the room. It probably doesn't help that we are all talking at once. It probably sounded a bit like this …

""

It probably would have gone on for a lot longer but just then, Master Splinter entered the room. Silence fell. He quickly walked over to Leo's bedside. Leo followed him with his eyes and seemed to try and place him, like he didn't know him. Master Splinter pulled the chair up close to the bed and sat down in it. He then turned to Leo.

"My son"

Leo looked a bit confused and time passed before he said anything.

"Master Splinter?"

Master Splinter broke out into a smile. He took one of Leo's hands in his own and gave it a squeeze. A cheer erupted from us all, I don't know why but it just happened. April even burst into tears. Casey, of course, pulled her into a hug.

At this sudden show of emotion, Leo turned his gaze to Casey and April. That confused look was back and it seemed to deepen.

"Who you?"

The cheering stopped and so did the happy moment. Casey and April pulled apart and turned to Leo. April had a worried look on her face, but it did nothing to match Splinters.

"What do you mean 'Who you' Leo, you know them" Raph said.

All eyes were turned back to a confused Leo. He was staring at them with big eyes.

Master Splinter leant in closer to Leo.

"My son, do you know these people?"

Leo bit his lip and started to shake his head but then he nodded, then he shook it again, then he nodded.

I started to feel uneasy about Leo's behaviour. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. There was supposed to be a big reunion, lots of hugs and we all go down to eat a happy breakfast, all of us united and … normal.

"What d'ya mean you don't know them, that's …" Raph cried. I could see he was starting to lose his temper. Master Splinter held up his hand to still his outburst. Leo had turned to face Raph when he started talking but now Master Splinter cupped his chin and turned him back towards him.

"Leonardo, can you tell me the names of these people please"

Leo slowly turned back to April and Casey.

"Girl in … green shirt … is … is … April!"

I let out a breathe I didn't know I was holding. I think half the room also did the same. Then I took another breathe in sharply. Yes, the girl was April, we didn't know any other girls. But her shirt wasn't green, it far from it. It was blue with "I Love Australia" in white writing. There wasn't a trace of green on it.

I turned back round to Leo, he seemed to have sense that the atmosphere in the room had changed. He started to look … scared . Master Splinter looked worried.

"I don't know … boy next to … Don"

I spun around to face Casey, who must have looked as bewildered as me. I was next to Casey and Don was next to April. Then it occurred to me, that's what Leo had said when he first woke up. He'd called me Don. I spun back around to face Leo.

"I'm not Don, I'm Mikey, Dons over there" As I pointed to Don, I cast an eye back to Leo. He now looked on the verge of tears.

"No he's not! Your Don!" He said as he pointed to me "And your Mikey!" then to Don.

"Stop it Leo, I don't know what kind of game you are playing but it isn't funny!" Raph said. I could see him grinding his teeth from here.

Leo looked from Donny to me and the back to Don. Then he looked at Casey.

"What you do here?"

"What's the matter with you Leo, it's Casey!" Raph cried "Ands what's with all the cut sentences. You sound like a six year old!"

"Raphael that is enough!" Master Splinter cried.

Leo was frantically shaking his head.

'Well what's the hell wrong with him" Raph shouted back "He's not normal"

Even without Raph mentioning names, Leo must have known Raph was talking about him. Leo then did the one thing that I will never forget and it will forever pain me. He started to cry. The tears began running down his face and he was sniffling. Then it got harder and he buried his head in his blankets.

It was all too much for me.

I bolted from the room. I heard someone cry my name but I need to breathe. I burst outside. The front door crashed noisily against the wall. But I didn't stop there. I raced across to the barn. The door was bolted shut but a good kick opened it. And I was in. It wasn't much of a barn. No animals, no stalls, just some old hay and a furnace. Leo reforged his swords one of the last times we were here, using that machine. I completely broke down with thinking on Leo. If I strained my ears, I could still hear him crying. I threw myself on the hay and buried myself into it. And I stayed there for hours.

About ten minutes after, I heard Casey come outside and start calling for me, but I didn't answer. Later after Casey, Don came out but again I stayed hidden.

In the afternoon I came out of my hiding place, I would have stayed there longer but my stomach was protesting its delayed meal. I hadn't eaten since last night's dinner and I felt like skin and bone. I wouldn't be surprised if I vanished because there was nothing of me left. Also I'm sure if anybody came looking for me, they'd find me just by listening to my stomach rumble.

Unwillingly I walked up onto the porch and through the front door. I walked to the kitchen and was met by the rest of the family, only Master Splinter wasn't there. They all looked up when I entered and I only just realized I was dirty. I ignored their questioning looks and walked straight over to the fridge. After rummaging around for a while, I emerged with a coke and a couple of frozen slices of pizza. I put them in the microwave for about 30 seconds, put them on a plate and sat down to eat.

Bad move, I sat straight across from Raph.

"Well?" he asked.

Crude … I should have known better. I pretended everything was cool.

"Well what?"

I hit a fuse.

"DON'T ASK ME 'WELL WHAT' WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL DAY! DID IT OCCUR TO YOU WE MIGHT WANT TO KNOW WHERE YOU WERE! GEE YOU'VE ONLY BEEN GONE OVER 5 HOURS!"

I quickly gobbled down my pizza so I could leave the room, or before Raph over-turned the table. He looked capable of it at the moment.

"ARE YOU GONNA ANSWER ME!"

Master Splinter would be proud. I used every ninja power I possessed to quell the Mikey instinct to run as far as I could and then hide. Instead, I calmly finished my pizza, even went as far as to lick my fingers, took a swill of my coke and put it down on the table. A picture of calm, I had to ask.

"Have you finished?"

Raph slowly pushed back his chair. I could see him clenching and unclenching his fingers. He was also grinding his teeth and I swear steam was coming out of his ears. I was dead. I had gone too far and I was going to die. I quickly looked for the nearest exit but Raph was closer to the door. I gulped. I looked pleadingly around the table but was met by blank faces. I was going to die alone. I'd be safe if Leo was here …

Master Splinter entered the room.

He looked exhausted. He must not have left Leo since he had awoken. Raph gave me a look of "this-isn't-over-yet" and moved so Splinter could take his chair. Master Splinter is always formal and composed but he just seemed to slump into the chair. Raph moved over to the bench to make him some tea.

"Is he okay?" Don asked hesitantly.

Raph set a cup of tea in front of Splinter, who gave a nod of thanks. He drank some of it, gave a sigh and placed it on the table.

"He is sleeping"

Everyone around the table seemed to let out a sigh of relief. I just wanted to run away and hide. But Raph had conveniently placed himself behind me and was leaning on the cupboard. To get out, I would have to push my chair into him and I'm sure he would like nothing more than to strangle me right now. Actually, I didn't feel safe with my exposed neck in front of him.

There was an uncomfortable silence. Nobody knew whether to speak and if they did; what to say.

"So what happened?" Came a gruff voice from behind me. Typical Raphael, always to the point.

All heads turned to Don. He was stirring his cup of Milo and thinking hard. Eventually he opened up.

"I think he had a stroke"

April gave a gasp and Casey had a sad look on his face. He placed his hand on Aprils shoulder. But Raph, Master Splinter and I looked bewildered. A stroke? Whatever it was, it couldn't be good. Story of our life.

"A stroke causes brain damage by blood being blocked to the brain. When this blood doesn't reach the brain tissue, the tissue dies. Strokes can cause permanent brain damage … disabilities … like having difficulty walking, talking, thinking …"

Don went quiet and seemed to be having trouble going on. April was crying but if I remember correctly, she told us that her dad died of a stroke. Master Splinter handed him a tissue.

"When you say permanent, you mean permanent" I jumped. I'd forgotten that Raph was behind me.

Don looked over at him. He had sorrow written all over his face.

"Permanent as in, you can't fix it"

I heard Raph mutter a few course words. Usually Master Splinter would have had him doing flips for hours but his head was bowed and didn't seem to be hearing anything too well.

I just wanted to go back to the barn and hide myself in the hay again.

"I'll have to wait till he recovers some more, perhaps a couple of days … before I can see the full extent of the damage"

I began studying the tabletop. I would do anything not to be here.

"What can we do?" Again I jumped. Raph was still behind me.

"What do you mean 'what can we do'" I said as I turned around to face him. I could not explain it but an anger had over taken me.

"What do you think I mean! He's our brother, we can't just abandon him"

"He may be our brother but he's not Leo. You said it yourself" I imitated Raph's voice "_Well what's the hell wrong with him, He's not normal_"

I never saw the punch coming … but I sure felt it. One moment I was sitting on my chair, the next I was sprawled on the ground, watching Casey trying to hold back an enraged Raph. He was screaming something at me but the ringing in my ears blocked out all noise.

I clambered to my feet and used the table as support. Raph was tiring but I kept a watchful eye on him.

"Michelangelo go to your room"

I turned to face a disappointed Splinter. I went to argue, what about Raph he just punched me, but Master Splinter wasn't going to be trifled with. I cast Raph one last bout of evils and left the room. I quickly ran up the stairs but when I past Leo's room, I stopped. He was sleepy peacefully; he could almost be the "normal Leo". Except his eyes were red and he would let out a little sob occasionally.

I ran past and slammed shut my bedroom door. Then I let out a groan, I was sharing with Don and Raph! Master Splinter would probably split us up after that last encounter. I jumped on my bed, laid on my back, and stared at the ceiling.

I must have fallen asleep because I was awoken later but Raph slamming cupboards shut after pulling out most of their contents. I fearfully looked to the door but to my relief, Don was standing there.

"What are you doing?" I asked

Raph ignored me and continued chucking his stuff all over the bed.

"He's shifting into Leo's room"

I looked over at Don.

"Why?"

"Because he will need a friendly face when he wakes up" Raph growled

I looked back over at Raph. It's not like we have much stuff in our room, mostly blankets and towels but now they were all over the bed.

"What do you need those for?"

Raph again ignored me.

"He has to sleep on the floor" Don answered.

I roughly heard Raph mutter something about his beloved hammock but Master Splinter wouldn't let him bring it. He hated sleeping on a bed, let alone sleeping on the floor.

"Why?"

"Why what Mikey!"

Raph still hadn't cooled down.

"Why are you sleeping in his room?"

Raph spun around on the spot and came right up into my face.

"What the hell is wrong with you! Can't you see that this isn't all going to go away and Leo is going to need all our help if we want him to get slightly better. Grow up for a change Mikey!"

With that, Raph grabbed the blankets and left the room. I guiltily watched him go. Nothing I was doing was going right today. It was all Leo's fault.

"You know Mikey … it wasn't Leo's fault this happened" Don said from the doorway

I hate it when my brothers can read my mind.

"Well if it isn't his fault then whose is it then?" I snapped back.

Don sadly shook his head and left the room. I just sat on the bed, to wrapped up in my own self-pity to care at what I'd said. I could hear Don and Raph quietly talking in the other room, April and Casey were in the kitchen and Master Splinter was probably meditating in the lounge.

I was all alone …

* * *

Raphael's P.O.V.

The nerve of Mikey, what was his problem! It was late in the night and everyone was in bed. I was on the floor, which I hate. What I would kill for my hammock! Mikey hadn't moved from the bedroom and when Don had gone in there to ask if he wanted dinner, he feinted sleeping. I knew he was because his shell was facing the door. I told Don to leave him. Hopefully he would starve!

I turned on to my side and faced Leo. He had woken up for a while, just after it got dark. Unconsciously I hoped that he would be back to normal, that what happened before was just because he'd finally woke up but I was wrong. He was still the same. And only then did I fully understand some of the extent of his injuries.

We had decided that Leo should not be left alone. I volunteered to stay in his room, I felt bad for what I said before. I'm also sure he'd do … would have done the same thing for me. Master Splinter would have stayed except he was falling asleep at the table and he needed a good night's rest. I think the only reason he left Leo in the first place was he was dying of thirst.

Casey seemed a bit "off-put" by what Leo had said. It's not like Casey would be hard to forget! April had gone on Don's laptop to find more information on strokes but had only stopped because she kept falling asleep and full pages of letters would suddenly appear on the screen. Don would have been on the laptop but the shower had no hot water and he had to fix it. Then three light bulbs weren't working. Then Casey dropped the kettle. Then the microwave, still don't know why he had picked that up. Then Don had to wrap Casey's foot because he'd dropped the microwave on it. With all that and the encounter with Mikey, he was passed out on the couch.

Anyway, everyone was in bed since it had been a full on day, when Leo woke up. I'd been reading a motorcycle magazine, one of Casey's and the next thing there was "thump" on the floor. I looked up to see the bed empty and no sign of Leo. Chucking the magazine aside, I ran around to the other side and found a confused looking Leo on the floor. He still seemed to have that sleepy look on his face; I think it might be permanent.

"Hey Leo"

He visibly jumped. I tried to use the nicest tone I could find in myself but he still reacted like I'd yelled. Probably remembered our last encounter. I crouched down in front of him.

"Hey look … I'm sorry for what I said before … I didn't mean it"

I hate apologizing, even when I'm wrong, but I had to do it. It wouldn't have been right, even if Leo didn't fully comprehend or understand what was said, I'd understand it.

He just looked at me. I let out a sigh, even if he didn't understand my apology, I felt better.

"Are you hungry?"

He seemed to contemplate the question and just as I was about to repeat it, he gave a nod. I smiled, he did understand.

"Well you better get back in bed; you can't stay on the floor"

Leo seemed to … laugh at this. Except it was more of a giggle. Then he just sat there, staring off into space. I gave his shoulder a shake.

"Hey Leo, you better get back in bed"

He just looked at me.

"Leo, bed, get!"

He gave me a smile.

This was going to be harder than I thought. With a sigh, I hooked my arms underneath his and pulled him onto the bed. This isn't any easy task, his shell got in the way. I got him settled and went to leave.

"I'll be back in a minute, don't move!"

But he's staring off into space again.

I quickly make my way to the kitchen. After searching around, I found some frozen pizza. I chucked it in the newly fixed microwave and went to find something to drink. There was no coke in the fridge, we needed more supplies, but there was some milk. I poured him a glass, grabbed the reheated pizza and went back upstairs.

I was half-way up the stairs when I heard that "thump" sound again. Bolting up the stairs and into the room, spilling the milk everywhere, I found Leo on the floor again.

"I told you not to move!"

Leo looked up at me and tears glistened in the corners of his eyes.

"Hang on, I didn't mean it … honest"

I searched around for somewhere to put his food and place it on the cupboard.

I moved so I was behind him again, to pull him up onto the bed, when Don came thundering up the stairs.

"I heard a noise and … Leo!"

He ran over to us and started checking Leo.

"He's okay Don, he just tried to get up and fell off the bed"

Don ignored me and continued checking over Leo. Once he finished, he told me something I already knew.

"He's okay"

I bite back a snide comment, I'd been doing that a lot lately … maybe I was learning control, and again went to lift Leo. The whole time Don had been checking him, Leo had been following him with his eyes. He seemed to be trying to place him. Then his eyes light up.

"Mikey!"

I stopped going to lift him and glanced at Don.

Don moved forward and placed his hand on Leo's chest.

"Leo"

He then placed his hand on his own chest.

"Don"

Don repeated the action with Leo watching him the whole time.

Once again, he placed his hand on Leo's chest, said his Leo's name and then placed it back on his own chest. But he didn't say his name. Now I saw what he was doing.

Leo looked at Don for a second, reached forwards and placed his hand on Don's chest and said hesitantly

"Don"

He then pulled back and put his hand on his own chest

"Leo"

Don and I exchanged grins, we were making progress and he had only woken up this morning.

"Come on" I said

I again pulled him up onto the bed. I made sure he was seated and Don pulled the blankets up.

I went over to the cupboard and picked up Leo's dinner. Then I heard Don gasp.

"Raph that had better be a late night snack only for you!"

I turned back to him, what was he talking about?

"No, Leo was hungry and I brought him some dinner"

Don looked aghast.

"You can't feed him that! Gee Raph, he just awoke from a coma and has been on I.V. for the last couple of weeks. We'll be lucky if his stomach can take a little soup and you're giving him pizza and milk!"

Opps! That was a bit close, I had not even thought of that. Good thing we have Don around. Don grabbed the plate and glass from me, like he was scared I would start force-feeding it to Leo, and headed down stairs with a "I'll be back"

I sat down on the corner of the bed. This morning, Don had removed the I.V. drip from Leo, just before we all left Leo and Master Splinter in peace. It was awful to watch.

I've never seen Leo cry, of course that doesn't count when you are a kid because all kids cry but as a teenager, I think nobody has seen him cry. And there he was, crying like a little kid, all because of a few words.

After Mikey ran out, Master Splinter asked April and Casey of if they would leave the room so Leo would be with family. Then Don moved in to remove the I.V. Leo started thrashing and nothing Master Splinter said or did would stop him. So I had to hold him down.

Luckily, Leo had his eyes screwed shut or I don't think he would have received me with such a warm reception this afternoon. Anyway, after Don finished, we left the room but Leo's cries stayed with me, long after he stopped.

I shook myself out of the memory as Don came back up the stairs. He had some liquidy stuff in a bowl.

'Soup?" I asked

"Broth"

Don moved over to Leo.

"Don"

He smiles at Leo calling him the right name. He sat beside Leo and places the bowl in his hands. Leo just stares at it. Don then cups his hands around the bowl and moves it so it's in front of Leo's mouth. Leo then leans forward, Don tips the bowl a bit and Leo drinks it. He does spill broth all down his front but drinks all of it. Another victory. Don must have foreseen this because he has brought a cloth and wipes the broth of Leo. Leo now looks sleepy, more than usual, so we settle him down and he's asleep in seconds.

That was several hours ago now and Leo is still sleeping peacefully. Don is now asleep in the next room, sharing with Mikey. Hopefully I'll be going to sleep so, I'm exhausted, we've had a long day.

I can see snow falling outside but it's nice and warm inside. It's ironic that the last time we were here, and it was snowing, was when Leo was ambushed by the Foot. He survived that time and he will survive this time. It's also ironic that in the passing of a few minutes, your life can be changed forever. It happened last time, we learnt to respect Leo more, and I'm sure it will happen this time. 


	4. Chapter 4

Summary: It all started out like any other day … until Leo collapses and suffers a seizure and a stroke. In the passing of a few minutes, their lives will be changed forever. They have faced many challenges in their lives but will this prove to be too much?

Disclaimer: I Own Nothing

* * *

_That was several hours ago now and Leo is still sleeping peacefully. Don is now asleep in the next room, sharing with Mikey. Hopefully I'll be going to sleep soon, I'm exhausted, we've had a long day._

_I can see snow falling outside but it's nice and warm inside. It's ironic that the last time we were here, and it was snowing, was when Leo was ambushed by the foot. He survived that time and he will survive this time. It's also ironic that in the passing of a few minutes, your life can be changed forever. It happened last time, we learnt to respect Leo more, and I'm sure it will happen this time._

* * *

Raphael's P.O.V.

It has been five days since Leo awoke and hopefully today, we will celebrate another victory. Getting him to walk!

Since Leo woke up, Don, Master Splinter and I have been getting him to stretch his muscles, in an attempt to regain some of his strength. It was a trying task. And with Mikey still being a jerk, tempers have been flying. But hopefully today, it will all pay off.

We were assembled in Leo's room. Mikey was "busy" and couldn't be found. I would have tracked him down, pummelled him and made him help but I was needed. I'll just have to pummel him later.

We had Leo sitting on the bed with his legs dangling over the edge, with Don and I sitting either side. Master Splinter was in front of us, in case he fell.

"Okay let's try again" Don said

We had linked arms under Leo's. We slowly rose and took Leo's weight with us. We pulled him into a standing position.

"Ow ow ow ow"

We quickly sat down again. That was what had happened the last two times. We managed to get him standing but with all the blood rushing back to his feet, it would hurt and he'd just give up.

"Hurt" he said as he looked at us.

I looked over at Master Splinter. The last few days had been even harder on him than anybody else and he wasn't young anymore. The strain and stress was starting to show. Splinter leant forward with a sigh and put a hand on Leo's shoulder.

"Once more"

I could hear a sound begin to start in Leo's throat … a cross between a whimper and a whine and it was a habit he seems to have picked up lately, when he didn't get his way.

Again, we rose but when Leo started to complain and we started to sit down, Master Splinter told us to "Stop!"

We froze. Leo was trying to sit down but we were holding him up.

"No, no, no, no, no" he was saying.

Leo started thrashing, trying to break our grip but after being bed-ridden for over a month, he was as weak as a baby.

"Put down, put down"

I glanced at Don, he had a sick looked on his face. It was hurting Leo and we were causing it. I turned to Splinter.

"Master Splinter …"

Splinter shook his head and I knew to keep my mouth shut.

Leo kept thrashing for a few more moments but he eventually stopped. We gave him a bit of slack and he sank slightly to his knees. Master Splinter knelt forward, cupped Leo's chin in his hand and lifted his head so they were locking eyes.

"Now that wasn't so hard was it?"

Leo was panting from his continually struggle. His chest was heaving. We gave him a few minutes to calm down and then we tried the next stage. Getting him to walk.

We took a step forward and after a moment, Leo followed. We took another and he followed. Admittedly, they were only baby steps but he was walking! We slowly made our way out into the hall, with Master Splinter following.

Then we met our next problem … the staircase.

We stepped down the first step but Leo wouldn't budge. He just looked at us like "You-want-me-to-do-what"

"Come on Leo, put one foot down here" Don said

He slowly lifted up his right foot and placed it down on the first step.

A cry ran through him as his knee buckled and both Don and I nearly dropped him. We quickly pulled him back up.

"I think that was too much, too soon" I said

Don gave me a nod. And this had been going so well! April and Casey were waiting in the kitchen, hoping Leo would be joining us and we were stuck at the staircase.

"How about we carry him down?" I suggested.

"No, he must learn to do simple tasks again" Splinter answered

Don had explained that with some stroke victims, they must relearn to do simple tasks and the sooner you start teaching them, the better. But this didn't mean we had to hurt him in the process.

"What about if we carry him down the stairs but get him to walk back up when he goes to bed"

Master Splinter contemplated the issue and eventually gave us the nod of approval.

Don and I linked arms under Leo and with Splinter behind us; we formed a chair and carried Leo down the stairs. Leo seemed to enjoy the ride because when we reached the bottom and put him back on his feet, he made that whining sound again.

We "walked" him over to the lounge and got him to sit down. The fireplace was a light, a merry fire crackling away and with snow falling outside, the room felt very cosy. Don got Leo to lie down but kept him propped up with pillows, while I went to get Casey and April. Casey was still a bit worried about Leo's reaction but Don had used the same technique he used to "tell" Leo his name. Casey thought we were mad but it seemed to work and Leo didn't freak out at Casey anymore.

When I gave the "okay" April brought Leo's lunch. He was still on a strictly broth diet but Don hoped he would be back on solids in a few days. I hoped so too because I was sick of soup!

We walked back into the lounge room. I took the bowl and spoon from April and in turn gave it too Master Splinter. Leo hadn't mastered the art of self-feeding yet but thankfully, we didn't have to still tip the broth into his mouth. It had gone everywhere on several occasions when he decided to shut his mouth.

Master Splinter set himself down beside Leo and started spooning small mouthfuls into Leo's mouth. It was working well but halfway through the meal, Splinter stopped feeding him. He picked up Leo's hands, wrapped them around the spoon and put the spoon in the broth. Then using his hands, he guided it up to Leo's mouth and placed the spoon in it. Leo drank the soup. Master Splinter then continued this process until most of the broth was gone.

So not only had Leo semi-mastered the art of walking, he'd also semi-mastered the art of self-feeding.

But it wasn't to last.

Most of the broth was gone when Leo decided he'd had enough. When Master Splinter lowered Leo's hands, Leo dropped the spoon into the bowl. Don dived forward to catch the spoon before it splashed into the bowl but accidentally knocked the bowl out of Splinters hands. The broth fell all over Leo. There wasn't much left but he was covered in it.

"I think he needs a bath" I said

* * *

Donatello's P.O.V.

Now Leo having a stroke has caused many problems. He has to relearn how to eat, drink, walk, talk in normal sentences but hallelujah, thank goodness he can still go to the bathroom on his own because if we had the same amount of trouble getting him to the loo as we did getting him to bathe, the bonds of brotherhood might be broken.

"I think he needs a bath" Raph said

I guiltily looked at Master Splinter. If I'd just let the spoon drop, then there would be a little amount of broth on Leo, nothing a cloth couldn't fix but NO, I had to jump in, knock the bowl from Splinters hands and have it pour all over Leo.

"I think I agree" Master Splinter said. But he had the makings of a smile on his face. He patted me on the shoulder and moved over, so we could get to Leo.

Raph and I repeated the process of getting Leo to walk but then we reached our first problem. The dreaded staircase.

"Come on Leo, put your foot on the stair" I gently said.

Blank stare.

"Come on Leo, put your foot on the stair" I repeated.

Blank stare.

"Leo, put your foot on the stair!" Raph said.

Blank stare.

"Do you think he can hear us?" Raph said.

I looked at Leo; he seemed okay, nothing out of the ordinary.

"I think he's just tired… I guess we'll have to carry him" I replied.

Raph and I formed the "chair" again and carried Leo up. The second we did this, Leo's face brightened and when we reached the top and put him back on his feet, he made that whining sound. The walk up the stairs had been harder than going down and my back was killing me!

We "walked" Leo over to the bathroom, entered and closed the door. Next problem, getting him in the tub. It was one of those old cast iron tubs that stand on four legs, unfortunately missing one which was replaced by a wooden block, and it was quite far off the ground. The plumbing and tapes weren't attached to it but where coming out of the walls. How do we get him in there?

Five minutes later, after a lot of manoeuvring, lifting, pushing and back strain, we managed to lift Leo up and get him into the tub. Now to fill it.

I turned on the hot and cold water.

"It's cold" Leo said.

"Hang on" I replied.

I turned the hot tape on more. And several seconds later.

"O w, ow, ow, ow, hot, hot, hot!"

I quickly turned off the hot tape. Seconds later.

"To cold, to cold"

This went on until we finally filled the tub to Leo's liking. Leo seemed to enjoy this because he was splashing water everywhere. Raph moved forwards and gave him a bar of soap. Leo just stared at it. I looked at Raph.

"I'm not washing him!" Raph said.

So I moved forward to "teach" Leo to wash when I heard water draining. Leo must have pulled the plug! I dove forward and found a heavily depleted bathtub. I stuck the plug back in and began to refill the tub. Many "To cold, to cold" and "Hot, hot, hot"'s followed.

Again, the tub was eventually full.

I used my "name" method, as it had become to be known, to get Leo to bathe. I had another bar of soap and I would "pretend" to rub it on me and then "wash" it off. Leo copied my actions and soon, he was clean.

But Leo didn't seem to want to remain on his back. He now started to toss and turn. I was starting to get worried when he entirely flipped over. And his face was underwater; he was drowning in a bathtub!

"Leo" Raph and I cried.

We race over and try to turn him back over but his shell keeps getting in the way. I can see bubbles coming out of his mouth; he probably doesn't realize he should be holding his breath.

In the end, Raph tucks his hands under Leo and flips him over. And Leo comes up laughing! While my heart rate and blood pressure recover, I give him a stern look, well try to but he just laughed harder at me.

"He's a danger to himself" Raph commented.

I silently agreed, but this wasn't a good thing.

"You're gonna have to watch him while I get some towels"

The floor also needed as much drying as Leo did.

Most of the towels where now being used as Raphs bedding, seeming sheets would do nothing to keep him warm, and they were kept downstairs. I headed downstairs and passed Casey on the couch. In case someone was using the couch under the window, we had placed one next to the staircase.

Casey raised his eyebrow.

"Having fun?"

Muttering under my breath, I grabbed some towels, threw one at Casey and started back up the stairs.

"Donny he did it again but he's trapped!"

I bolted up the stairs and from there, everything happened in slow motion.

I entered the bathroom but made the fatal mistake of not shutting the door. I tried to skid to a halt but I slipped on the wet, soapy tiles. I fell on my shell and slide across the floor ...

And crashed into the leg of the bath that was wooden, knocking it out. The bath started to tip. With a cry, I threw myself out of the way, as it hit the floor with a deafening "clang". Water poured forth like a tidal wave, sucking Leo out with it. The water, and Leo, hit me. But it didn't stop there. It ran out of the bathroom and by the sounds of it, ran over the stairs and onto Casey. I distantly heard him cry "WHAT THE HELL!". Leo and I slide to a halt in inch deep bath water, Raph sloshing across to us.

"Are you's okay?"

Water was running out of the room at an alarming rate. I could hear Casey shouting at April for help and something about we were flooding.

I looked over at Leo, he wasn't moving. Breath caught in my throat, I slide across to him and rolled him over onto his shell. He didn't look … hurt. I started to check him when his face burst into a grin and he started laughing. Laughing I tell you, and not just any old laugh but a laugh of "ha-ha look what I did"

I could have killed him. Instead, I turned to Raph.

"Yeah, we're ok"

* * *

Master Splinter's P.O.V

It has been many weeks since my eldest son Leonardo suffered a … seizure. Only a few days ago, one of my other sons Donatello realized he had also suffered a … stroke. These words were once foreign to us … but not now. It seems as if every waking moment is filled with questions about them. How much damage have they done? Is the damage "fixable"?

Out of all of my sons Leonardo would, to a ninjitsu master, be … perfect. Duty before self, honour before death. And yet to a father, he was far from it. Always worried for others, never for himself. Practicing ninjitsu until collapsing so if the need arose, he could protect his family when they could not protect themselves. Because of this, he is continually hurt or weighed down by the feelings of guilt for another's pain because he could not stop things from happening.

For one so young, he had grown so old, matured so quickly … and yet, look at him now. One knock to the head, one simple mistake of not ducking in time, dodging a swipe and he's changed forever. The caring unselfish being that would die for family that idolize him has become as dependant on them as when he was young.

I have no favourite son; I have no special son … the golden child. All my sons are special in their own way.

Donatello is as gifted with machines as in looking after his brothers. Whatever he does, is with his whole heart, mind and soul.

Raphael's temper and rashness could be the end of him one day but his loyalty and undying love for his brothers will see him through the toughest times, the darkest of hours.

Michelangelo could never be replaced. His ability to keep moods light in the direst of circumstances is a worthy trait, even if his brothers sometimes do not think so.

Leonardo … was a leader, a natural born leader. Dependable, loyal, self-less, he would protect anybody and anything.

But this was all about to change with his fate being decided tonight.

Many hours after the "bathing" incident, everything is relatively dry, the crisis of "Leo has used all the hot water" has been resolved with everyone having showers in the morning and Leo is tucked safely up in bed, utterly exhausted. Michelangelo has returned from being "busy" and has been dragged to the kitchen by Raphael, where we are all gathered to hear Donatello's "analysis".

The tension could be cut with a knife.

Donatello has seemed to be recording Leonardo's progress in a journal or logbook and is going over his "notes". I can see Raphael is getting impatient, I must say, Donatello has been reading it for the last five minutes and we all want to know the verdict.

"Well?" he snaps.

I give him a stern look but I knew it was coming.

Donatello puts down the book.

"From what I've seen … in the short time he's been awake … I could be wrong for he hasn't been up for long, and that could make some difference to something because it takes time but …"

"Cut to the chase Don!"

"Ok, ok. From what I have seen …" Raph starts to open his mouth again.

"OK! The stroke caused some brain damage as we know"

"Duh" I heard Michelangelo mutter. I shoot him a look but he doesn't seem to be paying attention. I will have to have a talk to him.

"Anyway, I think it has affected some parts of his memory, rational thinking, speech and movement. Not remembering Casey … and mixing up Mickey and my name is part of memory. Rational thinking is like turning over in the bath. Speech is how he talks in "cut sentences" as Raph has put it. I also noticed today that he is weaker on his left side and was limping"

Not happy looks are at this table. Downcast and hopeless emotions surround us.

"Can we fix any of it?" Raphael said in a husky voice.

Donatello seemed to think for a moment.

"Rational thinking wise, I don't think so, we'll just have to watch him, so he doesn't hurt himself. He seems to have the brain capacity of a seven year old. The others we might not be able to fix but we can make improvements. Getting him to speak and try to teach him to talk in full sentences should work. He remembers Mikey and me and he's gotten used to Casey, so we can help his memory. He will always have the limp but getting him to strengthen his muscles and getting them working might not make it so bad. It will just take time … and patience"

Donatello casts his eyes at Michelangelo who seems to have blanked out the whole conversation.

"And that's all I can think of"

I continued to watch Michelangelo. He was doing what his other brothers had labelled a "Raphael" meaning he had put up a tough exterior and yet you could see the pain in his eyes. I would definitely have to talk with him.

But my attention was diverted by a loud yawn coming from none other than Raphael. Looking around, everyone had bleary eyes and large bags under their eyes.

"I think it was time we were all in bed" I said

Without much complaint, everyone started to move out.

"Michelangelo please stay here"

One of the first to head to the door, he reluctantly turned back. I didn't miss the evil glance Raphael shot him as he left but I ignored it. Michelangelo came to stand in front of me.

"You know if you have any problems you can come to talk to me?"

Again he seems to be blocking out all that we say.

I placed my hand on his shoulder, hoping I could get through to him.

"This isn't going to be easy on anybody but I will always be here if you need to talk"

Now he's staring at the floor.

I gently raised his chin so he was looking at me.

"So will your brothers, you know that don't you. They will always be there"

If I wasn't mistaken I felt his chin start to wobble. He gave a quick nod.

Signing I lowered my arm. I hadn't missed the pain in his eyes when I had mentioned his brothers. They were all close and when one was hurt, it affected them all. Possibly, if some routine made its way back into their lives, things might get better.

"Before going to bed, please inform your brothers that practice will be at 6.30 tomorrow morning. Leonardo is excused though"

His startled look was enough to conform that he'd forgotten about his duty to learning the arts of ninjitsu. They would all have to start remembering it. He and his brothers had been out of practice for far too long and our fragile existence laid on the fact that they were on constant guard and at the "top of the game". Just because Leo was … sick did not mean the Shredder would give us pardon and when he found out, he would attack harder than ever before because we were weakened. No, it was not too soon to reintroduce training.

"Can I go now Master?"

I nodded and let him leave. We would have to try and keep the fact we were training from Leonardo for as long as possible because with or without a stroke, I am quite sure he would want to join in and him getting injured again was not in the question.

I made a cup of tea before going up to bed. I passed the couch where Casey was sprawled. Luckily, it was not a particularly cold day or the "bath incident" would have caused more problems for things drying then it did. Climbing the stairs, I passed Raphael and Leonardo's room. Leonardo was curled up sleeping soundly, wrapped up in blankets. Raphael was sleeping on the floor and was not thrashing in his sleep, which was a rare occurrence. Usually he was a violent sleeper and was known for hitting his brothers when they were trying to wake him.

Passing on, I walked past Donatello and Michelangelo. Both not wanting to sleep on the floor, they were sharing a single bed, with a row of pillows down the middle. However, this would not stop Michelangelo who would move around a lot in his sleep. In the morning, Donatello would probably find Michelangelo lying on him or using him as a pillow or both.

Passing Aprils room I moved onto my own which was little more than a walk in wardrobe, but a large one. I blew out my candle and settled down to drink my tea before going to sleep, listening to the wind outside pick up speed. Tomorrow, life would take the continual small steps of going back to normality.

We would just have to see how "normal" it could be.


	5. Chapter 5

Summary: It all started out like any other day … until Leo collapses and suffers a seizure and a stroke. In the passing of a few minutes, their lives will be changed forever. They have faced many challenges in their lives but will this prove to be too much?

Disclaimer: I Own Nothing

* * *

_I made a cup of tea before going up to bed. I passed the couch where Casey was sprawled. Luckily, it was not a particularly cold day or the "bath incident" would have caused more problems for things drying then it did. Climbing the stairs, I passed Raphael and Leonardo's room. Leonardo was curled up sleeping soundly, wrapped up in blankets. Raphael was sleeping on the floor and was not thrashing in his sleep, which was a rare occurrence. Usually he was a violent sleeper and was known for hitting his brothers when they were trying to wake him._

_Passing on, I walked past Donatello and Michelangelo. Both not wanting to sleep on the floor, they were sharing a single bed, with a row of pillows down the middle. However, this would not stop Michelangelo who would move around a lot in his sleep. In the morning, Donatello would probably find Michelangelo lying on him or using him as a pillow or both._

_Passing Aprils room I moved onto my own which was little more than a walk in wardrobe, but a large one. I blew out my candle and settled down to drink my tea before going to sleep, listening to the wind outside pick up speed. Tomorrow, life would take the continual small steps of going back to normality._

_We would just have to see how "normal" it could be._

**

* * *

Don's Logbook**

**Date: Exactly two months since Leo's collapse, three weeks since Leo woke up.**

Let's just say the last couple of days have been a bit hectic so I will combine all those days into one entry.

**Day 1:**

Well the cat is out of the bag. It took two days for Leo to find out about practice! Two days! The first day after restarting practice, everything went to plan and Raph got back just in time for Leo to wake up and take him down to breakfast. The second day, Raph arrived just as he was waking up. He later said he made some excuse as too why he hadn't been there when Leo woke up. It might have worked except Raph in his hast had forgotten to remove his weapons and Leo knew they were being kept downstairs. This was a precaution in case Leo got a hold on them and hurt himself. So something in Leo's mind must have clicked because the next day when Raph woke up to silently go down to practice, Leo was waiting for him.

Leo was determined to go, though he couldn't do much since his legs were still a bit weak. But this didn't stop his whining. I had been getting ready and when it started, I raced in to see what was happening. Cutting a long story short, Leo would not stop whining, eventually I had to send Raph out because he was getting to the end of his tether and was going to break something or someone; it got so loud it awoke Casey who sleeps like a log, Master Splinter came in and couldn't reason with him, I had to leave the room because I was fast getting a headache and in the end, practice was cancelled.

But it didn't stop there because Leo was in a foul mood for the rest of the day. Everything was "NO!" Do you want something to eat? No! Are you hungry? No! Do you want to get out of bed? No! So you want to stay in bed? No! Should I stay? No! Do you want me to go? No!

By the end of the day, everyone was in a foul mood.

**Day 2:**

Started much like the day before except Leo woke Raph up so they could go to "practice". Raph with his lovely morning awareness and good mood must have said something along the line of "You are not going" because I was awoken seconds later by a loudly whining, very unhappy Leo. Again Raph had to leave the room because he can't take Leo's … behaviour that early in the morning.

Again cutting a long story short, nothing and nobody was going to reason with Leo and since we had missed yesterday's lesson, Master Splinter shut the door and left Leo alone in his room. Bad move. He stopped whining for about five seconds, possibly in shock, but then started wailing. And this was louder than the whining could possibly go.

Master Splinter told us calmly to leave him and he must realize he cannot always get his way. So we went outside and started to train on the frozen ground. Leo was still wailing. Ten minutes later and he was still going. We had moved from warm ups to katas and then on to perfecting our kicks and he was still going. After twenty minutes of continual wailing it was getting impossible to concentrate and even Master Splinter had his eyes pinned back.

And then it stopped. One moment there was this awful noise and then the next, it stopped. I think we were all slightly startled at the change. And it didn't start again. I think Master Splinter might have got slightly worried because he asked April if she would just go and check on him. She walked into the house and seconds later, there was a shriek that sounded a lot like "LEO!"

We all dashed inside to find our brother attempting to walk down the stairs! He managed to get down the first two stairs and had his foot in mid air for the next. He was bracing himself with his arms by holding on to the railing. But with April screaming and then us bursting into the room, he lost concentration and slipped. Raph, being closest and still having speed from his sprint to the house, jumped up the stairs and caught Leo as he fell. They tumbled down the stairs and crashed into the rest of us at the bottom. We all walked away with bruises. April and Casey probably came off worse because they were quashed by turtles and Master Splinter was smart enough to jump out of the way.

Anyway Leo was scolded, carried back to his room but he'd managed to cancel practice again.

**Day 3:**

Practise is out of the question. Everyone received a well-earned sleep in. I had made some "flashcards" which I hoped would help Leo with his memory. There was a picture on the front of something, a chair, a spoon, a table and its name on the back. Giving Leo a trial run, I found he got most, if not all of the picture wrong and had come up with the most bizarre names for the picture. Fearing the worst, I tracked down Raph who was taking a bath and tried them on him. For the sake of this logbook and my dignity, I will not go into detail of what Raph said but I found out the problem did not lay with Leo but with myself. As Raphael laughingly put it "Don, you can't draw for #$!&"

So tracking down Mickey, I made him draw new pictures for my flashcards. I would have again tried them on Leo but he had gone for a walk with Raph outside. Raph daily took him for walks hoping it would strengthen his muscles but that day he must have taken him further than normal because it turned out that Leo just sat down beside a tree and said he was "tired" And he wouldn't move for all the tea in China. Raph, getting worried that we would start panicking, wondering where they were, decided to leave Leo and run back to the house. It would have only taken him two minutes to run back, a minute to say where they were and two minutes back but Leo wouldn't let him leave.

Raph said Leo was getting frantic, thinking Raph would leave him alone. He was shaking his head and cracking it on the back of the tree he was against. Thinking Leo might do more damage, Raph went over to stop him. Getting closer, Leo grabbed hold of him and wouldn't let go. Not knowing what to do, Raph tried to pull away but Leo held on even tighter.

Since they weren't far from home and Leo wouldn't let go, Raph decided he would carry him back. After picking Leo up, he was asleep in seconds. Funny enough, I was getting worried about them and was waiting on the porch. Seeing Raph coming towards the house carrying Leo in his arms, made me feel sick but upon rushing up to them, I was told to be quiet because "Leo was sleeping". Raph might have a rough exterior but he's a big softy on the inside. Especially to his brothers.

**Day 4:**

Another victory! Another victory! We've had another victory! I am so happy, as you can probably tell. This is the only entry actually made on the day and I'm so happy! Anyway back to business. Today started out like no other. Leo slept in late, probably because of his "walk" yesterday. I would have retried my new flashcards but the walk seemed to have sapped all his energy. I also think living on a diet of only broth/soup is not healthy. So for dinner we made his first solid meal since the stroke and guess what? He ate it. All of it and it hasn't seemed to cause him any problems.

The only thing that could dampen our spirits is he called a fork, a spoon and was using the wrong hand to eat his dinner but nothing that can't be fixed! It was a simple meal of peas, potato, carrots and some broccoli , "rabbit food" as Raph put it, but he ate it and eventually he will be back to normal food. Nothing much more to report. April and Casey have been great help with just being there. We have tried to take as much load off Master Splinter as possible, we don't want him getting sick as well.

Raph has become the protective brother, helping Leo out whenever and where ever he can. It's kind of ironic because Raph and Leo were brothers and they got on like friends etc but it would be a miracle if they went through a week without a couple of fights. Nothing serious but an argument over something. Sometimes it got as petty as whether or not there was a draft in the living room. We live in the sewers, there's drafts everywhere. And yet look at him now. I think the stroke/seizure shook Raph up as to how dependant we are … were on Leo.

I can never write about myself. I'm coping. Nothing new to report. Then there's Mikey. He can't even look at Leo without an evil look coming over his face. Like Leo is a bad smell that just won't go away. But we can get through … I think Raph will make sure of it.

**Two month, 7 days since Leo's collapse.**

New flashcards are going well. I had to enlarge the deck because Leo was getting the objects to easily. Raph is also helping when going on his and Leo's walks by getting him to name objects. Trees, clouds, hills, snow anything. But their walks are not as daily as before because it is getting colder. It's cold already but it's getting colder. It sucks being cold blooded.

**Written at 1 month, 1 week and 1 day since Leo's collapse but referring to the previous entry.**

I official am not HAPPY with my BROTHER! And I don't mean Mikey or Raph! I mean LEO!

I just had to use some of Splinters relaxing breathing techniques. Now I feel a little better. Anyway on to this entry which I write now, while grinding my teeth. I must say this new Leo is smarter then we think and I don't say it in a mean way. If he wasn't so childish, I think I would have blown up at him. Me, Donny the humble, silent, non-vocal mechanic/electrician/medic/refrigerator repairer/and the tv/ and everything else Raph breaks. I will try and start again.

We were all in bed asleep when Raph woke up and found Leo missing from his bed. Panicking, Raph runs out of the room and checks the bathroom and knowing he still can't get down the stairs without us CARRYING him, he wakes everyone up telling them he can't find Leo. Of course now where all in a panic because there are only a limited number of places you can hide on the 2nd floor of a house and he was in none of them.

Then we noticed that Raph and Leo's bedroom window was open. Fearing the worst, we race downstairs and are nearly out the door when we notice the kitchen light is on. WE all race into the kitchen to find LEONARDO asleep at the kitchen table. Not only that, there is a almost empty tub of ice cream that was full before he attacked it. Did he clean up after himself, NO there is ice cream all over his face and the kitchen table! And he has a very satisfied look on his face.

Yes I was worried that he wasn't okay and eating almost a full tube of icecream straight off a broth/soup diet wasn't good but after we found him,Raph managed to make us see the funny side. But I noticed that Leo had a fork in his hand and not a spoon.

Anyway back to why I am not happy with him. BECAUSE HE HAD BEEN MAKING US CARRY HIM UP AND DOWN THE STAIRCASE FOR THE LAST-WHO-KNOWS-HOW-LONG WHEN HE COULD DO IT HIMSELF! I think I have a permanent back injury! I think he enjoyed the ride because every time we carried him, he made a happy sound and when we put him but on the ground, he wasn't happy.

But what can you do. We cleaned up the mess, cleaned up Leo who didn't wake up during the whole fiasco. Got Leo safely back in bed and all settled down to go back to bed. Nothing unusual there.

**2 months, 2 weeks since Leo's collapse.**

Leo is finally allowed down to "practice" but he is strictly not allowed to join in sparring. Doesn't stop him from trying though! He is not allowed in weapons practice either but our excuse is we didn't bring his katanas. There are also no fancy katas either, nothing stressing to the body, just normal practice. If he gets tired we coincidently have weapons practice and he is excused. It works well. He gets about half an hour to an hour of exercise each day and he's not hurting himself during any of it.

But Mikey is still ignoring him, Raph is being protective and I'm trying to keep the peace. Never a dull moment.

**2 months, 2 weeks and 5 days since Leo's collapse.**

It only took three days for everything to blow up in our faces … well that might be a bit dramatic but it still isn't good.

Mikey has been getting worse to Leo, treating him like a … retard, that is if he even acknowledges his presence. Master Splinter tried again to talk to him but it must not have gone well because Mikey ended up getting flips and being in charge of Leo's flashcard session.

This only resulted in a crying Leo because he didn't know why Mikey was being awful and if he was the one doing something wrong to cause it. Mikey was then received a lecture, yes a lecture, from Raph for what he did. He would have done Leo proud. Except Raph ruined it in the end by again punching Mikey in the jaw because Mikey brought up the "It's Leo's fault so he should put up with it" stuff.

Mikey was sent to his room without dinner, which I'm sure he blames on Leo, and Raph in turn got the lovely job of getting Leo to bath. This was the third time since he woke up and everything still manages to get wet. Luckily there is no flooding because we have learnt to shut doors.

**2 months, 3 weeks since Leo's collapse**

Mikey has done it again, I don't know what the shell has gotten into him. I don't think anybody knows the full details but it went something like this.

Normal morning ... sort of. Casey had helped us clear away some snow so we could have some room to train. We wouldn't train for too long because it was so cold but we still gave it a try. I think Master Splinter wasn't going to let Leo train but it would take twice as long to argue with him as to why he shouldn't train then to just let him train for a little time and then quickly send him inside because we had "weapons practice".

Anyway, we were doing katas and Leo was copying our moves. He wasn't doing really well and his limp was giving him problems but he could still remember some of the moves. He was not as graceful as … before but he could still make a kata seem like a dance.

But today wasn't one of his good days because he was stuffing up ie turning the wrong way, punching with the wrong arm but he was having fun, so we let him go. But Mikey with his chip on his shoulder, must have got mad, annoyed or something because what he did next was rotten and so out of character. He was on Leo's left side which is the weaker one. During a difficult turn, even for a fully functional person, Mikey "accidentally" nudged Leo's weaker side.

This caused Leo's leg to buckle. Except Mikey's plan might have gone slightly wrong because, him not knowing the first thing about physics, Leo fell onto him. Now Leo has lost a lot of weight but he is still a well-built turtle. Falling on Mikey also meant Leo twisted his leg and with it not being as strong as normal, he would have been in excruciating pain. Probably Mikey also hoped to make a big thing out of it, blame Leo and we would all take his side.

But the second Leo hit Mikey and rolled off, he let out a scream of pain. And it wasn't one of his "attention seeking" screams or whines but an actual scream of pain and agony.

We all raced over to Leo and found him curled up in a ball, clutching his leg. And sobbing. Raph knelt down and tried to pry Leo's hands away from his leg, so we could see if there was any damage but Leo started trying shake him off. This made him jar his leg even more and his sobbing increased.

Raph then astonished us all by pulling Leo into a hug and gently rocking him back and forth, trying to calm him down.

During this, I glanced over at Mikey. He had picked himself off the ground and was standing a short distance away from us. And the look of hurt on his face made me forgot about Leo for a moment. We had totally forgotten to check if Mikey was ok.

Usually when Mikey is hurt during practice or at any time, Raph is right there to check if he is ok. Not as much now, but whenever Mikey would trip over and skin his knee as a kid, which was quite often, Raph was usually the first one there to check on him. But not anymore. Raph hadn't even worried about Mikey, he'd immediately gone straight to Leo, as did all of us, and that probably hurt Mikey more than Leo landing on him ever would.

I turned my gaze back to Leo who seemed to have calmed down now and was still sitting in Raphs arms. Raph was still rocking back and forth and was talking quietly to Leo, which seemed to have a soothing effect because he now seemed nearly asleep in Raphs arms.

I knelt down and took a closer look at Leo's leg. Nothing seriously wrong. I reached out and tried to moved his leg slightly but Leo jerked and gave a little cry. Raph drew him closer and continued talking to him. I could catch a little here and there, stuff like "It'll be okay" "Don't worry".

Again I start checking his leg and found no damage, he had probably just pulled the tender tissue. I gave Raph a nod of "it's okay". He whispered something to Leo who looked up at me. I gave him a smile, which he returned weakly.

I looked back over to where Mikey was and found him gone. It doesn't matter, I thought because I knew Master Splinter would catch up with him later.

I looked up from my logbook after finishing my last entry. Truth be told, I'd written it days ago but I was rereading my entries. I was hoping to find something that might be a crucial link to Mikeys odd behaviour and I had found nothing. I must say I "lied" in my last entry. Master Splinter never "caught up" with Mikey. I think he was so disgusted with Mikey that he couldn't even yell at him. I think we are all disgusted with him. Everyone basically ignores his presence and he ignores ours. Not a happy family at the moment. Actually that is an overstatement. We ignore his presence of resentment towards Leo. We act like nothing happened. This is probably not the best way to approach the situation because it is resolving nothing but … I don't think anybody cares.

After Leo hurt his leg, practice still went on. Again he wasn't allowed to join but he was allowed to watch. There was a big storm a day ago and fresh snow fell. A lot of fresh snow. So practice has been moved to the barn. It was bitter cold outside but thankfully all the snow fell in one big onslaught and the weatherman said that it should be the last of it for awhile. I don't know how any of us haven't caught a cold, especially Mikey who spends his time mostly in the barn.

April and Casey have made the treacherous journey into town a few hours ago and will be gone for many more. The only reason they went was we are running low on supplies and the roads were cleared.

"Don practice!"

That must be Raph, you could hear his voice a mile away.

"Yeah Donny, practice, now!"

And there was Leo. Alongside flashcard sessions, he had "learn to talk in full sentences" sessions. Possibly harder then the flashcard sessions but it had paid off because Leo know sounded a bit more … older and not as … mental troubled. Except sometimes, now he wouldn't stop talking.

Smiling I shut my logbook and put it away in my/Mikeys room. I made my way out of the house to help Raph and Leo get across the snow covered ground to the barn. Leo was wearing human clothes hoping it would keep him warm but he had so many layers on that he was having trouble walking. It mightn't have helped that his feet were bare and snow is … shall we say … cold!

We made our way to the barn, got Leo comfortable and started practice.

* * *

Michelangelo's P.O.V.

I've been in the barn all morning. Doing nothing but sitting down on the hay wishing I was somewhere else. Not at the farm time forgot with a nutcase and his carers. It's sad to think that an idiot needs five people to look after him. That's probably why the world has such a big population, to look after the ones that can't look after themselves. I can admit that as I say these things, I do feel slightly … bad, but I'm not the one who had a stroke and now can't do anything without help. To me, I now don't have four brothers. I have three brothers and a retard. And a father that doesn't care about me anymore.

Speak of the devil, right on cue who walks through the door. Splinter. We lock eyes for a moment but I'm the first to break contact. I turn my back, well shell, towards him.

"I suggest you start warming up, your brothers will be here soon"

I ignore him and continue to brood on my dark thought. I hear him sigh and start preparing the barn for practice. I can hear he is having trouble moving the heavier objects out of the way but why should I help him.

After awhile I do heed his advice to warm up though, no use in me pulling a muscle, nobody would look after me.

Half way through warm-up, they arrive. After settling _him_ down and getting him comfortable, they join me. No words of greeting are shared, just silence.

The silence is finally broken up Splinter's call to start. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy practice, it's just I'm usually lazy and not really in to it. At the farm when I was told it would be restarted, I was actually happy, it would be something to do, something normal and it was. Except …

"Raphael keep that arm up"

"Yeah Raph arm up"

Except that thing was a walking, talking parrot.

"Donatello don't sweep so low"

"No sweep low Don"

All through practice this was what was happening.

"Michelangelo watch your step"

"Watch step Mikey-ange-loy"

It wasn't enough he was dumb, he was annoying too.

Don took it good heartedly; Raph didn't pay it any mind but it grinded into me like a wedge. Why was he here anyway? It's not like he could do anything?

The parrot continued through all of practice and because of it, I had my name said many times.

Finally we were on to sparring. Leo seemed to have gotten hot from all his talking and was peeling off all of his layers. Don was arguing with him to keep them on because it was cold but Leo was ignoring him. Who cared if he caught a cold!

Sparring started and for some kind of miracle, Leo shut up.

Don vs Raph, I vs Don, Raph vs Master Splinter, Don vs Master Splinter, I vs Don again, Raph vs Master Splinter again because he was improving a technique and then for the last match, I vs Raph.

We had been at it for a while and nobody was winning. We were just testing each other out but nothing too serious. Then Raph made a lunge and the serious fighting started. Everything was going well and I was actually winning, until I tripped on something in the hay and fell on my face.

"Hehehe better watch your feet Mikey-ange-loy"

That was it! I have had enough. Not only was I humiliated that I'd fallen over, he had to go point it out to the whole world. So I did the only thing I could think of, I quickly got to my feet and lunged at him.

I didn't get any further then about three feet before I was being forcefully held back my Raph. He was yelling something at me but for the roar in my ears, I could hear nothing. I tried to fight him off but he kept a firm hold on me. I think Master Splinter was shouting something as well but at that moment, I slammed my foot down on to Raphs. He let out a cry and loosened his grip slightly. It was enough, I fought free and again lunged.

But this time I was met in the air by a full force slam of a shoulder to my chest. I went down hard. While trying to get air back in my lungs, I saw Don standing protectively over Leo, while holding his bo staff. What did he think I was going to do, kill him? No I was just going to make him sorry for that last comment …

Talking about Leo, he was fearfully staring out from behind Dons legs. Then somebody was pulling me back up to my feet by my bandanna tails. Raph of course. I got a quick look at his foot, it was bright red. And seeming we have green feet, making his foot go bright red was a bit of an accomplishment. But I don't think he thought so because he then kicked my legs out and I fell to my knees. Ouch that hurt.

"I want you all to leave"

Master Splinter. If I guessed right, he was standing right in front of me.

Don and Raph started to object but a loud NOW was enough to get them moving. They collected Leo and headed for the door. I'm only guessing because I had my head bowed and could see little except for the ground at my knees.

"Raphael, your sai please"

My head shot up. What did he want Raphs sai for? He wasn't going to kill me was he?

Even after what I did to him, Raph reluctantly handed over his sai.

"Now go!"

They left. I heard Leo saying something like "Did I do something wrong?" and Don reassuring him. Yeah Don, make him feel all better. But my bitter thoughts were cut short by Master Splinter again standing in front of me, tapping the sai up and down in his hands. I couldn't help but gulp.

"Do you understand what you just did Michelangelo?"

I bowed my head. He had storm clouds in his eyes and I couldn't look at him.

"Look at me!"

I shrunk into myself. I wish I could still retreat into my shell but I haven't been able to do that for years.

"LOOK AT ME!" He roared

My head shot up. I'd never heard him shout like that before.

"I ASKED YOU A QUESTION AND I EXPECT AN ANSWER MICHELANGELO! DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU JUST DID!"

"I I I …"

"DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU JUST DID"

"I I I …"

"MICHELANGELO!"

"I I I …"

"I WILL ONLY ASK ONCE MORE"

I watched him for a second. There was no remorse or pity in his eyes, just deep anger. So I answered him.

"yes"

CRACK I was sent sprawling to the floor. He'd just … just hit me … with something … really hard. Tears started to well up in my eyes. Some from the pain but my father had never hit me like that. Once in a while a smack on the behind to keep me in line but never something like that.

"Get up"

I lay quivering on the floor.

"GET UP"

I hurriedly obliged and got back on my knees. I could feel my face swelling already. It would be bruised for a very long time and I didn't want another one planted on the other side of my face.

"Look at me"

Immediately I lifted my head. He wasn't holding his walking stick so he must have slapped me. More tears started to fall.

"You cry now. How many tears do you think Leo would have cried if you had of got to him. You were not thinking straight. DID YOU EVER THINK OF HOW MUCH MORE DAMAGE YOU COULD HAVE CAUSED!"

Again he was shouting. Not only was I crying, I was quivering with fear.

I shook my head. The tears were starting to run down my cheeks but I made no effort to wipe them.

Splinter turned his back on me.

"Michelangelo, tell me what some of the main codes I have taught you about ninjitsu"

I hesitated, where was this leading but after an angry whish of Splinters tail, I started naming them.

"Respect your Master and always obey"

He nodded but made no sound.

"Treat your weapon like a brother, they both may save you one day"

There were several but I could never remember them all. That was Leo's thing …

Master Splinter gave a cough for me to continue. I had better think of one fast.

"Protect those that can't protect themselves"

As soon as I said it, I knew where this was going.

"And in today's actions, did you fulfil this code"

I felt like a cold sweet had descended on me.

"n,n,n .. no"

In a split second, Master Splinter spun around and with Raphs sai, slashed my bandana from my head. It fell to the ground in two pieces, still tied together by my knot.

"Then until further notice, you are not fit to be a ninja and are exempt from all forms of training. I will take away your weapons because … they are not yours anymore"

I just ... stared at him. Not fit to be a ninja. Being a ninja was all I knew. Master Splinter moved off, picked up my beloved chucks and walked out of the barn. The door shut loudly in the quietness.

I hadn't moved an inch. He couldn't do that to me! If I wasn't a ninja, how could I be part of my family? I didn't mean to do what I did, I could change, I could. Maybe if I went and argued, made him see it was all Leo's fault, then maybe I could be a ninja again. This was all Leo's fault! THIS WAS ALL LEO'S FAULT!

I felt like I was going to burst inside and all I wanted to do was scream. Scream and scream and scream and scream until I couldn't scream anymore. I brought my hands up to my head and sobbed into them. Moving my fingers and through my tears, I could just see my ruined bandanna. The bandana that had been one of my first gifts from my father. It had been there when we thought we'd defeated Shredder and when he came back again. Through everything it had always been there, I felt naked without it and yet, there it was. Ruined. I picked up the pieces and cradled them to my face.

I heard the barn door creak open and looked up to see Don in the doorway. He had a sad look on his face but it would have done nothing to match mine.

"Mikey"

He started to walk inside.

"Get out" I growled.

He stopped in his tracks.

"Mikey look …"

"GET OUT!" I screamed.

I jumped up and for the second time today, I ran at somebody. With a yell he jumped out the door and I slammed it behind him.

I started bashing on the door for some reason. The pain did nothing to fill the hole I now felt. After a while I stopped and slid down the door. I turned my shell to it and rested against it. I was still crying. And I stayed there for two days. 


	6. Chapter 6

Summary: It all started out like any other day … until Leo collapses and suffers a seizure and a stroke. In the passing of a few minutes, their lives will be changed forever. They have faced many challenges in their lives but will this prove to be too much?

Disclaimer: I Own Nothing

* * *

_I heard the barn door creak open and looked up to see Don in the doorway. He had a sad look on his face but it would have done nothing to match mine._

_"Mikey"_

_He started to walk inside._

_"Get out" I growled._

_He stopped in his tracks._

_"Mikey look …"_

_"GET OUT!" I screamed._

_I jumped up and for the second time today, I ran at somebody. With a yell, he jumped out the door and I slammed it behind him._

_I started bashing on the door for some reason. The pain did nothing to fill the hole I now felt. After a while, I stopped and slid down the door. I turned my shell to it and rested against it. I was still crying. And I stayed there for two days._

* * *

Raphael's P.O.V.

When Master Splinter told us what had happened to Mikey, we were all shocked. And yet shocked doesn't seem like the best word to use. A huge mix of emotions … but probably nothing compared to what Mikeys is feeling. He has not left the barn in two days. Someone occasionally takes food to him, sometimes he eats it, sometimes he don't.

I'm not saying he didn't have it coming but to have something taken away from you that you grew up knowing you were, your birthright, would be … devastating.

It's affected Don and me because … it could happen to us. Sure, we'd have to do something awful but it could still happen. And how do we act around him? Act like nothing has happened or rub it in his face?

It has affected Leo, without him fully knowing it. I don't think he realizes the depth of what has happened but it got me thinking, would Splinter not allow Leo to be a ninja? Because … theoretically, Leo can't be a ninja anymore. It's hard to say … or even think because again, it's his birthright and yet, how can he be? I hate to admit it but I've been trying to keep Leo away from Master Splinter and from causing too much trouble, just in case he gets the idea.

Mind you, talking about Leo, he is not totally clueless and he knows something is … wrong. He also knows he was somehow involved but he doesn't know how or why. He also knows that Mikey doesn't … like him.

Because of this, Leo has been quite … withdrawn the last couple of days. Nothing unusual but not the bubbly Leo we have come to know, accept and love.

At this moment, Leo is having his afternoon nap. We found Leo gets tired really easy and by giving him a few hours sleep, it ties him over until night time. It also gives us a break.

However, today isn't going well because Leo is not fulfilling the nap criteria by going to sleep. He is just lying on his side staring at the wall. I'm trying to read one of Casey's new motorcycle magazines but Leo's … restlessness is distracting me.

"Are you going to go to sleep?" I ask him.

I can just see him shake his head.

"I can't"

I know these kind of conversations. Doesn't matter what you say, its either "No" or he gets his own way. There is no reasoning with him but it doesn't mean you don't try.

"You should try or you will be tired and might fall asleep at the table again"

The last time Leo did that, he fell into his plate of food and sprayed it everywhere. I get no answer, so I return to my magazine. Sometimes I'm too exhausted to argue.

"Why does Mikley not like me?"

Well that threw me for a second. I don't think any of us thought Leo was … able to pick up on things like that. He's smarter sometimes then he lets on. That question was probably what has been bugging him.

But, what was I supposed to say? Because he was having hormonal problems. Because he is being Mikey. So, I answered the only way I could. With the truth.

"I don't know Leo".

He turned over to face me.

"I didn't do anything … bad did I?"

I shook my head. Man I could kill Mikey at the moment, ninja or no ninja.

"Then why does he … hate me"

I paused.

"I think you'd have to ask Mikey that one Leo … because at the moment, nobody knows"

* * *

Michelangelo's P.O.V.

I've spent two days in this barn, doing nothing but staring into space. Sometimes food will be brought, sometimes I'll eat it but mostly it goes back cold and untouched. I have not seen Master Splinter since …

Should I still call me Master Splinter? Since I am no longer a ninja, is he still my master. I'm all cried out and crying got me nowhere. Pounding on the door only brought me sore hands.

This is all Leo's fault. Throughout all these long hours, I've been trying to reach a conclusion but I keep coming back to, it's all Leo's fault.

And do you know what makes it worse, right at this moment he's up in the house, probably taking a nap, not a care in the world and yet, here I am all alone. And it's all his fault.

I hear the barn door creak open. Probably Don coming to collect my plate … but didn't he come to do that earlier? I've moved myself into one of the stalls and can't see the door. Maybe Don has come to "counsel" me. It wouldn't be Master Splinter, hope it's not anyway, Casey and April drove into town for supplies, again, earlier and Raph hasn't even looked at me since I tripped Leo. Must be Don. Mind you, if he thinks he is going to find a happy turtle, he's got another thing coming … but it has been lonely.

"M…m…Mikley?"

I give a start, it's Leo. Half of me wants to go and beat him to a pulp for what he's done but then he'd probably blab. Mind you, it's not like he can take much more away from me. Family, ninja hood … brothers. No, I'll be good, stay hidden and he might go away.

"Mikley?"

Crude, he's getting closer. And he can't even say my name properly anymore.

"_Mikley?_"

"WHAT!"

Opps bad move, now he knows I'm here. I can hear him coming towards me. Why couldn't I have just kept my mouth shut! Now he's at the entrance to my stall.

I was right; he must have been having a "nap" because he has a blanket wrapped around him. But if he's supposed to be having nap … what's he doing here without one of his carers following him. Unless he's alone?

I spin over and take a quick look outside my stall. Nope, no Don or Raph. Oh so the once great Leonardo has escaped the clutches of his followers. Why couldn't he have wondered into the forest and fallen into a snow drift.

"What you are looking for?"

Whatever Don says about Leo's "speech" lessons, they ain't working. I move back into my stall.

"What are you doing here?" I ask coldly

Leo blinks, probably contemplating the question.

Moron.

"I was looking for you"

Duh, that must have been hard to think of.

"Why?"

"I want to ask you something"

Great, just what I wanted to hear.

"Well hurry up and ask so you can leave or somebody might notice your missing wondrous presence and come looking" My voice was dripping with sarcasm but it was wasted on Leo.

"Why do you hate me?"

Well I'm dumbfounded, who would have thought he was smart enough to pick up on something like that. But he wasn't Leo, Leo would have never said anything like that out loud. He would have carried it with him until it weighed him down or the situation improved.

"Because if I did something wrong, I didn't mean to and I'm sorry for what I did"

Like wrecking my life as a ninja.

"Mikley?"

"Yeah, yeah whatever"

Well that was enlightening but now it's time for him to move on … he's not moving. He's still staring at me. WHY can't he just leave me ALONE! Well he's not getting anything else out of me.

"I hope we can be friends Mikley"

I can't help but snort at that. Me, friends, with him, I don't even think of us as brothers.

Leo starts to move away but just when he's out of my line of sight, he speaks again.

"Mikley?"

"WHAT NOW!"

Now he's really getting annoying. I played his game, I accepted his stupid apology and now why won't he just leave me in peace!

"I found your nu…nun…nun chu … weapons on the kitchen table and brought them out, did you misplace them?"

I spun around so quickly and got out of my stall so fast I stumbled. And their they were my bab … YES they were MY BABIES! And they were in the hands of the most wretched thing on the planet. I don't know what was worse, the fact he had been holding them, or the fact he was still holding them.

"Give them back" I growled "Give. Them. Back"

Leo looked down at my nunchucks and back at me. He had a … confused look on his face.

"You should know b …bet … better then to leave th … them lying around"

I snapped … again but this time, nobody was around to stop me.

One moment, his words that nearly echoed my lost forever brothers words who had abandoned us with this … freak were going through my ears, the next, I'd crossed the barn in one leap, pulled back my fist and hit Leo so hard that he flew three feet back.

How many times had Leo told me not to leave my stuff around? That somebody was going to get hurt. And to hear it from him was like having a knife plunged into my heart. Oh Leo was right, somebody was going to get hurt.

"DON'T YOU DARE EVER SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT AGAIN!" I screamed at him.

I moved so I stood over him. His lip was bleeding and he had a shocked look on his face.

I grabbed him by the blanket that was still wrapped around him and started shaking him.

"DO YOU HEAR ME! NEVER AGAIN!"

I threw him backwards and he slide a few feet.

He slowly propped himself up on one arm.

"But I thought we were friends … brothers. How can I be your brother if I can't talk to you?"

My emotions burst like a dam.

"Once upon a time you WERE my brother but now your nothing but a stupid sniveling retard that can't look after himself and needs attention 24/7. You can't do anything. Your worthless and I hate you. I HATE YOU and I WISH you were DEAD!"

By now, I had tears streaming down my face. All my emotions from the past who-knows-how-long had boiled over and I couldn't stop. But everything I had said was true ... every single word.

Leo started at me for a few seconds before I saw tears start to form at the corners of his eyes and furiously start running down his face. A sod racked his body but I found no pity in me. He was pathetic.

And for the third time in this barn, I used two very powerful words.

"Get out"

He didn't move, he just sat there on the ground sobbing but when I moved in to give him a boot, he got moving. Even with a limp he was fast. And he still had that stupid blanket. He ran to the barn door and bolted out. The door then shut quietly behind him and I was returned to the quietness of the barn. I was all alone.

* * *

Raphael's P.O.V.

I arched my neck. Man I hate sleeping in chairs, and sleeping on the ground and not sleeping in my hammock but let's not go there … it's too painful.

I hate to say but I've been falling asleep as well during Leo's little naps. Sometimes he wakes up before me and has to wake me because I'm still fast asleep. It's just … Leo's tiring. You have to watch him every step of the way … but at least we still have him.

I open my eyes to see if he's still asleep and … he's gone.

Panic floods through me before I can stop it. I concentrate on controlling my breathing and try to calm down … NOT WORKING!

I bolt out of my chair and out into the hall. Nothing. I head towards the bathroom, in case he had to go. I pass Don, asleep in his room, no Leo. No Leo in the bathroom either.

I take a quick peak in Splinters … room? He is in deep mediation. My heart is racing. I can't decide whether to alert the others or just hope I'm over-reacting. The last time I over-reacted, we found him in the kitchen … THE KITCHEN.

I jump down the stairs, land in a crouched position and move to the kitchen. No Leo. No Leo in the lounge room, no Leo in the laundry and no Leo in the weapons cupboard.

I race out onto the pouch, the door crashing noisily, looking around wildly for any sign of him. Then I spot some footprints in the snow, leading to the barn.

Why would Leo go to see Mikey? Mikey had better not done anything to him!

I run across the snow, its bitter cold out here. My breath rises in steam and I quickly hop from foot to foot. Cold-blooded animals would not survive long in this.

I reach the barn and wrench the door open, partly to see if Leo is in there and partly to get out of the cold.

"_Mikey_!"

No answer.

"Mikey!"

This time I yell louder. Nothing. I go to yell again but I hear a faint "yeah"

I run down to one of the last stalls and find him sitting propped up against a wall. He's fiddling with something in his hands. His nun chucks! But I thought Master Splinter took them off him? Why would he have them? But I have more important issues at the moment.

"Mikey have you seen Leo?"

He seems to move uncomfortably at this. To squirm.

"Why?"

This is wasting time.

"Cause I can't find him"

Mikey just … sits there, staring into space. I can see the marks of his bandanna, where some parts of his skin are lighter than others. I unconsciously fiddle with the ends of mine. And he still does not talk.

I lace my words with urgency and slight … anger.

"Mike, did you hear me? Have you seen …"

"No"

He doesn't even look at me.

"Are you sure cause his foot prints come straight here…"

"I haven't seen him"

Well that's enough for me; with a grunt of frustration, I turn my back on Mikey and run from the barn, to be met by something I missed earlier, outside in the snow. A second set of footprint … and they lead straight into the forest. Without thinking, I dash off after them, hoping I wasn't too late ...because a cold sense of dread is forming in my stomach.

And it has started snowing.


	7. Chapter 7

Summary: It all started out like any other day … until Leo collapses and suffers a seizure and a stroke. In the passing of a few minutes, their lives will be changed forever. They have faced many challenges in their lives but will this prove to be too much?

Disclaimer: I Own Nothing

* * *

_Mikey just … sits there, staring into space. I can see the marks of his bandanna, where some parts of his skin are lighter than others. I unconsciously fiddle with the ends of mine. And he still does not talk._

_I lace my words with urgency and slight … anger._

_"Mike, did you hear me? Have you seen …"_

_"No"_

_He doesn't even look at me._

_"Are you sure cause his foot prints come straight here…"_

_"I haven't seen him"_

_Well that's enough for me; with a grunt of frustration, I turn my back on Mikey and run from the barn, to be met by something I missed earlier, outside in the snow. A second set of footprint … and they lead straight into the forest. Without thinking, I dash off after them, hoping I wasn't too late ...because a cold sense of dread is forming in my stomach._

_And it has started snowing._

* * *

Leonardo's P.O.V.

Why did Mikley hate me? As I ran, I tried to … think on this but the pain in my left leg caused me to easily forget it. It burnt like … hot water or that stuff in the fireplace that hurt when I touched it … fire that is it. But I can't stop running. It felt like an evil shadow of Mikley was following me, wanting to hit me again or shake me. Panicking I felt a chill run up and down my back. Maybe he was following me and was going to hurt me?

I twisted my head to look behind and tripped over something in the snow. I fell forwards and landed on several hard objects. The breath was knocked out of me and I couldn't get it back.

Eventually I did and I looked up to a tree, I must have tripped on its … Raph called them … roots. While looking up, white … objects started to fall towards me. It was snowing. I now realize it is cold and I am shaking. My teeth are chattering, I didn't notice them while I was running.

Where was my blanket? I frantically look around but can't see it. I start crying. That was MY blankey and now it is GONE! More snow is falling and … it's getting colder.

Why does Mikley hate me? And why won't he tell me what I did wrong? I cry harder. If he just said what I did, then maybe I could apologize and everything would be okay. But nothing was ever okay. I was always doing something wrong … or different.

Somebody was always showing me how to do things and that I wasn't "doing" it right. I don't mean to be different. And then, sometimes I hear them talking about … how I "used" to be. Wasn't I always … like this. I don't understand, was I better "before"? I can sometimes … remember things … using weapons, being with Raph, Don … and Mikley, sitting on the floor with Master Splinter, running on the tops of … buildings but my head always hurts afterwards.

And I see their … looks. Raph sometimes looks at me unhappily, like when I'm not doing something right or not "how I used to". Don writes in his … book … about me. I saw it once but I couldn't read it. When I mix things up, Master Splinter looks sad or disappointed … or both. I do not spend much time with April and … and … him.

They treat me like a child. Like I can't look after myself and will break everything I touch. And Mikley hates me?

Maybe if I apologized? No, I already did that. Maybe I didn't apologize enough? Yeah and maybe I didn't sound … sorry enough. Yeah that must be it. I'll go back; say I'm sorry, really sorry like, and say it many times and then Mikley will be my friend.

I feel happier that I now know what I am going to do. I get up but my stomach … hurts from the roots. So did my leg … but I can walk. But which way is home? I looked around but can't see it? Where was it?

I heard a … sound. It sounded like someone was … calling me. I turned to my right and saw … something moving in the snow. I moved towards it. It was small … and furry. It walked on … one, three, two, four … four legs and had big feet. I moved closer. It was so … cute? I heard April say that.

As I got closer, it looked up at me, gave a … cry and started to run away.

"Wait" I yelled.

I ran after it and nearly reached it, when something roared, barrelled into my side and threw me through the air.

* * *

Raphael's P.O.V.

It's getting colder. Boy is it getting cold. It feels like my breath is freezing in my lungs. I should have told the others where I was going but instinct was telling me something wasn't right. Something was going to happen. Actually, I know what is going to happen … I'm not going to survive long out here. Fear is rising in me, if I won't survive long in this weather, Leo has no chance. And his trail just keeps going. I'd try calling for him but I can't work up enough air. I just run on.

Something up ahead catches my attention. It's Leo's blanket! I race up to it and find it discarded in the snow … he must have dropped it. The fear increases. I'd been holding onto the fact that he had his blanket with him and it might keep him slightly warm … but not now.

I pick it up … it's not warm. If it was slightly warm, then he might be close but its cold … NO it's freezing out here, no warmth would be left after he dropped it, even if he had just dropped it. I had wrapped the blanket around my shoulders; it might help me until I find Leo, when I notice something falls on me. I look up …it's started snowing. NO!

I jerk my head back to Leo's trail … it's slowly disappearing.

"NO!"

I race along the trail but the snow is quickly filing it up. I'm losing Leo's tracks … along with any hope of finding him.

I race on but I'm losing the battle.

"NO, NO, NO, NO!"

The trail is nearly gone.

"NO ... LEO!" I scream.

But it's gone. I frantically search for anything but the snow has covered everything. And it's falling quicker.

"NNNNNOOOOO!"

I drop to my knees … I'll never find him now.

"RRRRAAAAAHHHHH!"

My head shot up … that sounded like the roar of an animal … and a scream.

"LEO!"

I scramble to my feet and dash towards the sound. But the snow is making it difficult. I just hope whatever is happening, I'm not too late.

* * *

Leonardo's P.O.V.

I was thrown to the ground but the snow stopped me from sliding far. Then it was on me. It roared again and I tried to scream but I couldn't. Its claws started hacking into my shell … I can feel parts coming off. Again I tried to scream but I was too scared.

Then its claws cut into the back of my head, down my neck and shoulders. My arms fly up to cover my head but as they touch, the pain. Oh the pain. It hurts so much! I found my voice to scream.

I must have startled the thing because it moved off me. I brought my hands forward; they were covered in blood … lots of it. I screamed again.

I scrambled to my feet, just as it lunged again. Why was it attacking me?

**Womph.**

I collected the full blow and was thrown into the air again. Than my shell slammed into a tree. My head shot back and smashed into the tree, brushing my wounds. I screamed but I was in so much agony, I was now just choking on my sobs.

The thing came at me, one last time. I raised my arms to protect me but it just roared and started clawing at me. Slashes fell on my arms, legs, stomach. I let out one final cry as my arms dropped and it lunged to finish me off.

* * *

Raphael's P.O.V.

"NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!" I screamed.

In one swift motion, I dropped the blanket, ran two feet, jumped in the air and delivered the hardest side-drive kick I could muster. I drove as far as I could into the bear's side and it hardly moved. But it didn't kill Leo either; its attention was now on me.

Roaring in pain, I hope, it twisted around and I was knocked to the side. I fell to the ground and the bear reared up over me. For the first time in my life, I was frozen in fear. I couldn't move. But when its claws started to descend towards me, I had to react. I rolled to the side but because of the snow, I only just got out from underneath it. I had to get on my feet; I was dead if I didn't.

I tried to get to my feet but the bear swiped at me with its claws and I had to roll again. Coming to a stop in the snow, I saw the bear size me up to come at me. Frantically searching, I spotted nothing of use against a bear and my sais were at home. The bear charged, so I did the only thing I could, I threw a snowball at it. It wasn't anything special, just a scope of snow slugged at an approaching bear but it stopped it in its tracks. I scrambled to my feet as the bear roared and tried to clear the snow. I had seconds before it can at me again.

Spotting an overhanging tree, I ran, jumped and used the bear as a springboard to get the leverage I needed. The bear again roared but I was out of its reach. Grabbing for the nearest branch, I swung up into the tree. The bear was now enraged. Not only had it been interrupted from killing its first target, another one came and used it as a springboard. But why was it attacking us?

Looking behind the enraged bear, I saw a little cub sitting in the snow. So, the bear was a mother only protecting its young. Well I was a brother protecting another brother. We were fighting for the same thing … family, but the bear was on the wrong side.

I looked down at the bear, hoping it would now think I was no longer a threat and leave. No such luck.

The bear reared up and when it found it couldn't reach me, it crashed into the trunk of the tree. I swear the tree shuddered. Snow certainly fell off the tree. Snow …

I looked at the snow-laden branch that was bending under the weight of not only me but under all the snow it had to bare. It gave me an idea. I grabbed the branch above me and when the bear was again under me, I jumped and slammed all my weight onto the branch. Nothing happened, except snow fell off. I was too close to the base.

Slowly moving further out onto the branch, the killer bear followed me, rearing every now and then. When I was a little way along the branch, I tried again. The branch groaned but didn't break. The bear reared again but still couldn't reach me. I felt like saying "Ha Ha".

I now moved into the middle of the branch and it started to bend downwards. I again jumped. There was a distinct cracking sound. I jumped again and the cracking sound increased.

I looked down at the bear whom seemed to be looking up at me in interest. If only she knew.

"Nobody hurts my brother"

Then I jumped up once more and put all my force into the downwards fall. Feet connecting with the branch and I was just quick enough to grab the overhanging branch as the one underneath gave way with a huge CRACK. And fell directly onto the bear. I don't know what was the more pleasing sound; the CRACK of the branch or the cry of the bear as the branch connected with its ugly head.

As I hung from the above branch like a monkey, the bear dug itself out from under the branch. It looked up at me and I feared it would still try and get me. Then it let out a sound like a yelp and run off towards its cub. The cub got up and run after its mother, making the same sound. If bears had tails, well this one would have had its tail between its legs.

Dropping to the ground, only then did I realize how tired I was. But that couldn't stop the huge grin on my face. Not many people survived a bear attack, not many people survived a mother bear attacking to protect it young … I wasn't even human and I'd survived! MuAHHHH! Boo YA!

Then I remembered Leo. How could have I forgotten! I raced over to where I had left him and came to a shuddering halt. The sight that met me was … was ... sickening.

Leo was slumped in the roots of a tree, as if the tree was trying to cradle him in its arms. But blood was freely flowing from all his … wounds. There was too much blood to know where one wound started and the other finished. His arms where in shreds, long gashes all over them. His plastron was … covered but a particularly bad one stood out that went from his left shoulder to his right leg. It was deep. His legs were in tatters.

I stumbled forwards and knelt beside him in the bowels of the tree.

"Leo?" I croaked.

I looked down at his … broken body. This close up, the smell of the blood was … overwhelming. I choked back a sob and turned back to his face. His eyes were open.

He was conscious.

"How much pain must he be in?" I thought.

He opened his mouth, possibly to say something but all that came out was a pained sob … and blood.

"Shhhh" I whispered as I stroked his face.

He turned his head into my hand. Tears are streaming down my face. I again looked at him. I had to stop the blood flow, if the snow didn't freeze it first. During my fight, the snow had lessened up but it was starting to cover him. But I had nothing … THE BLANKET.

I twisted around and saw the end of it pocking out of the snow, a little to my left.

"I'll be back in a second Leo".

I think he tried to protest to me leaving him but … I had to go. I raced off to the blanket and pulled it out of the snow, it was frozen. I tried to shake the snow off but with it still falling even slightly, it did hardly anything. It would have to do. I raced back to Leo.

He is starting to lose consciousness; I can see it in his eyes.

"Come on Leo stay with me" I shouted.

His eyes lazily followed me as I put the blanket over the top of him and proceeded to push it underneath. When the other end came through, I pulled it so Leo was wrapped up. Only his feet and head were not covered. I gagged as I realized the chunks that had came out from behind Leo, with the blanket, were bits of his shell.

Then I went to pick him up. I carefully moved his head forward but my hand came away coated in blood. Breathe caught in my throat, I took a quick look behind his head… and saw a series of harsh cuts in the back of his head. It looked like someone had placed a set of claws on the top of his head and drew them backwards.

But there was nothing I could go. I took one more look at his face, he was fading. The colour was leaving his face and he was freezing. It was lucky if he survived but getting out of this snow was going to be difficult.

Carefully I slipped my hands under him and brought him up to my chest. He let out a pain cry but was otherwise silent. I brought his head up so it was resting between my top chest plate and arm. I hope it stops some of the bleeding. But I could already see blood seeping through the blankets.

I had to get him home fast. Turning back the way I came, I relied on my ninja instincts to lead me home. I went as fast as I could … but when Leo went limp in my arms about five minutes after starting, I went faster.

* * *

Michelangelo's P.O.V.

It was mid-afternoon, snow was falling outside and we were having lunch. Master Splinter had come and asked me if I would accompany them at lunch and I decided to leave the barn. I don't know why I left, the silence at the table matches that of the barn but after my "fight" with Leo, I just wanted to get out of there. He had somehow polluted it. Not like the rest of this house wasn't polluted but … I suppose I couldn't stay in there forever.

Not like I can stay here forever, not like I want to. I've decided the second we get back to New York, I'm gone. I don't know where I'll go, not like a giant turtle can go many places, but I can't live with him for the rest of my life. Nothing is holding me back. I have no family, I'm not a ninja, so what have I got left? And it's not like Raph or Don will come.

Speaking of Raph, he hasn't been seen since he came into the barn. And it's been snowing all afternoon … NO he's probably off in some corner with Leo trying to get him to act normal. Probably using the "flashcards". If I'd know my pretty drawings were going to be used on him, then Don could have gone and used some other resource.

But where was Raph? He had a stack of toasted sandwiches waiting for him and it wasn't like Raph to miss a meal, or to let _him_ miss a meal. Not that I cared about him since he didn't care about me but where was he? I can tell the others are slightly … worried. Everyone's eating too quietly. Mind you, it might be because I'm here. The reject of the family, the black sheep. Funny how things have changed, that used to be Raph's job.

I've finished my batch of sandwiches, have pushed back my chair and are about to leave when I hear something stumble up onto the pouch. Puzzled, everyone looks towards the kitchen door. Then Raph stumbles in and he's carrying a bloodied blanket in his arms.

Gasp rings out around the table as Raph drops to his knees and Leo falls out the blankets. I hear April gag, Don and Master Splinter give a cry and rush to his aid but I'm glued to the chair in horror. What have I done?

Leo is as pale as … as … nothing I can think of is that colourless. He was motionless on the ground but blood was still oozing from the … marks all over his body. They looked like claw marks. He looked dead. Fear gripped me. He was dead! NO! What have I done?

His mouth was open and his face had a … pained expression. What had I done? I'd made him run out into the snow and face something … something and he died in pain! Don and Master Splinter are at his side and Don was trying to find a pulse. I hear him shout that he can't find anything. He sounds scared.

Raph , who is still on his knees, collapses. Casey catches him and pulls him back. He's shouting to him. Raph is blue, I'm not lying, he's blue. Raph then jerks forward and vomits all over the floor before slumping to the side. He's gone. Dons now shouting at Raph, trying to wake him but he's passed out.

Don shouts at Casey to take Raph upstairs and put him in one of the beds. Something about blankets, hot water bottle and such. I'm still frozen to my seat watching Leo. What have I done?

He's dead. I can tell. He's dead. What have I done?

Don is shouting at April and me to clear the table. But I can't move. April grabs everything off the table and just throws it. Plates, cups everything goes everywhere. And I still can't move.

Don and Master Splinter lift Leo up and move him to the table. They lay him down and he just slumps. And his face falls to face me. What have I done?

A trail of blood is slowly making its way down out of his mouth and down his face. It slowly drips onto the table. Even though his eyes are shut, they seem to be piercing into me … saying look what you have done. Look what you have done to me? Why did I deserve this? Why did I deserve this? You've killed your own brother.

Master Splinter pushes in front of me with a tea towel to help starch the flow. But it does little. He's coated in blood, how much more does he have to lose?

Don is again shouting at me but I just can't hear what he is saying. And I can't tear my eyes away. Then someone grabs my chin and yanks my head away. It's Don.

"Mikey if you are not going to help, you could at least get out of the way!"

My limbs unfreeze. If you are not going to help, you could at least get out of the way. I had helped. I had caused it. I stagger out of the chair and stumble backwards to the door. As the door shuts, I am left with the sight of Don frantically trying to resuscitate Leo, Master Splinter trying to cover wounds and April holding Leos hand, tears streaming down her face, frantically calling to him, telling him not to leave.

What have I done? 


	8. Chapter 8

Summary: It all started out like any other day … until Leo collapses and suffers a seizure and a stroke. In the passing of a few minutes, their lives will be changed forever. They have faced many challenges in their lives but will this prove to be too much?

Disclaimer: I Own Nothing

* * *

_He's dead. I can tell. He's dead. What have I done?_

_Don is shouting at April and me to clear the table. But I can't move. April grabs everything off the table and just throws it. Plates, cups everything goes everywhere. And I still can't move._

_Don and Master Splinter lift Leo up and move him to the table. They lay him down and he just slumps. And his face falls to face me. What have I done?_

_A trail of blood is slowly making its way down out of his mouth and down his face. It slowly drips onto the table. Even though his eyes are shut, they seem to be piercing into me … saying look what you have done. Look what you have done to me? Why did I deserve this? Why did I deserve this? You've killed your own brother._

_Master Splinter pushes in front of me with a tea towel to help starch the flow. But it does little. He's coated in blood, how much more does he have to lose?_

_Don is again shouting at me but I just can't hear what he is saying. And I can't tear my eyes away. Then someone grabs my chin and yanks my head away. It's Don._

_"Mikey if you are not going to help, you could at least get out of the way!"_

_My limbs unfreeze. If you are not going to help, you could at least get out of the way. I had helped. I had caused it. I stagger out of the chair and stumble backwards to the door. As the door shuts, I am left with the sight of Don frantically trying to resuscitate Leo, Master Splinter trying to cover wounds and April holding Leos hand, tears streaming down her face, frantically calling to him, telling him not to leave._

_What have I done?

* * *

_

Michelangelo's P.O.V.

The farmhouse is quiet; I cannot believe how quiet it is. Rolling onto my side, I try to get to sleep but I can't. I have to go see it.

I silently get off my bed and walk out of Donny and my room. I pass Raph … and Leo's room.

Master Splinter is sitting on the bed consumed in his grief. He is cradling a bandanna in his hands, like it will bring him back his son. Long hours of crying had engraved channels in his face. I walked on.

Descending the stairs, I stop at the entrance to the kitchen. Casey and April are inside. April has her head buried in her hands, sobs continually wracking her body. Casey has a hand on her shoulder, probably as a comforter but he is staring out into space. I turned away.

Don is sitting on the couch, starring at the TV. It is not on. He has the flashcards in his hands and he keeps running his hands over them. Silent tears run down his face and with him not wearing his mask, I can see the dead look in his eyes. I walked outside.

Raph has a punching bag set up on the lawn and is attacking it with full force. He has been doing it for quite awhile because blood is flowing between his fingers and leaving prints on the bag. But he makes no sound. He usually is shouting or cursing at the punching bag but not now. A badly aimed punch causes him to miss the bag completely and fall to the ground. He buries his head in his arm and cries.

I leave him and walk on to the entrance of the forest. I walk over to one of the trees and wipe some snow away from it trunk. Engraved on the tree is:

R.I.P

Leonardo

"Why did you do it Mikey?"

I spin around and see Raph walking towards me.

"I didn't mean …"

"He only wanted to be your friend"

I turn and see Don now coming towards me

"Donny … "

"Why couldn't you have just accepted him like the rest of us?"

I turn again and see April.

"April please …"

"What did Leo ever do to you Mikey … except want to be your brother?"

Whipping my head around, Casey has now joined us.

"Nothing just …"

The anger hurt and betrayal in their voices is growing and a fog has formed, so all I can see is them and the tree.

"My son"

Master Splinter has now come and I turn to face him.

"Master Splinter …"

But the look of brokenness on his face stops me.

"How could you do this, why would you, he has sacrificed himself for you so many times …"

"Father please …" I beg

"Look" He extends a finger and points behind me.

They have all now formed a semi-circle around me and the fog is getting thicker. I slowly turn.

Behind me is only the tree with Leo's name on it, his final resting place. Then it seems that invisible hands are carving more.

R.I.P

Leonardo

Cause: Mikey

"NO"

Reason: Mikey

"NO!"

Fault: Mikey

"NOOO!

Blame: Mikey

"Please NO!"

Brother …

"No, please No this is not happening..."

Mikey

"NOOOOOO!" I scream but now the tree is filling up with the inscription of Mikey under "Brother"

"Mikey"

I freeze. I know that voice … and I have missed it so much.

I slowly move so I can see beyond the tree and there he is, walking out of the mist.

Leonardo.

There he is, standing in front of me. Standing not bent on his weak leg or with the tired look in his eyes but Leo, in his full prime, healthy, strong, upright, non-dependant on others. He is wearing his mask and even has his katanas strapped to his shell. He is just how I remembered him. His voice is even the same.

I moved towards him.

"Why did you kill me?"

I stopped.

"No Leo …"

"Don't 'No Leo' me. I looked after you for seventeen years and this is how you repay me"

"Leo I …"

"All those times I protected you, cared for you, watched over you and this is what I GET!"

"No please listen …"

"I was your brother Mikey, your brother"

He starts walking towards me.

"I know just …"

"What happens to Raph and Don? They lose their worth so you kill them to!"

"No I'd never …"

"You'd never what, kill someone. Well guess what Mikey; you just killed your own brother.

He is now little more than three feet away.

"Leo don't"

"You're just sorry you weren't there to see me die"

"NO!"

He is now towering over me. At the sight of him this close and all that he threw at me, I fall to my knees. One of his hands cups my chin and draws my face up to look into his eyes.

"Well guess what Mikey, here's your chance"

His eyes then roll back and he falls forward onto me. I give a cry but cannot get out of the way in time. The second Leo touched me, blood starts pouring from gashes that cover his body. I'm getting covered in it.

"LEO NO!"

I sit up and he slumps into my lap.

"NO NO NO!"

He is losing colour and blood is fast flowing from his body, making a pool around us.

I look up to Raph, Don, Master Splinter, Casey and April.

"SOMEBODY HELP ME, PLEASE SOMEBODY!"

Master Splinter steps forward.

'You brought this on yourself Michelangelo"

Leo is choking in my lap. I look down and see blood pouring from his mouth. He is twisting and turning in pain. I hug him tight to my body.

"PLEASE … I'LL DO ANYTHING JUST SOMEBODY HELP HIM!"

But nobody comes to my aid. They all turn their back on me and walk off into the mist.

Leo's seizure reaches its peak and then he goes limp in my arms ... he just stops moving. I loosen my grip on Leo and lower him into my lap. He was gone. I had lost him again.

"NNNNNNOOOOOOOO!"

I clawed my way out of the nightmare and find myself panting, as if I had made a long run. I turned over and was met by the sight of Raph's sleeping form. It had been three days since Raph stumbled into the kitchen, carrying a half-dead Leo and nearly dying himself from the cold. I'd had the same nightmare since …

The last time Don had come into our room, he had said Raph should wake up soon and there was no serious or permanent damage. As for Leo …

I got out of the bed we had been sharing and made sure Raph was still covered. Not wanting him sleeping on the floor, we moved him to Don and mine room. Speaking of Don, I do not think he has slept much since …

I walked out of the bedroom and down the stairs, stopping at the bottom. Leo was on the couch since Don had not wanted to move him far. Don's breathing mask was set up again and Leo was attached to it. Mainly Don kept vigil of Leo, being the only medic here but by the looks of it, the long hours had caught up with him. He was kneeling on the ground with his head resting on the couch and one of his hands clasping Leo's.

I slowly made my way over to him and gently shook him on the shoulder. He jerked awake.

"Easy Don" I said.

He turned to look at me with bleary eyes.

"Mikey?"

It always took Don a long time to wake up.

"Yeah"

Don looked around.

"How long have I been asleep?".

I shook my head.

"I dunno but you're dead on your feet, go to bed"

Now Don shook his head.

"I can't, I have to watch Leo"

"You can't watch him while asleep" I pointed out.

Don seemed to lower his head guiltily.

Opps, I didn't mean it badly.

"Look Don, you've been run off your feet, go get some rest, I'll watch Leo"

Don turned to me.

"Thanks Mikey but what if something happens"

"Then I'll call you but unless you get some sleep, you won't be able to do much anyway"

I could see Don weakening.

"Please Don"

He had no idea how much I wanted to spend time with Leo.

I saw Don's resolve fall. He let out a tired sign.

"Okay but call me if the slightest thing happens"

I put my hand on his shoulder.

"I will"

Moving cramped muscles, Don got to his feet and walked towards the stairs. I took his place next to Leo.

"Mikey?"

I turned and saw Don at the bottom of the stairs.

"I'm sorry for what I said in the kitchen, I … I was worried for Leo and wasn't thinking what I was saying"

I wanted to tell Don there and then, how much I deserved his scolding … but I couldn't bring myself to. Not when Leo still had a chance of … dying. I was too ashamed of myself.

Anyway, I deserved it.

"Don't worry Don, it's okay"

Don nodded and made his way back up the stairs. I waited until I heard the door to our bedroom close and the creaking of the old bed, before I turned back to Leo.

And burst into tears.

Leo's face was … pale. He did not seem to have regained any of his colour. I could not see the rest of his body because blankets had been piled onto him. The hand that Don was holding had slipped out from under the blankets and Don, in his tired state, probably did not think to put it back.

Gently, I picked it up and slipped it back under, catching the sight of Leo's chest and arms. Bandages … encircled most of his body. His arms and legs where covered in them. The same as his chest but we have trouble bandaging the top and bottom part of our chest, because the bandages slip on our shells, so I could see a nasty row of stitches on his shoulder. We guessed the attacker had been a bear; we were just waiting for Raph to wake up … and confirm it.

Not that it would do much good for Leo if we "definitely" knew what had attacked him.

Looking back at his face, I saw the bandage that wrapped around his forehead, covering the claw marks on the back of his head. Taking a closer look at his facial expression, he looked … peaceful. That made me cry harder.

Peaceful because he no longer had to worry about me. Not worry about what I was going to do next. How I was going to treat him. What names I was going to call him. The evil looks I was going to shoot at him every chance I got.

And yet, he also looked … sad. Peaceful but sad. Sad because of how I treated him. It was my entire fault and yet, I got none of the blame, none of the pain. I heard from Don that he was running out of IV bags and he could not give Leo painkillers. When he woke up, he had nothing to combat the pain. And I was going to feel none of it.

My crying was getting louder and I did not want to wake anybody, so I buried my head in the blankets.

"My sorry" I murmured.

But what good would it do. The brother who had protected me all my life was lying in front of me, oblivious to all that was around him. How could I have caused all this?

"I didn't mean for this to happen!"

But the voice in my head answered. "But it did and you wanted it to happen!"

"NO!"

"YES! You were the one who told him you hated him and wanted him dead"

"I didn't mean it"

"What does it matter, it happened and you can do nothing about it!"

"Yes I can! I can change! I will change!"

"Why bother, he's not going to live … You'll get to see him die anyway"

I pushed my head further into the blankets, trying to block out the images of Leo dying in my arms, that which had been plaguing me. It did not help, in a way, it enhanced them.

I could ... feel him in my arms, the blood pooling around us. I balled my hands into fists, pulling pieces of blanket with them. The paleness of his dead face … so much like his now.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it. I promise to look after you now. Just please wake you, please, wake up. My sorry"

Sobbing into the blanket, I did not hear the person coming down the stairs, stop at the bottom and then come towards me. I only knew their presence when I felt someone put their hand on my shoulder. I spun around to face the person.

It was Raphael.

* * *

Raphael's P.O.V.

On my wobbly legs, I looked down at a distressed Mikey. Tears ran down his face but he made no move to stop them. Every now and then, he would let out a sob but we just continued to stare at one another.

Until my legs started to give way on me.

I swayed and would have fallen except Mikey was there to catch me. Gently, he guided me to the floor and propped me up against the couch Leo was lying on.

I guess I'm still not fully recovered.

I turned my head back to face Mikey. He had disappeared.

Tiredly, I leant my head back so it rested on the lounge. Casting my eyes upwards, I could just see Leo's sleeping form.

He didn't look to good.

"Don't worry" I tried to tell myself "He's strong, he'll make it"

Mikey then reappeared with blankets in his hand. He laid one over me, which I was thankful for, it was a bit cold. He then sat down next to me. Silence reigned, no words were spoken.

The tears had stopped running down Mikey's face but the occasional sniff would escape him. I was going to ask him about it when he beat me to the punch.

"How long have you been awake?"

I shifted under the blanket to get more comfortable.

"Not very long"

Mikey nodded, wrapping his blanket around him.

"We were getting worried"

I nodded again and we fell back into silence. I looked over at the calendar on the far wall but it gave no hints as to how long I had been asleep.

"Three days"

I turned back to Mikey.

"Huh?"

"You've been asleep for about three days"

"Three days" I thought to myself … and Leo still looked that bad, shouldn't he have at least regained some colour …

A sniff to my right brought my attention back to Mikey, he was still crying.

"Are you okay bro?"

Stupid question really when it was quite clear he was not. But he still nodded … like the fact his eyes were red and blotchy wouldn't give it away.

I tried again.

"Is it Leo?"

More tears welled in his eyes and filled them to the brim.

Another stupid question, of course it had to be Leo.

Before Leo … had the stroke, I would have probably told Mikey to grow some backbone and don't be stupid because of course Leo would be alright but now … I guess I've changed, the whole situation has changed us all.

"Don't worry Mikey, Leo'll pull through"

Tears are now again running down his face but they are a lot faster than before.

"It's all my fault" He croaked.

I blinked in surprise. What?

"It's all my fault" He said again.

Oh, he must think him being nasty to Leo caused this is happen and is now blaming himself.

I reached my hand out from under the blanket and grabbed him by the shoulder.

"No it isn't, its nobody fault"

Mikey starts shaking his head furiously.

"You don't understand"

What don't I understand?

"Look nobody meant for this to happen, it was an accident"

He then looks straight at me.

"I did"

I was now totally confused.

"What do you mean?"

Mikey then turned his gaze to Leo.

"I wanted this to happen Raph, I wanted it so badly … then it did and I caused it"

I grabbed his shoulder a little harder.

"You might have been angry at Leo and we have no clue as to why but he is your brother and we stick together. There is no way you would have really wanted something like this to happen to him Mikey. Anyway, it's not like you forced him to go out into the snow!"

But then Mikey turned back to look at me and … something in his eyes sent a shiver down my spine.

"Mikey?"

More than ever, tears poured from his eyes.

"I'm sorry Raph"

My breath caught in my throat.

"What?" I croaked.

I started to move away from him.

"Raph I'm so, so sorry! If I knew this was going to happen, I wouldn't have done it"

Memories flooded my vision. The bear, blood, running, Leo, the kitchen, somebody yelling at me, throwing up, Leo covered in blood, footprints in the snow…. foot prints in the snow at the barn. One set going, one set leaving.

"He went to see you in the barn"

It was more of a statement then a question.

Mikey nodded and started talking again but I could hear nothing. There was no way Leo would have run out into the forest alone, he hated being alone, and his behaviour wasn't impulsive, he had to think to do anything … only when he was scared did he become impulse. What had Mikey done?

My hands launched out from my blanket and grabbed him by the shoulders, spinning him around to fully face me.

"What did you do to him?" I growled.

Mikey is crying hysterically and wouldn't answer. So I shook him.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM!"

"I TOLD HIM I HATED HIM" Mikey yelled back "I TOLD HIM I HATED HIM AND WISHED HE WAS DEAD!"

Shocked, I dropped his arms from my iron grip I'd been holding on his shoulders. Mikey then brought his hands up to his face and buried it into them, tears leaking between the gaps in his fingers.

He told Leo that he hated him and wished he was dead. No wonder Mikey now felt guilty about what had happened. Rage was flickering in my stomach, HOW COULD HE, and yet, it was part my fault.

I should have known how Mikey would react, his big invincible brother changed for a lifetime after just a couple of weeks. Mikey still believed that all storied have a happy ending and he probably believed that Leo would wake up ... normal. And then he didn't and it probably tore Mikey to pieces.

He must have thought Leo abandoned us or something. Then with us ignoring him, it would have felt like he was the only person in the world. And it was all Leo's fault...

I shook myself out of my thoughts and looked back at Mikey, who is crying so hard, he is having trouble breathing.

Gently, I place one hand on his shoulder and the other; I cup his chin and lift his face up. At this his eyes go wide and he jerks his head out of my hands. He looked at me … like I was from a dream or a vision.

"Are you okay?"

Mikey nodded at me … but it looked like he was still seized by that ... vision.

I signed. It was cold, even with the fireplace alight. Grabbing our blankets that had fallen off us, I wrapped mine around myself and gave Mikey his. I decided I need to get Mikey to open up on everything; it would only fix part of his problem, the other part laid with Leo.

"Talk to me Mikey"

Mikey looked at me, probably unsure on what I meant. Whether I wanted him to spill the beans so I could find a way to punish him for what he had done, or as a friend. I was neither, I was here as a brother.

"Please Mikey"

With that request Mikey opened his floodgates of emotions and actions from when Leo woke up, to the event in the barn. Sitting, listening to Mikey talk, with the fire crackling away, Leo's shallow but steady breathing behind us, willing Mikey to go on and the snow being tossed around by an approaching storm, I felt amazed at how close you can come to losing your family, having it fall apart piece by piece.

And yet, there is nothing stronger then the bonds of family. I think we proved that because after weeks of fighting or ignoring each other, the rest of the family arose that morning to find Mikey and me asleep, leaning against the lounge Leo was sleeping on. Mikey was resting his head on my shoulder and I had my head resting on his. Later we were told that we both had never looked so peaceful.

Of course, when we did wake up, the family was not happy with me being out of bed so soon after surviving a near-death experience.

Splinter demanded I go back to bed and I was reluctant at first to leave Leo … yeah he was asleep and he had plenty of people watching him so … if he woke up, he wouldn't be alone … but I was still worried that … if he went … I wouldn't be there … Until I saw how much colour had returned to his face. During the few hours Mikey and I had been with him, he had started to heal!

Knowing that he was on the mend, I left him to go back to bed for I was still tired … but I knew he was in good hands.

Mikey hadn't left his side since we woke up. 


	9. Chapter 9

Summary: It all started out like any other day … until Leo collapses and suffers a seizure and a stroke. In the passing of a few minutes, their lives will be changed forever. They have faced many challenges in their lives but will this prove to be too much?

Disclaimer: I Own Nothing

* * *

_"Talk to me Mikey"_

_Mikey looked at me, probably unsure on what I meant. Whether I wanted him to spill the beans so I could find a way to punish him for what he had done, or as a friend. I was neither, I was here as a brother._

_"Please Mikey"_

_With that request Mikey opened his floodgates of emotions and actions from when Leo woke up, to the event in the barn. Sitting, listening to Mikey talk, with the fire crackling away, Leo's shallow but steady breathing behind us, willing Mikey to go on and the snow being tossed around by an approaching storm, I felt amazed at how close you can come to losing your family, having it fall apart piece by piece._

_And yet, there is nothing stronger then the bonds of family. I think we proved that because after weeks of fighting or ignoring each other, the rest of the family arose that morning to find Mikey and me asleep, leaning against the lounge Leo was sleeping on. Mikey was resting his head on my shoulder and I had my head resting on his. Later we were told that we both had never looked so peaceful._

_Of course, when we did wake up, the family was not happy with me being out of bed so soon after surviving a near-death experience._

_Splinter demanded I go back to bed and I was reluctant at first to leave Leo … yeah he was asleep and he had plenty of people watching him so … if he woke up, he wouldn't be alone … but I was still worried that … if he went … I wouldn't be there … Until I saw how much colour had returned to his face. During the few hours Mikey and I had been with him, he had started to heal!_

_Knowing that he was on the mend, I left him to go back to bed for I was still tired … but I knew he was in good hands._

_Mikey hadn't left his side since we woke up._

* * *

Donatello's P.O.V.

I feel like I am bashing my head against a brick wall … and yet the tone that it sets is highly harsh and it entitles that someone is causing my problems and I can't do anything about it. I take it as I am bashing my head against a brick wall because nothing I am doing is helping either side involved.

Basically, Leo has woken up.

Know don't get me wrong, I cannot begin to describe how good that is, how happy my family and I are. I am also relieved … I was down to my last IV bag and was beginning to panic.

Anyway, back to the events of today. Raph has managed to secure a bed all to his little self because he has caught a nasty cold from his adventures out in the snowbound forest. I am officially a genius because I knew he would catch one and I knew it would make his personality one hundred times worse than usual.

He has been a lot better since Leo had the stroke … but several things bring out the worst in him: Early mornings, Mikey's jokes, my cooking, Mikey's practical jokes, one of Leo's tantrums anytime before 10.30am, long practices, having to clean his room, missing a fight and getting a lecture from Le … used to getting lectures from … getting lectures. Oh and being sick with bed rest.

So early this morning was "keep a grumpy Raph happy and in bed". Next was my regular check-up on Leo. Going down to the lounge room, I found Mikey fast asleep, curled up in an armchair next to Leo. Ever since that night … and morning when we found both him and Raph asleep downstairs, Mikey seems to have returned to his … normal self. And Leo started getting better …

Anyway, Leo was still sleeping peacefully but I was getting worried about the IV bags. Mikey woke up while I was there and took his usual place next to Leo … kneeling on the floor, holding one of Leo's hands and talking to him. Not loud enough so everyone could hear but a quiet murmur.

So it was about mid-afternoon when we heard Mikey give a shout and everything went from there …

"GUYS!"

I jerked my head up from the broken toaster I'd been fixing on the kitchen table. That did not sound good.

"GUYS!"

That sounded worse. I dropped the toaster, further breaking it and ran into the lounge room. I was met by a frantic Mikey, who hadn't left Leo's side but looked scared nonetheless. Then I looked at Leo.

He was awake.

His eyes were open but something caught my attention at the corner of his eyes. He was crying.

Not sobbing but long rivers of tears of pain were running down his face. I still had not been able to give him any painkillers. Running along and down the breathing mask I had made, the tears were dripping onto the blankets that covered him.

Moving over to him, I placed my hand on his forehead, while trying to make soothing sounds. His eyes followed me but they were glassy from all the tears.

Hearing movement on the stairs, April came thundering down them, followed by a more graceful Master Splinter and Casey barged in from cutting wood outside … still holding the axe. And they all ran for the lounge.

"Hold it!" I yelled as I jumped in front of them and brought them to a halt. Protests flew my way but I over-powered them with a big "SHHHHH!" I think I surprised Master Splinter with my outburst … everyone else … and myself.

When they quietened down, I spoke.

"Look he's just woken up and you all know what happened last time everyone rushed him, it was a disaster"

I was referring back to when Leo first woke up from the stroke. I have a feeling it might not have gone as bad if there had only been a few of us in the room at the time … not the whole family. Anyway, guilty looks came from all involved.

I turned back and walked over to Leo, kneeling next to Mikey. Casting my eyes sideways, I saw looks of sadness on his face … and pain.

"Are you alright?" I said

Mikey, never taking his eyes off Leo distraught face, nodded.

"When he woke up, he gripped my hand … and I don't think we realize how much strength he still has"

I looked down at Mikey's hand and saw him clutching Leo's hand … or rather Leo clutching his.

I felt movement behind me as Master Splinter slowly made his way to Leo's head. He knelt next to me.

"Can I remove his breathing mask?" He asked

I nodded, I probably could have removed it a few days ago but I had thought it might help him.

After removing the mask, Master Splinter started stroking Leo's tear-stained face. I remember he used to do that to us when we were young and sick.

"My son, why does he cry?"

I took another look at Leo's face and sadness wells up in my chest.

"I haven't been able to give him any painkillers. Unconscious people won't swallow and I don't have the equipment to inject it … he is feeling all the pain from his wounds"

I heard Mikey sniff next to me but when I turned to him, there were no tears on his face. The sad expression was still on his face but then it turned to one of … puzzlement.

"What's he doing?"

I looked back to Leo. Tears were still streaming down his face but his eyes were moving. He seemed to be looking all around the room and the people in it. Like he was searching for something … or someone.

"He's looking for Raph" I said.

"Who's looking for me?" came a croaky voice from the stairs.

We all turned to find "he who was strictly told to stay in bed" up on his feet at the top of the stairs.

"You were supposed to be …"

"LEO!"

Sometimes I wonder why I bother because he wobbly came down the stairs and pushed past Casey and April. I can see why Leo used to get frustrated with him. Signing inwardly, but knowing what this meant to Raph, I moved back so Raph could have my place.

He dropped to his knees and placed a hand on Leo's chest, if the blankets had not covered it.

As if we were not there, he began talking to Leo.

"Hey bro, it's okay, I'm here"

Not taking his gaze from Leo, he asked me.

"Why is he crying?"

I again went on to explain about the painkiller problem and everything, all the while Raph was gently stroking Leo's plastron, careful of the stitches.

This motion seemed to calm Leo back into a sleepy trance. Personally, I was not too happy about Leo going back to sleep after waking from another rather large nap but I suppose until I sorted out the painkillers … it might be the best thing.

I'd finished talking and Leo seemed to have drifted off to sleep, when Raph turned away from Leo and started coughing.

I kicked myself, mentally. Raph might be doing wonders in calming Leo but he was still sick and if he passed it on to Leo; he would be in BIG trouble.

Master Splinter seemed to be thinking on the same lines because he put a hand on Raphs shoulder and said

"I think you should return to bed my son"

Raph nodded and still coughing, he began to rise.

But Leo, who was apparently asleep, shot his hand out from under the blankets and grabbed hold of Raphs arm, ripping the IV drip out with the sudden movement.

And he screamed.

Frantic shouts echoed as blood started to colour his arm bandages a dark red and blood ran from where the IV drip had been. The sudden movement must have reopened all of his wounds on his arms and pulled the stitches in his chest. Jumping forward, I tried to loosen Leo's grip on Raph but he was too strong.

"LEO LET GO!" I shouted

He frantically shook his head.

"NO GO, NO GO!"

No matter what I did, he would not let go. And the screaming continued. Master Splinter was trying to calm him by talking to him and rubbing his hand over his head but Leo just thrashed around, trying to get away. And yet, he still kept a firm grip on Raph.

Mikey then moved forward, to try and calm Leo or too help or do anything but the second Leo saw Mikey come closer, his eyes widened and he tried to back away. This just caused more reopening of wounds and his screams became louder.

"STOP MOVING MIKEY!" I yelled. I was getting frustrated; Leo had lost so much weight but still had the strength that I could not break.

Then I felt Raph turn, grab my hand and pulled it away.

"Leave it guys"

Looking at Raph, I could see the tiredness in his eyes and yet, he made me release my hand, not staining any of Leo's sore muscles, reached and grabbed Mikey's shoulder.

Mikey had a … strange look on his face. I think I heard Raph whisper.

"Don't worry, he'll come around"

Possibly a lost look. Anyway, Mikey nodded and moved away. Raph then turned to Master Splinter who bowed and also moved away.

Moving as close as possible to the couch, Raph dropped to his knees and brought his arms up onto the lounge. Moving the hand that was not held, he gently rubbed Leo's clutching hand, trying to get him to let go.

With Leo's arm on the top of the blankets, the blood from his bandages began to leave faint marks. I moved forward to change his bandages but startled Leo.

He jumped and grabbed hold of Raph harder.

"Just leave it Don!"

I could hear the frustration in his voice. I gulped.

"I have to change his bandages"

I heard Raph sign.

"He WONT let you near him"

"I still have to change them since no one else can" I pointed out.

Silence again. Nobody spoke. Casey and April still stood away from the couch, probably feeling like they were intruding.

"He might let you change the bandages, if Leo knows Raph is still with him … and isn't going anywhere"

Turning to Mikey, I can't help feeling that there is something I don't know. And I hate it. I am not knocking Mikey … but he went from a selfish, spoilt brat to the most helpful person in the world. And whatever it was the changed him … Raph was in on it.

"I feel Michelangelo may have a point"

We all turned back to Raph who was again rubbing Leo's hand but I think all the improvement that Raph had reached was destroyed when I moved.

Raph slightly turned his head to face me.

"Can he sit up?"

Sit up? For what purpose?

"Not on his own" I said

"But can he?"

What did this have to do with the price of fish?

" … I suppose but he would have to take care of the stitches, so they are not pulled.

Raph nodded.

"I'll need help"

A bit confused, I slowly stepped forward. Leo watched me warily, as if I was going to make Raph leave.

"Help me sit him up"

"… but why"

"Just do it!"

Okay, a not happy Raph is a not nice Raph.

Moving slowly, as not to again startle Leo, I moved to Raphs side.

"Hold his head"

I can't believe I'm taking orders from Raph!

I moved to the front of the lounge and cradled Leos head.

With Raphs free hand, and my help, he placed it behind Leo's head and started to sit him up.

A slight whimper escaped Leo's mouth and the tears increased but he never let go of his hold on Raph.

With Leo was sitting up, Raph moved so he was sitting behind him on the couch. Before fully sitting down, Raph bent over Leo and put his left arm out in front.

He whispered in his ear.

"It's okay, I'm not going anywhere"

Applying pressure to Leo's hand, he got him to switch arms, so he was now clutching Raphs left arm.

This meant Raph could slide down further onto the couch and not hurt Leo's arm more, or pull it in a funny direction.

Gently, he pulled Leo up so his head was resting on his chest. Knowing Raph would be there for a while, I propped him up with pillows behind his shell.

Leo seemed to relax now and loosen his grip on Raph. He laid his head back on Raphs chest and the steady beating of his heart soothed him into a light sleep.

Raph gave me a nod and I went to fetch new bandages. On coming back, I found Raph and Leo in the same position, April and Casey in the kitchen probably making some tea and Master Splinter and Mikey in the two vacant chairs.

Moving to the lounge, I found Leo to still be sleeping and Raph starting to nod off.

All through the checking and changing of Leo's bandages, Leo didn't wake from his sleep. A slight whimper here and there was the only sound and a move of discomfort but he must have felt safe enough with Raph there.

My job finished, I do not think Raph knew that the harder job was about to come.

Raph must have noticed my … new predicament because …

"What now?"

Boy, I love a sick Raph.

"He needs to eat something" I said

Huge sign from Raph, followed by a cough. This jolted Leo awake but he just resettled himself and went back to sleep.

"I guess its back to the old soup and broth" Mikey said.

Mikey and Raph had the same haunted look on their faces and Master Splinter for all his formulary wasn't looking much better. We all learnt to hate the liquid diet we had to endure.

"Yes but not for as long as last time"

Relieved signs from all … except Leo who should have been complaining the loudest.

"My son to counter the pain and to … help Leonardo rest and heal, I could possibly add something?"

Why was Master Splinter asking me? Oh, that's right, I'm the only medic. Still he is the "Master"

"Yeah I suppose … that would be better then dissolving tablets in his broth"

Master Splinter nodded.

"Then I shall take care of his dinner?"

I nod. Why is everyone asking me for orders!

"I'll help"

I see Mikey and Raph grimace. Okay, okay I know I am a bad cook but they don't have to spell it out like that.

Master Splinter and I leave the lounge room for the kitchen to prepare "a feast" for one person, who won't actually realize he is being drugged but all that aside, it is a start.

* * *

Raphael's P.O.V.

I HATE people who fuss and Donny is the biggest fusspot ever … Leo used to be but … yeah anyway.

Speaking of Leo, he is currently happily asleep on my chest … hope he doesn't drool. I can't believe how … brotherly I have become.

Before, I would have NEVER thought of resting Leo on my chest so Don could get to him and yet now, it seemed like the only thing to do.

Anyway, back to the fusspot. All I hear is …

"Stay in bed Raph. Don't get up Raph. Haven't I told you Raph blah blah blah". He really sounds like Leo sometimes … used to.

Anyway, I'm not sick. I have a slight cough, a headache and at times a temperature but I'm not going to drop dead if I get out of bed!

Seriously, the guy is like Leo … like he used to b… was … Oh whatever. LIKE. LEO. WAS. I've come to terms with Leo being … different. I came to terms with it a while ago but knowing that he isn't going to come back and that it doesn't matter how much I care for him, look after him, he isn't going to change, that was harder to accept.

I have accepted it but … I find it hard talking about … how Leo "used to be". It has got to the stage where I sometimes forget that Leo was … different. I think saying "normal" is an insult because Leo is normal now … in his own special way. I know when we go back to the lair, being home will present new challenges … and memories but … Leo is still Leo.

It doesn't matter what has happened to the body … the soul is still there.

A sudden urge to cough comes over me and I give into it. The jolting of my chest gets a moan out of Leo as I surely jolt his wounds but it is over quickly.

Just as Don and Master Splinter return.

Don is carrying a bowl of the dreaded broth, I know what we are having for dinner for the next couple of days, and Master Splinter has a cup in his hands. I guess they decided to not mix the two.

Oh, this would be fun!

"Okay, how are we going to do this?"

Good question Don but I already know the answer.

"Mikey can do it" I said

Mikeys head shot up.

"What?"

"Mikey can feed Leo"

Mikey was giving me a pleading look, not to make him. Well, if he wanted to get on better terms with Leo, feeding him was a good place to start.

"Go on Don, give him the bowl"

Don must have known that something is up with Mikey and that he was on the outside of the loop because he hesitantly gave him the bowl.

Now I had to wake Leo … without pulling stitching, newly applied bandages, sore muscles and anything else that might hurt him. I reached forward with my right arm, grabbed his hand and gave it several squeezes. It was the only wake-up method that I could think of.

Leo sleepily opened his eyes.

"Wakey, wakey Leo"

Funny enough, Leo let out a big yawn and then settled back down to sleep.

"No, no not bed time yet. Come on, stay awake"

I think he was only half-aware of what I was saying and his surroundings … until Mikey moved forward with the bowl.

He immediately tensed … and strained muscles. He cried out. Yep we definitely need those painkillers. But food first.

"Hey, hey calm down its only Mikey" I whispered in his ear.

He whimpered and Mikey looked about to turn tail ... shell and run. Good start.

I beckoned to Mikey as I whispered in Leo's ear on how Mikey wasn't going to hurt him, everything was okay …

Mikey sat on the edge of the lounge, near Leo's plastron. Leo, I think, went to recoil but I held him firm.

Giving Mikey a nod, he dipped the spoon in the broth and held it out to Leo.

Nothing happened.

I could see, out of the corner of my eye, that Leo was watching Mikey warily … but was also, if possible, giving the broth the evils.

So he doesn't like his liquid diet either. Suppose since he was the one who had to have it the most and really couldn't voice a complaint, he had fully right to glare at the bowl.

Just not when we are trying to feed him!

We had to find common ground and I had another idea!

"Mikey have some"

Mikey looked at me.

"Huh?"

"Have some of the broth"

What else would have I meant.

Now it was Mikeys turn to give the broth a disapproving look.

"Do I have tooo?"

Yep, whining Mikey was back to normal.

"Just do it!"

He reluctantly brought the spoon to his mouth, emptied the contents, swallowed and grimaced.

Now it was Leo's turned.

"Try it now"

With Don and Master Splinter intently watching on, Mikey dipped the spoon in the broth and held it up to Leo's mouth.

Moments passed and I was about to say, "Give it a miss" and maybe I should have a crack at it, when Leo opened his mouth and drank the soup. He didn't seem to appreciate the taste either. Common ground reached!

A grin broke out on my face.

Mikey dipped the spoon back in the broth and held it up to Leo again … and he drank it.

Mikey was feeding Leo!

Mikey was absolutely glowing with pride and … happiness. Looking over at Don and Splinter, they had a mirrored expression of joy.

Mikey continued to feed Leo until the bowl was empty and only the dregs were left. Amazingly, not one drop was spilt and I swear towards the end Leo was slightly leaning in to get the broth.

Master Splinter steeped forward and placed a hand on Mikeys shoulder.

"You did well my son"

Well I think Mikey might have floated away in happiness. From what he had told me a few days ago, that would be one of the first times that Master Splinter had spoken to him since the barn and it had been a compliment.

Master Splinter then held out the cup, which Mikey eagerly took, but I voiced my objections.

"You better not"

Mikey lost some of his happiness.

I explained.

"If you give Leo a drugged cup, you will lose all the brownie points you just gained. You better let me give it to him"

Mikey must have seen reason and he handed it over to me.

I sat up more, so I could easily get to Leo.

But when I raised the cup to his lips, he would not drink it. And he had a sad look on his face ... maybe a hurt one too. But this wasn't like a Mikey and Leo problem.

Leo knew what was in the cup.

I knew that Leo knew and that's why I wouldn't let Mikey give it to him. Leo hated being drugged, anyone would, and just because he had a stroke, that doesn't mean the feeling would change.

I knew what I had to do and frankly, it would probably help me to.

I raised the cup to my lips, took a sip and made sure Leo saw me swallow.

Then I held it back up to him. He looked at me.

"Come on bro" I said.

He then drank the cup, all of it. Immediately afterwards, his eyes started to drop.

I leant backwards, settled him and made sure he was comfortable. Soon enough, he was asleep.

Sitting there, I felt the drug work its way with me.

As my eyes started to drop and I gave into sleep, I saw Master Splinter cover us both up with a blanket. 


	10. Chapter 10

Summary: It all started out like any other day … until Leo collapses and suffers a seizure and a stroke. In the passing of a few minutes, their lives will be changed forever. They have faced many challenges in their lives but will this prove to be too much?

Disclaimer: I Own Nothing

* * *

_"You better not"_

_Mikey lost some of his happiness._

_I explained._

_"If you give Leo a drugged cup, you will lose all the brownie points you just gained. You better let me give it to him"_

_Mikey must have seen reason and he handed it over to me._

_I sat up more, so I could easily get to Leo._

_But when I raised the cup to his lips, he would not drink it. And he had a sad look on his face ... maybe a hurt one too. But this wasn't like a Mikey and Leo problem._

_Leo knew what was in the cup._

_I knew that Leo knew and that's why I wouldn't let Mikey give it to him. Leo hated being drugged, anyone would, and just because he had a stroke, that doesn't mean the feeling would change._

_I knew what I had to do and frankly, it would probably help me to._

_I raised the cup to my lips, took a sip and made sure Leo saw me swallow._

_Then I held it back up to him. He looked at me._

_"Come on bro" I said._

_He then drank the cup, all of it. Immediately afterwards, his eyes started to drop._

_I leant backwards, settled him and made sure he was comfortable. Soon enough, he was asleep._

_Sitting there, I felt the drug work its way with me._

_As my eyes started to drop and I gave into sleep, I saw Master Splinter cover us both up with a blanket._

* * *

Michelangelo's P.O.V.

A while ago, Don and I shifted Raph back up to his/mine and Dons room. He was still fast asleep but he could not have been very comfortable and he started to cough in his sleep, which was disturbing Leo.

I am sitting with Leo. He is not going to wake up until tomorrow … late tomorrow. I thought it was a bit weird that Leo finally wakes … then we drug him back into sleep. I asked Donny but he said it would help him with the pain and he should heal quicker.

AND THEN he went on to ramble about something like "When Leo was first unconscious we had no control over his sleep patterns" … " he might have never woken up" … " we controlled the dosage" … " we have a better chance of him recovering" … "it's a drug-induced sleep not an injury one"

It went on and on … and on … and on … and … you get the point. If I had not have had a rather large number of black marks against my name, I would have walked away when I first sensed Don was going to expel ALL he knew on the topic. However, as I said, because of my … behaviour of late, I felt it was my duty to stand and listen.

Anyway, he EVENTUALLY finished and I took my place next to Leo and I've been there since.

He looks peaceful, nothing like he should be looking after the events of today … ripping out IV drips and tearing open stitches. Apart from that, you cannot really say the events of today went … horribly wrong. Leo is healing, on the mend, in a "controlled sleep", he must feel protected, he certainly looks peaceful … all through the knowledge that Raph was there. I suppose credit goes to Master Splinter and Donny for also being there … watching over him.

And then there was me … the cause of all his problems.

I let out a huge sigh.

I feel like such a downer … I'm a happy-go-lucky kind of person and the depressed road I have just taken myself down has left me emotionally drained … and now the guilt trip is killing me.

Not that I don't deserve it.

Telling Raph took a huge chunk of guilt off my shoulders but … still a large portion lies with Leo and the rest of the family, who know nothing.

I wish just telling Raph would have made all this better and all my problems would just disappear but … life's not like that.

Also the thing is, I can tell the "family" and there is two possibilities:

a) They will yell, scream and kill me.

b) They will yell, scream and be so disappointed in me that I will want to kill myself, but I will still be alive.

Then on to the problem of "telling Leo"

Which I cannot … because he would not understand. All he knows is that he did something "wrong", I turned into evil Mikey and he got hurt.

It's not like I will be able to sit him down and say "I'm sorry, can we be friends?"

I bury my head in the blankets covering Leo's sleeping form, "controlled" mind you.

It was going to be a long, hard road … but you know what, he was worth it.

And I wasn't going to miss a second of it.

This explains why Master Splinter found me asleep, leaning on the couch and oblivious to his presence.

"Michelangelo"

Groggily, I lifted my head, someone was shaking my shoulder … I think.

"Wha …"

I hate the limbo mode between awareness and sleep … or is it sleep and awareness …

"Michelangelo"

Funny that sounded like Splinter …

"Michelangelo!"

Turning, I found him standing over me.

"M …"

I was going to say Master Splinter but he is not technically my master … I suppose he is no longer my sensei … we never called him Splinter to his face … and we never really called him dad.

I was saved from deciding what to call him, when he spoke.

"Are you fully awake, my son?"

Was I really that bad that you had to ask whether I was awake?

Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I answered.

"I think so"

Then I let out a big yawn.

Only then did it strike me that this was the first real time Master Splinter had talked to me since exiling me from the ninja clan. I woke up quickly after that.

With my full attention, I faced him.

Seemingly satisfied that I was indeed awake, Master Splinter beckoned for me to come with him into the kitchen.

I reluctantly followed. I did not want to leave Leo alone and I was a bit worried as to what was going to happen.

Entering the kitchen, he motioned for me to take a seat while he made some tea. Ironically, I took the same seat that I had when Raph carried Leo into the kitchen …

Finished making the tea, he took the seat across from me. I felt like I was on trial.

After taking a few sips of his drink, Master Splinter set down the cup and went to speak.

I held my breath.

"I've been watching your progress over the last few days and I feel you have made some significant changes."

Big exhale of breath, he was not banishing me completely … or banning me from pizza.

"Thou I still feel you have some way to go, I do not see why you should be denied the right to train, learn the ways of nin jitsu and fight beside your brothers"

Could he possibly be meaning what I think he is?

"Yes you strayed from the path for awhile but … from time to time … things beyond your control happen and you cannot always blame one as young as you for what fate has thrown at them and their actions"

I better not be dreaming!

Master Splinter then looked straight into my eyes and again, I held my breath.

"That is why I feel you should rejoin your brothers … and I believe this is yours"

Master Splinter then pulled out, from his kimono, my bandana. He must have spent hours stitching the two pieces back together because there was no evidence that the bandana had ever not been … whole.

He laid it out in front of me on the table.

My hands were trembling … I so wanted to pick it up, cradle it like a baby because it meant more to me then I had ever realized before. What it meant, the responsibility that its bearer carried … and there it was in front of me ... but …

I lowered my hands and shook my head.

'I don't deserve it" I said.

Master Splinter looked confused.

'What do you mean my son? Yes, you strayed for a while but you are fast making up for your wrongs and I believe you have realized the errors of your actions. You have changed my son."

How much easier it would be for me just to accept my bandana … to take it back and most of my problems would be fixed.

I looked up at Master Splinter. I felt … ashamed at all the things I had thought and called him, after all he had done for my brothers and me. He didn't have to be our father and I had taken that for granted.

He was still looking at me with confusion … but I saw pride in his eyes. He was proud of me "changing".

"You have realize the errors of your actions …You have changed my son."

I have changed Master Splinter … more then you know.

"You don't understand" I said.

He went to respond but I interrupted.

"Can you wait here for a second?"

He looked me over for a few seconds and then gave a short nod.

I bowed my head in thanks. Leaving the kitchen, I found Donny had taken my place beside Leo. I went over and asked if he could go into the kitchen and that I had something to say. He gave me a curious look but went all the same.

I then went and found Casey and April, one out chopping wood and the other trying to give helpful tips. After April put the axe down, I asked them if they would join us in the kitchen.

More curious looks but they came.

Once we were all seated in the kitchen, I looked around at everyone and wondered where to begin. Not knowing how to start, I began with the obvious.

"I have something to tell you all"

And then, I spilled all. I told them all that I had told Raph, which was everything. All that I had done, my reasons, which were no excuse, but I still had to tell them. No one talked but comforting sounds or gestures now and then helped me go on. Master Splinter made no move or any kind of facial expression during the whole story.

Hours later, I am sitting next to Raphs sleeping form. I think he needed a really good sleep because he did not drink "that" much of the drugged drink and yet he was still asleep.

After finishing my story, I felt I better give everyone a bit of space, so I came up here. They had … a lot to digest.

I heard movement on the stairs and Donny appears at the door. He looks like he wants to come in but … doesn't know if he should.

I motion for him to take the seat next to me and he does.

I don't know what to say to him. He could hate me for all I know …

"I'm sorry Mikey"

I turned to face him. He's apologizing … and hanging his head. I'm the one who should be ashamed and still apologizing.

"I'm sorry for not paying attention to the reasons to your actions" he said "I just thought you had a grudge against Leo because … he was receiving more attention then you were"

My cheeks are reddening; this is embarrassing … because it is slightly true.

I shook my head.

"Don't be sorry, all that happened was my fault and if I hadn't acted like a spoilt brat … Leo might not be lying on the lounge downstairs at the moment."

It was Don's turn to shake his head.

"That doesn't give us the right to ignore you, so it is not all your fault"

I turned back to looking at Raph.

'Deep down, I didn't want any of this to happen. I just felt … abandoned, as if Leo just decided to go and dump us. I … I just couldn't see that it wasn't his fault and that he was hurting as much as the rest of us"

I can feel tears prickling at the corners of my eyes. Turning to Don, I can see his eyes have the same glassy look.

"I don't hate him" I whispered, "I never really did"

Donny then pulled me into a hug. I have cried so much lately that I don't know how I still have tears to cry. But they still fell, except this time, instead of crying for the "harshness of the world and what it does to you", I cried because I felt some of the heavy weight lifting off my shoulders.

I had made peace with April, Casey, Don and in some ways, with myself … that just left Master Splinter and Leo.

Raising my head from Don's shoulder, I saw Master Splinter standing in the doorway.

Don must have felt me tense because he broke our embrace. I quickly wiped the tears from my eyes, as Don turned and saw Splinter. Turning back to me, gave me a reassuring smile and left the room, bowing to Splinter on the way out.

Not knowing what to do, I just sat in the chair, my fingers interlocked and my head bowed.

I sensed Splinter move and when he spoke, it was from Don's vacant chair.

'Michelangelo?"

I slowly lifted my head and looked into his disappointed eyes.

'I think I now understand my son"

Guilt painfully round it way around my stomach but I was used to it by now.

"And in so understanding, you know why I cannot give you back your bandana"

I nodded.

"But why Michelangelo? Did you not know you could have talked to one of your brothers … Casey, April … or me?"

I couldn't look in his eyes any longer, they looked too hurt, betrayed. So I again lowered my head.

"I felt like I was all alone" I managed to say" I felt like I was all alone and nobody cared"

Master Splinter leant forwards.

'Haven't I always told you that you are never alone. That you will always have each other … and me. That we have no one else but each other and we will always have that. You are never alone my son"

I am trying to stop crying and in trying to blink back tears and not sob, I found it hard to answer.

"But I felt like Leo left us … abandoned us … and I can't even remember the last thing I said to him before he collapsed. It was probably something stupid or I was teasing him. It wasn't until he was gone that I realized what Leo … did for us. Then he woke up and we had to all look after him because he couldn't and … and … I began to …"

"Resent him, my son"

Sniffling, I nodded.

"And then I started doing my best to hurt him … or make him look stupid and now look what happened to him …"

Remembering my haunting nightmare, I added …

"He protected me for fifteen years and I threw it all in his face. Now he hates me for it.

Master Splinter drew even closer.

"Leonardo doesn't hate you … he doesn't understand the concept of hate"

I looked straight at Master Splinter.

" … I hate myself" I said.

"Oh Michelangelo"

Then he did something that he hasn't done since we were little and I now thought was downright impossible. He pulled me into his lap as if I was a little child … turtle.

It was a little uncomfortable; seeming I had definitely grown but it still had the same reassuring effect it had all those years ago. That everything was going to be all right and I had nothing to worry about.

Eventually, Master Splinter gave me a kiss on the forehead and we broke our embrace.

He wiped a few of my stray tears away and held my head in his hands.

"Don't hate yourself Michelangelo. You made a mistake, you learnt from it and there is no way to go but forwards … Leonardo will forgive you, just give him time and a chance. In time, you will be as close to Leonardo, as him and Raphael are. Just give it time."

He patted my cheeks and rose.

"Thank you" I said

Smiling, he put his hands into his kimono and brought something out. He then placed a white bandana into my hands.

Looking at the bandana in my hands, I heard Master Splinter say.

"White signifies a new beginning and thou I feel you are still not ready to return to being a fully fledged member of our ninja clan, you have shown some qualities that are rare and blessed where they are found. To not take the easy way out because you will just cheat yourself. Someday, you will again take your place beside your brothers" Then he leant in close and whispered "Just give it time"

I wrapped my new bandana around my head and enjoyed the feeling of material against my head. How much I had missed that!

The look of pure happiness must have spoken volumes. I went to again say "Thank you" but Master Splinter waved it away.

He rose to leave the room but before reaching the door, he turned his head back so he could see me out of the corner of his eye.

"When your brothers have finished congratulating you, please tell them we are having a … special meal in the kitchen to celebrate Leonardo's awakening and your rejoining of our clan. BUT seeming they have heard the REST of the conversation, I don't think you will have to worry"

Confused at what he meant, I watched him leave the room, only to see an embarrassed Don stick his head out from around the corner of the door. My mouth fell open. Don Had Been Ears-Dropping!

Hearing movement next to me, I turned to find Raph had "amazing" just woken up from his sleep. I swear you have no privacy in this house!

I tried to put on a serious face and glare at the both of them but the expression of sheepishness at being caught was classical. The times you don't have a camera!

"Welcome back bro"

I smiled at Raph in thanks.

"White don't suit you thou"

Should have known that would be the next think out of Raph's mouth.

"Can you imagine how hard that will be to keep clean" Don said, joining us.

"Its probably part of getting it back … that I have to take special care of it" I said "But it's worth it"

We sat in silence until I couldn't hold back any longer.

"So did you really hear the whole conversation?"

Sheepish look from Don and a sly smile from Raph.

'I can't believe you's" I laughed

"Hey, nobody said we couldn't!" Raph said

"Nobody said you could!" I retorted but this was more in jest.

"Hey we've got to stay up-to-date with the goss" Don said "Anyway, it's a free world"

"Fine I'll tell Leo"

All merriment gone, down-turned faces and sad expressions. That's what I had always said to Raph or Don … before Leo had the stroke but now … it didn't quite fit. Sometimes you forget what had happened but we could not always go on like this … turning away from the subject and today seemed like a good day to move on.

"Actually" I said "If he had the chance he probably would have been the first one up here listening in"

That got a small smile from Don and a snort from Raph.

Then Dons face brightened up.

"Actually since he's in bed, we would probably have to CARRY him up the stairs"

My turn to snort. Even in my depressed state, the idea of Leo getting Don and Raph to carry him continually up and down the stairs long after he could have walked them himself, was quite funny.

Then Raph turned serious.

"How is he?"

"We can go and see him now if you want," I said "remember HEARING about a 'special meal' … and I'm hungry"

"You're always hungry" said Raph, as Don and I helped him out of bed.

"I know" I replied.

The three of us made our way down to the kitchen, dropping Raph off by the lounge so he could check on Leo. While he was there, we all went into the kitchen and brought the "special meal" a.k.a homemade pizza, out and we ate it around Leo's sleeping form. Far into the night, we swapped stories, laughed, played games, watched t.v. and just had a good time.

I'm glad this family is finally on the mend. 


	11. Chapter 11

Summary: It all started out like any other day … until Leo collapses and suffers a seizure and a stroke. In the passing of a few minutes, their lives will be changed forever. They have faced many challenges in their lives but will this prove to be too much?

Disclaimer: I Own Nothing

* * *

_"How is he?"_

_"We can go and see him now if you want," I said "remember HEARING about a 'special meal' … and I'm hungry"_

_"You're always hungry" said Raph, as Don and I helped him out of bed._

"_I know" I replied._

_The three of us made our way down to the kitchen, dropping Raph off by the lounge so he could check on Leo. While he was there, we all went into the kitchen and brought the "special meal" a.k.a homemade pizza, out and we ate it around Leo's sleeping form. Far into the night, we swapped stories, laughed, played games, watched t.v. and just had a good time._

_I'm glad this family is finally on the mend._

**

* * *

Donatello's Logbook**

**3 months, 1 week since Leo's collapse**

I have not written in this logbook for so long that I, in a way, wondered whether to keep it going but … it has become a sort of journal of our family. All that has happened is contained within these pages, so that thought helped me to continue.

The last entry dealt with Leo awakening and Mikey rejoining the clan but I am afraid that after that, things got so … hectic, that there was little time to eat, sleep and least of all write in this logbook/journal.

Summing everything up before going into detail, Leo got very sick, very quickly.

But I must say that the animal instinct to survive runs very strong in our family because just our care didn't help Leo, he must have wanted to survive, to live.

I am unsure of the date but a few days after Leo awoke, he started having nightmares. I don't think Leo exactly knew what they were about but we think they were about the Shredder and the time where he nearly killed him.

We were unaware that Leo still had nightmares about that incident.

Anyway, during the course of the nightmare, he began to sweat. We paid little attention, apart from wiping it off him with a towel, until Mikey realized he had a temperature.

Thinking all the blankets on Leo were "cooking" him, we removed them and his temperature went down.

Sure the problem was solved and seeming it was late at night, we all took our leave and I stayed in the lounge room, as one of us always bunks down with him at night.

But in the early hours of the morning, I was awakened to Leo gasping for air and his skin being nearly too-hot-to-touch.

He had a high fever and his airways had constricted. He had soaked the blankets and bandages through with sweating and the salt from his body was getting in his wounds.

I think many factors contributed to Leo falling sick, including him being carried injured, through a snow-bound forest in a wet blanket but Raph took it the hardest. He felt it was his fault. So he was driving himself to exhaustion helping to take care of Leo … until it caused him to rebound.

So we were two turtles down, one with an incredibly high temperature, sweating, having trouble breathing, shaking, having nightmares and this is not including all the other injuries Leo had. Then Raph had a terrible case of the flu, dehydration, sweating, shaking, aching all over, vomiting and coughing for hours on end.

The worst night … by far was when Leo's nightmares reached their peak and he started to hallucinate. He would have his eyes wide open and be screaming for help. It was scary and … heartrenching for there was nothing we could do.

Then Raph was trying to get to him but was too weak to move, let alone get down the stairs.

This is where Mikey proved to be … a saviour. How can you explain? We had a screaming Leo, a sick and heavily distressed Raph, a family at the end of their tether and yet, he held it together.

I don't know how he did it but he figured that to help Raph, we'd need to calm Leo and Leo was the biggest problem at the moment.

So he sat with Leo for days on end, rarely leaving his side, and comforted him. When he was hot, he soak him down, when he'd start to hallucinate, Mikey would hold his hand and talk to him, trying to bring him back to reality, when Leo would cry, he would be there for Leo to cry on and when Leo was asleep, Mikey was right beside him for when he woke up screaming.

Of course, we didn't just dump Mikey with Leo and go on a holiday, we all took turns sitting with him and Leo but quite a substantial amount of our time was with Raph. We didn't have to worry about Leo as much.

Eventually the hallucinations slowed down and then stopped, the shaking ceased and his fever went down. About the same time, Raph shook off the worst of the flu and was able to join us downstairs for short periods of time.

Days later, Raph was fully functional and Leo wasn't far behind. Still weak and not able to walk, he relied on the rest of us for the most simple of tasks.

But Mikey's hard work at caring for Leo seemed to have "paid off" because Leo was now no more afraid of Mikey then of me or Raph … and he wouldn't let anyone else feed him. Even Raph couldn't get him to eat a single spoonful, NO it had to be "Mikes". Leo was still stumbling with "Mikey" and "Michelangelo" is too long for everyday use, so Mikey has been renamed to Leo, "Mikes".

At the time of this entry, Leo is up and hobbling around the house. This afternoon, I'm going to track him down and try to AGAIN remove his stitches. He's healing and I think he will do better without them.

Winter has thrown all it can at us and the season is changing. The days are getting warmer, the snow is melting and soon we will have to return home, back to the lair.

I think April and Casey are eager to return, April's store will have been closed for a very long time and I think she is ready to return. I think we all actually want to go home … I want to … I miss the privacy of my room and not having to share my BED!

But my idea has paid off because … we have survived the winter!

**3 months, 3 weeks and 3 days since Leo collapsed**

Well Leo has made a full recovery. He is now fully mobile and apart from slight pains in his chest now and then and headaches, all his wounds have fully healed.

But I must say, he has an impressive collection of scars, mainly on his arms and a thin stark white one across his chest where the worst wound was. Eventually, they will fade away into his skin, just like the rest of our scars. You can only see them if you know they are there.

But they don't seem to bother Leo … who now proudly states that he is the winner of the "Biggest Scar" competition. There really was no competition, seeming he is the only one to be attacked by a bear … but it kept him busy for a while.

Not that Leo has much free time. Between practices, which has again begun -he is still not allowed to participate in weapons practice, his afternoon naps, watching "Wheel of Fortune" with me to help him to think, remember and solve problems, his walks with Raph to strengthen his muscles, reading comics with Mikey to teach him to read again and meditation lessons with Master Splinter, everyone is usually in bed by 8.30pm-9.00pm.

Casey and April help out where they can … but sadly, I think fifteen years of being afraid and wary of humans beats a short time of only knowing two. Leo is … incredibly wary around them. Nothing major … just he won't be in the same room alone with one or two of them and he won't let them get close to him … stuff like that.

It's sad … and hard on Casey and April because we thought Leo was "okay" with them being around but … we never left him alone with them. I still remember the screams when I left Leo alone with Casey in the kitchen for two seconds … Leo was very clingy for awhile after that.

**4 months since Leo collapsed.**

Isn't time flying past us! Nearly four months since Leo collapsed … it feels like only yesterday.

A few days ago, Mikey got a brainwave. If Leo spent more time with Casey and April, with one of us there, he might gain more confidence in them.

SO … Leo's already jam-packed day is now having to accommodate "Casey and April" time. But it seems to be working … slowly … only time will tell.

**4 months, 3 days since Leo collapsed.**

Bad news in this entry. Leo took a bad fall yesterday for an unknown reason but before he did fall … he groaned and clutched his head. Raph said he then "fell" down the porch stairs but … from what Raph described, I think he … collapsed.

Raph said he had stepped off the last step, onto the ground, turned back to help Leo and found him clutching his head. Leo then groaned, his legs buckled and he tumbled down the stairs. I hate to think what would have happened if he had of fallen down the main staircase.

Any, Raph tried to catch him but failed and Leo landed on the ground. By now Raph was screaming for us, probably panicking over the similarities between Leo's first seizure and this sudden turn of events.

Of course, the rest of the family hurried to Raph's aid. I must say, when I first saw Leo limp in Raph's arms, I … I felt like I'd stepped into an icy cold shower.

But throwing off the fear, I ran to his side.

I began to check Leo's pulse, airways, his breathing, for a temperature/fever, bumps, bruises, injuries or anything.

"What happened Donny?" Raph said shakily, fear evident.

I could no answer to explain Leo's … problem. He seemed to have just collapsed and passed out … for no reason.

"I don't know" I answered.

We decided we needed to shift Leo and Raph, cradling him like he was a baby, picked Leo up and took him inside.

Several painful and worrying hours later, Leo groggily woke up. His eyes were rolling a little, he seemed to have little control over his face because he was drooling and he was trying to say something but couldn't manage.

This immensely worried me more than anything else and he fell back into a fitful sleep shortly after.

**4 months, 1 week since Leo's collapsed.**

Leo has recovered from his … episode. We still don't know what caused it but I've found some similarities between this episode … and the first one … In both, Leo was very busy in both.

With the first one, he was under a lot of stress, recovering from an injury and he wasn't getting much sleep. This time, Leo had been very busy with his lessons which … we have been pushing him with, he has just recovered from a traumatic incident but he has been getting adequate sleep.

So, after a big discussion, we limited Leo's … lessons, so they will not be more taxing.

There is no way we can take him away from practice, so that stayed, learning to trust Casey and April again is still a priority but Raphs walks, Mikeys comics and my "Game Show time" has been changed.

We decided that it would be of no point in Leo learning to read and write again, if he couldn't remember and recall. So, my "Game Show" hour stayed in the timetable, Mikey and Leo will read comic books and work with the flashcards, which Mikey has taken charge of, every second day. Every third day, in the free time, Master Splinter and Leo will have a meditation lesson. Depending on how taxing practice is, depends on whether Raph and Leo go for a walk, the duration and length of their walk.

BUT at anytime, if Leo seems tired, rundown or not "with it", everything is dropped and he rests. The timetable is very flexible and can be changed or dropped at any given moment.

**4 months, 1 week and 4 days since Leo collapsed.**

Well the new timetable is working beautifully; Leo has had no relapse and the family has had no need to once again be thrown into panic.

The weather is so nice now … nice sunny weather with no bitter cold snow. I could live up here forever … but home is calling. We can all feel it.

I think we might wait one more week and then we will be on our way.

**4 months, 2 weeks and 2 days since Leo collapsed.**

Since we only have one car, it was decided that April, Mikey and Master Splinter, with Casey driving, would journey home today, back to the city. I think April is anxious to get back to her shop and Master Splinter thought it would be better if he and one other went back to the lair, to make sure it was still liveable. It was also to install some … precautions for Leo's safety. Stuff like locks on the sewer and Utron door, so he couldn't wander off.

We also decided Leo's new room would be my old subway cart, so he didn't have to climb the stairs. We also didn't run the risk of him falling off the 2nd story or down the stairs. That is also why the stairs needed a kind-of barricade.

Anyway, April, Mikey, Casey and Master Splinter left early this morning but … this presented problems with Leo. We explained to Leo that they were going home and we would rejoin them in a few days. But when it came time for them to go, Leo was torn between wanting to go and wanting to stay.

Of course, he started to panic and wouldn't let go of Mikey. Time was going by and he still wouldn't let go.

So Mikey, in all his wisdom, gave Leo his new bandana and said

"I'll be okay and I'll see you again really soon but I want you to keep this safe for me"

Leo KNEW the bandana was special and so was the promise, so he let Mikey go. Mikey gave Leo a quick hug and then they all drove off. The bandana never let Leo's side after that.

**4 months, 2 weeks and 3 days since Leo collapsed.**

After Casey returned with the BattleShell, I began to make improvements. For instance, the bed was not needed anymore, so I dismantled that, and replaced the chairs. Casey also had a … slight accident. "Supposedly", while drooling over this brand new, rare, super wonderful motorcycle, he failed to notice the car in front had stopped. Nothing to serious, nobody injured, a bit of paint off the side and a small dent but the black eye Casey received from the lady he hit, sort of made up for the damage. BUT I am glad we don't have a number plate.

Anyway, we're leaving tomorrow … late tomorrow. Raph and I decided we should … tire Leo out in the morning and hopefully … he will sleep for most of the journey back home.

I hope it works …

* * *

Raphael's P.O.V.

Quite often I watch Leo sleep and he never fails to amaze me that he can look so … peaceful or content with the world. He also looks no different to before he had the stroke and that sometimes can be a bit ... weird.

Don said that we had to wear Leo out and wear him out we did, he's slept for the WHOLE journey. He was even nodding off as we got him into the Battle Shell.

I can't say that I'm not tired because it would be a HUGE lie … I'm absolutely worn out and Don has fallen asleep up front. I must say I would like to go to sleep but … I can't.

Why … because Leo keeps having nightmares.

He'll be sleeping peacefully one moment … and then the next he'll be moaning and thrashing around. Sometimes he'll wake up calling for me or Mikey or sometimes Donny or Master Splinter but I wonder for how long before the seizure did Leo have nightmares. I also wonder how we never knew about them or why he never told us.

But that was Leo and … I don't think any of us would have … listened or paid too much attention.

"… no … no don't … "

Looking up, I see another nightmare has started. I move closer.

"… no, please … leave them alone … "

I cringe. Leo NEVER has nightmares where he is in "danger"; it's always us-Don, Mikey, Master Splinter and me.

I knell down next to Leo and place my hand on his forehead.

"Shh, it's okay, nothings wrong" I whisper in his ear.

He moans and turns away.

Sometimes, he gets so far in to his nightmares, I have trouble waking him … and this appears to be one of those times.

"… please don't … no … don't hurt them … leave them alone …"

Deciding this has gone far enough, I give Leo's shoulders a slight shake.

Nothing.

'Come on Leo" I say through clenched teeth as he begins to whimper.

I shake harder.

Still nothing. He's started crying and fighting for breath.

"LEO!" I shout.

He bolts up and if he hadn't been wearing his seat belt, I think he would have fallen out of the chair.

He frantically looks around the Battle Shell.

"Where's Mikes!"

"He's not here" I say

Leo starts fumbling with his seatbelt, trying to undo it.

"I gotta find Mikes"

I grab the seatbelt.

"He's okay Leo. He's at home remember"

He frantically shakes his head.

"No, NO the Shredders got him … I saw him"

Looking out the front window, I can see we aren't far from home.

"Leo listen to me … "

"He's going to hurt him!"

I sigh. This has been happening a lot since Leo got attacked by the bear … nightmares where he doesn't know what is real and what is not. Tears are streaming down his face.

I don't know what to do … but spotting Mikey's bandana, I have a brainwave. Grabbing it, I hand it to Leo.

'Remember what Mikey said?" I say "That he'll be okay and that he'd see you soon. Well the Shredder couldn't hurt him because Mikey made a promise"

Leo slowly stopped fighting me as the information was digested and I could release my hold on the seat belt.

"Well be home soon and you can see for yourself"

Accepting this, Leo eased back into the chair a little, watching the view out the front window.

Also looking, I see Casey's questioning reflection in the rear-view mirror.

I nod to him that everything is alright and moments later, when Casey looks back at the road and misses the pedestrian he was about to hit, we pull into the shed above our lair.

While Casey is waking Don, I undo Leo's seatbelt … and all the other belts he didn't know about.

Checking to see if it's cold outside, I get Leo to put on a jumper, just in case.

Since he's been sitting down for so long, his legs are like jelly and I have to help him walk.

Donny and Casey start unloading all our stuff as Leo and I make the slow progress to the elevator and by the time we reach it, they are finished.

We all file into the Utron elevator and when the door opens to home … there's a big "Welcome Back Leo" sign, hanging across the room.

With a huge smile, Leo slowly read the sign aloud to me but the second Mikey appears from the kitchen, the sign is forgotten.

Letting go of me, Leo hobbled over to Mikey and gave him a big hug. He then presented him with his bandana, saying that he "took good looking after of it"

Mikey thanked him, put it back on and took Leo over to the table which was laddered with all sorts of good food. Everyone then made their own way to the table and we had a good meal together. By the end, everyone was filled to the brim and it was only when Leo started to nod off, that April and Casey decided it was about time to head for home.

After saying goodbye and thanking them for everything, it was decided that I would bunk down with Leo for the night. This was until other arrangements could be made. I could feel my hammock calling to me but one more night wouldn't kill me … just my back.

Saying good night to everyone, I got Leo settled in his bed and then began making mine on the floor. Don was going to put another bed in the room but it could wait until the morning.

It felt weird … being back in the room where the last time, Leo was in a coma and we didn't know if he would ever wake up.

"Thanks Raph"

From the floor, I looked up into Leo's open eyes. I'd thought he was already asleep.

"What for?" I asked, surprised at this conversation.

"For just being there"

Then he rolled over and was quickly asleep.

"Don't worry Leo "I thought as I buried further under the covers "I'll always be there" 


	12. Chapter 12

Summary: It all started out like any other day … until Leo collapses and suffers a seizure and a stroke. In the passing of a few minutes, their lives will be changed forever. They have faced many challenges in their lives but will this prove to be too much?

Disclaimer: I Own Nothing

* * *

_"Thanks Raph"_

_From the floor, I looked up into Leo's open eyes. I'd thought he was already asleep._

_"What for?" I asked, surprised at this conversation._

_"For just being there"_

_Then he rolled over and was quickly asleep._

_"Don't worry Leo "I thought as I buried further under the covers "I'll always be there"_

**

* * *

((( 3 months later )))**

Donatello's P.O.V.

I can't believe it, it's been nearly 6 months since Leo collapsed … and haven't we changed. Since arriving back at the lair, many things have been happening.

Adapting to Leo at the farm was one thing but adapting to him back home was another. There are always... memories, waiting to pop out at you, the good and the bad. For awhile, it was hard to watch Leo sleep in my … his subway cart because it was like he was sick again.

Training in the dojo is totally different to training in front of the farm house and it isn't like we can send Leo away when we have weapons practice. We have to train while he mournfully sits on the side lines.

When we arrived home, Mikey and Master Splinter made a display on the dojo wall of Leo's katanas. This was a sort of remembrance of what something was but also a final point, that Leo could never train like we could ever again.

Master Splinter sometimes lets Leo "train" with some wooden swords but wooden swords are nothing like the real thing and it seemed like an insult to his fighting memory.

As I said, my subway cart was turned into his room. There's a curtain across the entrance for privacy and across the windows. There are two beds in there, one for Leo and one for whoever is bunking down with him. Raph, Mikey and I take it in turns.

Leo's lessons are much the same except he now trusts April and Casey, so there is no need for "special time" with them. But to give us a rest, April comes down twice a week to keep Leo company while … we have a break for awhile.

Leo still watches "Wheel of Fortune" with me, has been known to beat me on occasions, quite enjoys reading comic books with Mikey but Raph ... since we don't have a forest right on our door step and the sewers aren't really a place to take anyone for a walk, his walks with Leo have suffered.

And it's not like he can go topside with Leo because while we were gone, the Foot were amassing an army and went all out on their conquest for New York … and consequently, have quite a strong hold.

Since we got back we've been heavily fighting them … but without Leo's leadership, we've been at a disadvantage.

This means we have all been under a lot of stress lately. Us because we are fighting a losing battle against the Foot and Leo because he feels he should be helping but we won't let him.

But an incident about one and a half months after returning to the lair showed us how delicate Leo really is and since then, we try to keep his stress and worry levels to a bare minimum.

Anyway, it happened like this.

About a month and a half after returning to the lair, we were just coming to terms with the Shredders immense hold on New York and the effect of not having Leo's guidance and leadership. Raph was installed as our new "leader" but even he admitted he was nothing like Leo.

Then there was Leo. We'd been leaving him alone at home every night for the past two weeks. We'd been out trying to find a weak point in the Shredders defense but... so far, nothing.

That was leaving us constantly stressed, cranky, on edge, we were having trouble sleeping if we did any at all, Leo's lessons weren't taking place which meant he was doing nothing for days on end and tempers were flying high. Also because of our mental and physical state, we seemed to be coming home more injured then healthy.

Anyway, it was a Friday night and we were preparing to leave … again. Leo had been sulking all day because we wouldn't let him come with us and he wanted to go. No amount of explaining why he couldn't come was going to stop him and he'd been a bit … katty, even though he is a turtle, for awhile.

I think he felt it was his duty to protect us and since we got back, had been complaining at not being able to go with us. He'd even tried to sneak out of the lair with us on a few occasions. And to add to his list of complaints, he had been complaining LOUDLY about his headaches he was experiencing but we were too busy to do much but give him some pain medication.

So this particular Friday night, the second Raph said we were leaving, Leo was demanding to be allowed to come along …

"I wanna come"

I looked up from the map Raph and I had been examining … to find Leo.

"I wanna come" he repeated.

"Sorry Leo but you can't" said Raph as he folded up the map and stuck it in one of his back pouches. This same argument had gone on for days.

"Why not?" Leo persisted as he followed us over to the Utron elevator.

Yep, same argument.

"We've been through this Leo, you know why not" Raph said gently. I looked sideways at him, he looked tired.

"No I don't"

"Yes you do Leo … Come on Mikey, we're leaving!"

"Hang on" Mikey yelled from somewhere in the lair.

"I wanna …"

"Look Leo, I'm sorry but you can't come … why don't you go watch some t.v. or … or read a book"

Gee, Raph was really scraping the bottom of the jar now.

"I don't wanna read a t.v. or watch a book, I wanna co …"

"Mikey hurry up!"

"Hang on!" Mikey answered.

"Why you ignoring m …"

"NO hang on Mikey, NOW!"

I've tried to remain silent through all of this but I think I better step in … this has gotten much further than other nights.

"Look Leo, you know why you can't come" I said.

"No I don't"

Again out of the corner of my eye, I see Raph screwing his eyes shut in frustration … he doesn't handle stress well and Leo is another thing.

"Yes you do Leo, remember we told you it was too dangerous for you to leave the lair at the moment … maybe later when things are different"

"Why do you get to go out then!" Leo snapped. His voice was rising … a trait more common now when he senses that he won't get his own way.

I went to answer but bite my tongue. What was I supposed to say to that?

Seeing he'd beaten me, Leo moved closer to Raph.

"Why do you get to go outside and I don't"

Raph was now ignoring Leo, just staring into space.

Leo walked up to Raph and started roughly poking him in the chest.

"Why can't I go!" Leo shouted.

Raph pushed past him.

"Mikey I swear if your not here in ten sec …"

"Why won't he listen to ME!" Leo screamed at me, pointing at Raph "Why won't he let me GO!"

Raph turned away from Leo again in frustration … but I could see this was hurting him … this confrontation and all the others.

I moved in front of Leo and he couldn't get around me.

"Leo he's just worried about your safety, that's all"

"No he's not" Leo screamed, trying to push past me "It's because I'm stupid isn't it, I'm too dumb to do anything by myself"

In the mirror on the far wall, I saw Raph visibly flinch at that statement. He slowly turned.

"Leo …"

But Leo's enraged now and I can hardly keep him back away from Raph. He keeps pushing at me, trying to get past and I'm having trouble holding him back.

"I used to do that, I used to ... to go places but you won't let me! WHY! I can't help being stupid, it's not my fault! Why you blame me!"

Trying with all my might to hold Leo back, time seems to slow and over his shoulder, I see Master Splinter come out of his room. He looks more tired than he has ever looked in his life … and older. All this is taking its toll on him. He loves Leo but at his age, he should be resting … not listening to one of Leo's tantrums.

I can also see Mikey sticking his head out from his bedroom. His face looks drawn and he's actually lost a lot of weight … he hasn't had as much time to eat as before.

But time speeds up again and Leo is still screaming and trying to get past me.

"I just want to go!"

"I'm sorry Leo but you can't" Raph replies in a tired voice.

"WHY!"

"You know why"

"NO I DON'T!"

"Yes. You. Do."

"LET ME GO ONCE!"

"no"

"WHY NOT!" Leo screams as he finally manages to push me away.

"No"

"WHY!" As he reached Raph.

"NO"

"I JUST WANNA COME!" He shouted in Raphs face.

"NO!" Raph screams back at him.

Raph finally lost his cool but I have never heard such a loud … scream come out of him. Not in the middle of the most fiercest battles or deepest fights. It echoed around the lair a few times until it slowly faded away.

Raph had never in his whole life yelled that loud at Leo and Leo was in shock, he was frozen in place … until I saw his bottom lip quiver slightly. Then it started quivering more, Leo's face crumpled and tears started falling. He sobbed loudly.

Raph reached forward to him.

"Leo look I'm sorr…"

But Leo knocked his hands away, turned and ran for his bedroom. On reaching it, he wrenched back his curtains and then wrenched them back into place when he was inside. I could hear him sobbing and I was all the way over on the other side of the lair.

Turning to Raph, I saw him staring at the ceiling, desperately trying to hold his emotions. Tears were forming at the corner of his eyes. He moved so he was leaning on the Utron elevator frame. He then slowly turned so his shell rested on the door, slide down to the ground and buried his head in his hands.

I saw him visibly shaking and a sob or two wracked his body. It's horrible to see someone so strong reduced to this, a crying heap.

Turning, I saw Master Splinter slowly shake his head, turn and step back into his room, the door sliding quietly shut behind him.

Mikey had now joined me beside Raph. I could see tears falling on the floor but I didn't know what to say. I could also still hear Leo crying.

Mikey put his hand on Raph's shoulder, when Raph spoke.

"I can't do this" he mumbled.

I looked at Mikey who looked at me.

"Yes you can" I said "You're doing a good job"

"Yeah" he said "Why then did I just scream at Leo?"

I fell silent.

"I'd better go talk to him" Raph said after a few minutes.

Sensing that this would do neither of them any good, I said

"No let me, you stay here"

When he went to protest and rise, I firmly pushed him back down.

"Stay there" I said.

Leaving Raph with Mikey, I walked over to Leo's subway cart, his sobs getting louder the closer I got.

Reaching the curtain, I softly knocked on the door frame.

"Leo … can I come in?"

No answer, just sounds of crying coming from inside.

I knocked again.

"Leo?"

"… go away"

I expected as much. Through the curtain, I could see the silhouette of Leo standing between the two beds, holding his head and judging by how the image quivered and the sounds he was making, he was crying to the point of hysterics.

"'Please let me in"

"… no"

"Please Leo"

"NO!"

"Leo look …"

"GO AWA …"

**Thump**

With rocks in my stomach, I wrenched back the curtain to find Leo sprawled on the floor.

"Leo!" I shouted

I raced to his side and pulled him into my arms. I shook him.

"Leo speak to me!"

Loud footsteps sounded the fast arrival of Mikey and Raph at the door way.

There was then a gasp from Leo in my arms. Turning my full attention back to him, I found his eyes wide open and his mouth drawn back in pain.

"LEO?"

His body then started to cramp and jerk in my arms.

"… no"

It got faster and his eyes started rolling. Foam appeared out of his mouth. His whole body was in a full blown seizure.

"NO!"

But I could do nothing; I had to let him go, lower him to the floor. He lay in front of me, his glassy eyes wide open and silently screaming in pain as his body tossed and turned out of control.

Raph and Mikey joined me on the floor as we watched Leo's silent torture. We could do nothing but sit there, hold each other, watch and pray it would soon be over.

After little over a minute, but it seemed like an eternity, Leo's body slowed and stopped moving. His mouth slackened, his eyes rolled to the back of his head and closed. His head lolled to the side and he fell limp. I rushed forward to find his heart was still beating and he was breathing. I counted my blessings.

Silently, Raph and I gently picked him up and placed him on his bed, Mikey pulling the sheets up to his shoulders.

"Why does this keep happening Don?"

Turning to Raph's sickened face, I answered the only answer I knew.

"I don't know Raph, I really don't know"

Leo woke up three days later … he was completely paralysed. All he could move was his eyes and they'd roll around his sockets in panic and fear.

His ability to move returned a few days later to our relief and within two weeks, he was as normal as if nothing had happened.

But we knew better. This was the second time he'd collapsed after his first initial seizure and both of the last times had been brought on by stress. I think it has something to do with his blood pressure so I … borrowed a blood pressure machine from … an ambulance … I had to … really.

Anyway with my newly acquired … equipment, I can know monitor Leo's blood pressure readings and so far, have avoided any disasters.

But Leo's still not allowed to come topside with us, it's just too dangerous … but this still causes little problems with "why he can't come"

For Leo's sake and our own, we only go out on patrol every second or third night, not continually night in and night out because it's not healthy for us and … it was killing Leo.

But tonight is that second night and we will be leaving soon. There's been more activity in the middle of town then at the docks lately and this is … unsettling news. Why would Shredder move his "top-secret" underground organizations business into the heart of the city when at the docks, bad stuff is always happening there and it would probably go unnoticed?

Opening the door to the bathroom, I find who I've been looking for … and a whole ocean of water all over the floor.

"You both know your going to have to clean that up don't you?" I inquired.

Mikey and Leo both looked up from a heavily depleted bath. Bubbles were all over them … and the floor.

Now being turtles, we aren't as "into" the whole concept of "showers" or "baths". To us, it's not to get clean but rather to just get wet.

So imagine Raph and my delight when we found that Mikey and Leo didn't mind taking a bath together. Two turtles got a wash for half the water and we didn't have to worry about one drowning because there was a "sort of" supervisor a.k.a Mikey.

But the only downside was they usually had a water fight and most of the water ended up on the floor.

Before Mikey could plead with me to help him or give me the famous "puppy-dog eyes", I said

"We'll be going soon"

Leo's cheery grin dropped and Mikey simply nodded.

I left them to finish their "bath" and went to find Raph.

He was sitting in front of the display of Leo's katanas and I could tell he was deep in thought, pondering what we would be doing tonight. He always sat in front of the pair of katanas when he was deep in thought, worried or stressed … or I think when he needed an answer to a leadership problem. Leo's katanas always gave him inspiration.

He was pretty shook up after Leo's last seizure, like all of us, and I think he wanted to throw in the towel for leading but … who else would lead … or could. I also think he finally realized that Leo's leadership role wasn't all it seemed to be cracked up to be. But he still did the job … and he was handling the stress better.

I sat beside him.

"Is he ready?" Raph asked, not taking his eyes from Leo's swords.

"They're just finishing up now" I said.

He nodded.

"I think we should concentrate on the middle of the city tonight … nothing too long, an hour or two and then come home"

I nodded, more out of understanding then giving my consent to the order, he was the leader.

A door opening and closing behind us found a clean Leo and Mikey standing in the central part of the lair.

"Tell Master Splinter we are going" Raph said.

He then rose and went to get Leo settled for bed.

I rose and made my way over to Splinters room, knocking before entering.

He was sitting in the lotus position, his back turned but I could tell he wasn't meditating.

"Yes Donatello"

He can always tell who it is.

"We are leaving now sensei"

He nodded.

"Leonardo?"

"Raph is putting him to bed now" I answered.

"Good"

Finished, I went to shut the door.

"My son"

With the door nearly shut, I looked up at the back of his head.

"Yes sensei"

"Be careful"

I looked at my father. He was old and tired but even though we had grown up, he still cared deeply.

"We will" I said.

I bowed and left the room.


	13. Chapter 13

Summary: It all started out like any other day … until Leo collapses and suffers a seizure and a stroke. In the passing of a few minutes, their lives will be changed forever. They have faced many challenges in their lives but will this prove to be too much?

Disclaimer: I Own Nothing

* * *

_"We are leaving now sensei"_

_He nodded._

_"Leonardo?"_

_"Raph is putting him to bed now" I answered._

_"Good"_

_Finished, I went to shut the door._

_"My son"_

_With the door nearly shut, I looked up at the back of his head._

_"Yes sensei"_

_"Be careful"_

_I looked at my father. He was old and tired but even though we had grown up, he still cared deeply._

_"We will" I said._

_I bowed and left the room._

* * *

Splinters P.O.V.

Two hours had come and gone when I begun to first feel the twinges of worry. But I reassured myself … they just got held up.

Another hour … three hours gone … maybe there was more "action" out in the city and they just didn't realize the time.

"Four hours … they should have been home by now" I thought as I sat on the lounge. I was … "channel-surfing", trying to see if anything major had happened in New York … something to explain their absence …

Nothing …

My agitation must have spread because Leonardo joined me on the lounge. He's started talking to me … but I am too sick with fear to listen, let alone answer.

"Where are Raph, Donny and Mikes?"

I leave him on the couch and go and try to make myself some tea … try. After scolding my shaking hands three times by spilling boiling tea onto them … I give up.

I'm sitting at the table, watching the cloak … it slowly ticks away the seconds … minutes … hours ...

Five hours … my sons have been missing for five hours. Well, they were supposed to be home three hours ago but I haven't seen them for five hours.

Will I ever see them again?

I must do something!

I grab my cane and am ready to go outside to find them … until I come across Leonardo in the "lair".

He looks up as I enter. His face shows confusion, panic, worry but most of all … fear.

Then I realize, the flaw to my plan …I can't leave him home alone.

For the first time in my life … I feel … frustration and slight … anger towards my son. I dislike it but my sons are in danger and I can't rescue them because I cannot leave him alone.

He should be out there with them …

Some emotion must have shown on my face because Leonardo drew away from me. I saw him cast his eyes towards … his katanas.

There on their display, looking at him and me ... reminding us in this kind of situation what we had lost.

They were mocking me … I had trained him for fifteen years and in his brothers time of need, he could do NOTHING!

Well I could.

Turning my back on him, I headed for my room. Reaching the central plain of meditation is hard but once there, I might be able to find my sons.

Two hours later, I emerged weakly from my room. I had reached the central plain but was unable to find my sons. All I found was incredible feelings of hate, fear, panic, frustration and towards the end, a soul wrenching agony of grief which was unimaginable. I felt like screaming in pain and hurt the second I felt it. It burnt my heart and soul the moment it … happened, leaving me emotionally and physically exhausted.

But I had still not found my sons.

It had taken time for me to struggle to my feet, to the door, to open it but when I managed to open it … I stumbled out into a deserted lair.

I felt it in my bones … I was alone.

"Leonardo" I called.

The t.v. was still on like I had left it, news programs and commercials continually flicking onto the screen … casting eerie colours and shadows across the room.

"Leonardo!" I called again.

I turned towards Leonardo's bedroom. The light was on but no flickering shadow of life … no shadow of movement took place in the walls of his subway cart. He wasn't asleep because he never slept with the light on.

Making my way into the centre of the lair, I felt the hairs on the back of my neck rise. Slowly I turned … until I saw the reason for my uneasiness … which soon turned to panic.

Leonardo's display of his two katanas was perfect … except it was missing the katanas.

I clutched at my chest as my heart skipped a beat.

"No"

Spinning around, I found the main entrance door was still shut and none of the newly installed locks had been tampered with. But that left …

Slowly turning to the Utron elevator, it looked … no different. Hoping what I was seeing was true, I squinted my eyes … and my heart skipped another beat … the main lock had been sliced cleanly through.

Anybody could now come in … or go out.

The world seemed to spin and I leant heavily on my cane to stop myself from falling.

How could this happen?

As I tried to regain my breathing and balance, the main entrance door to our home creaked, groaned and slowly started to open.

Turning, I saw nothing but long shadows and a tunnel of darkness. But things seemed to be moving in the darkness.

The darkness formed shadows and then the shadows formed shapes … figures … their identities shielded by the semi-darkness. Limping, battered, clutching wounds and no doubt bruised, with heads bowed, they made their way into the lair.

Relief turned to anguish when I saw … there were only two.

One was heavily leaning on the other, blood plastered all over their bodies.

'Where are your brothers?" I asked in fear.

Tearstained faces cast towards the doorway.

Another shadow was taking form. But this figure was distorted … out of proportion. It was too wide in the middle.

Then I realized with horror, the figure was limping heavily on his left side and was carrying something.

I dropped to my knees.

And by the way he was holding it … it was precious to him.

**

* * *

((( 2 hours earlier )))**

The Shredder's P.O.V.

I have waited a very long time for this moment … a very long time. When you stand, victorious before your enemy, it seems like all the waiting, planning and scheming was all worth it … and that your destiny is about to be fulfilled.

Not that I would call slaying these mutant FREAKS the point to my existence … I am far above that … but the cool nights air has a … charge about it.

I have waited long enough.

The three beasts are lined up before me, hands bound behind their … shells. Battered and bruised, I will say they put up a "good fight". The red one … Raphael I think, took many of my soldiers down before he was … pacified. Blood pours from his mouth and his cheek is swelling … but he still DARES to keep eye contact with me … stare at me as if our positions were switched and he was the captor.

I sense deep hate in his glare … and I am quite enjoying it.

I laughed at him.

"I will have great enjoyment cutting out your eyes … after you've seen your brothers killed of course"

"If you dare …"

With my claw, I backhand him across the face, leaving a thin red line that immediately begins to bleed. A hiss escapes him and protests from his brothers.

"You won't speak unless you are told"

"GO TO HELL!"

I give a nod and from behind, Hun swings the Bo staff he has been holding. But he doesn't aim for … Raphael, the Bo strikes the youngest … Michelangelo across the shell. The Bo staff snaps on impact.

With a cry of pain, the turtle falls onto his front.

"NO!"

But his brothers can do little for their youngest sibling.

Grabbing the end of his bandanna tails, I jerk his head up to face me.

His short breath tells me that his … shell is hurting more than he is letting on.

I bring my claw up to his neck.

Looking from his bandana to his face, I ask.

"Tell me, why is your bandanna of the colour of a beginner in the arts where the last I knew, you had the pathetic colour of orange"

The young turtle's eyes wavered from me, to his brothers and back to me.

Spitting in my face, he answers.

"Why do you wanna know?"

Frustration growing, I decide he will be the first to go, followed by his bad tempered brother who will die as long and as painful as I can possibly make it and his other smart brother will be a new addition to my collection of scientists who are … working "voluntarily" for me.

Pulling back my claw, I decided to add a hole to his throat so he can bleed to death.

I barely hear the scream of rage and the whisper of steel.


	14. Chapter 14

Summary: It all started out like any other day … until Leo collapses and suffers a seizure and a stroke. In the passing of a few minutes, their lives will be changed forever. They have faced many challenges in their lives but will this prove to be too much?

Disclaimer: I Own Nothing

* * *

_I bring my claw up to his neck._

_Looking from his bandana to his face, I ask._

_"Tell me, why is your bandanna of the colour of a beginner in the arts where the last I knew, you had the pathetic colour of orange"_

_The young turtle's eyes wavered from me, to his brothers and back to me._

_Spitting in my face, he answers._

_"Why do you wanna know?"_

_Frustration growing, I decide he will be the first to go, followed by his bad tempered brother who will die as long and as painful as I can possibly make it and his other smart brother will be a new addition to my collection of scientists who are … working "voluntarily" for me._

_Pulling back my claw, I decided to add a hole to his throat so he can bleed to death._

_I barely hear the scream of rage and the whisper of steel._

* * *

Raphael's P.O.V.

We'd been on patrol for over an hour when the first Foot soldiers came … they were an easy fight. Then more joined and it got a little harder. Nothing we couldn't handle.

More then joined and it became a challenge … a bit of a tester.

It wasn't until the small challenge started to become a massing army that was doing nothing but getting bigger that I decided a retreat was in order.

We ran, they followed.

It didn't seem to matter where we went, a Foot soldier would appear. We couldn't escape them! From roof tops to the docks to Central Park to the roof tops again, we couldn't seem to outrun or outwit them.

In the end, we had to stop and fight. But even that was futile.

I tried to take as many down as I could but for every one I killed, another and another took the place … until I was receiving more blows then I was dealing out.

And then the Shredder arrived.

I'd tried my hardest. I knew that if we died out here, Splinter couldn't take care of Leo forever and the death of us would be the death of him.

We fought on … tried to.

Eventually, out of all my brothers, I was the last one standing … until I was taken down.

And now, I knelt at the Shredders mercy, watching him tear my family apart, piece by piece. I now know how Leo felt when he said he was scared of failing.

I thought he was weak.

I thought wrong.

Failing was more than getting something wrong, failing for us meant dying.

I wish we could be there for Leo; he wouldn't survive long after learning we were gone, Splinter certainly wouldn't live long and after that, Leo would have no one. April and Casey for awhile … but they have a life and Leo needs someone to be looking after him full time.

Hope for him would die right alongside us.

The Shredder goes to plunge his claw into Mikey and my eyes widen in horror … but not from Mikey's predicament, I see Leo emerging from the shadows, a ghost from the past.

But he is real.

Screaming at the Shredder, he swings his katanas at him, hoping to cut off his head. The Shredder dodges and Mikey nearly loses his head from Leo's momentum.

With another scream of rage, Leo springs at the Shredder but is driven back by a punch to the face. The Shredder had quickly recovered.

Amidst our cries, Leo hits the ground hard, his grip lessening on his katanas.

Now the Shredder jumps at Leo, who seems paralysed with fear.

"MOVE LEO!" I screamed.

At the last second, he rolls to the side and the Shredders claws strike the concrete, sparks flying everywhere.

On his feet, Leo circles the Shredder.

The Shredder then feints to the right but comes at Leo from the left … a beginner's manoeuvre, something basic and easy to pick up …

Leo falls for it …

Screaming at him to run away … but held back by Foot soldiers … we watch helpless as the Shredder barrels into Leo and starts to punch and kick him.

His pained screams fill the air.

Howling with rage and grief, Don, Mikey and I scream at the Shredder, begging him to stop, can't he see Leo can't fight back!

But the Shredder ignores us and only finishes when Leo is a sprawled on the floor, a bloody and bruised mess.

Someone must have cut my arm restraints because the next second, I am free.

Panicking, I stumble over to Leo as the Shredder steps smugly back.

Leo whimpers as I crouch beside him. He whimpers even worse when I wrap my arms around him and lets out a cry of pain when I pull him to me.

He buried his head in my chest plate and cries.

Holding him, I feel tears running down my face. Leo should have never been here … to see this again.

A shadow looms over me.

"I see you are not as heartless as I've been told"

Leo pulls in even closer, trying to get away.

I look up at the Shredder.

"He can't fight" I pleaded "He wasn't meant to be here"

"And who's fault will that be" the Shredder says, turning away "The brother who can't protect his own kin or the brother who can't protect himself"

"You don't understand" I pleaded… I need to get Leo away "He …"

"Do you think I am stupid" The Shredder snapped "Do you think I have not missed his fighting presence over the months, his clear loss in … fighting skill and his mental behaviour" casting an eye at Leo sobbing in my arms "No, I know something has changed and before I kill you all… I would be delighted to find out"

I looked at him in horror.

"He's only a kid!" I screamed

Leo jumped in my lap but pulls close again, I grip him harder.

"We're all only KIDS!"

**WHACK**

My grip loosens as the Shredder backhands me again and I fall backwards, Leo falling on top of me.

I wish he would stop doing that!

Pushing myself up, Leo is wrenched from my grasp. I grab at thin air.

Hun is dragging him backwards away from me.

"NO!"

I lunge forwards but find the Shredder holding me back.

Holding his claw to my throat, he lowers himself down until I can hear the little mechanical parts that make the eerie sound of his breathing.

Don and Mikey are screaming and struggling against their captors … but I only have eyes for Leo.

Trying to struggle, calling for me, Leo is roughly thrown to the ground by Hun …

Who then pulls out a small handgun.

As Leo slowly pushed himself to his knees, Hun takes aim at the back of his head.

"I still would like to know how Leonardo became who he is … " the Shredder whispers in my ear" No matter, the purple one will fit the place but for the rest of your family, this is where it ends"

Drawing my head up and away from Leo, I look into the eyes of my killer.

He smiles.

There's a cry and the gun goes off.

A shearing pain rips through my leg and I cry out. Startled, the Shredder claw jolts and cuts into me. I begin to bleed.

Thrown to the ground, clutching my leg, I find a shallow wound … a bullet graze.

Looking up, Leo is hurtling towards the Shredder. Behind him, I see Hun screaming and trying to pull out a sai that is embedded in his leg … where the HELL did that come from!

Reaching the Shredder, Leo uses the force of his jump to push him backwards.

As the Shredder stumbles back, Leo again jumps ...

But the Shredder draws back his arm, grabs Leo in mid-air and throws him head first into a nearby wall.

**CRACK**

He crumbles to the ground and he doesn't get up. He doesn't even move.

With a howl of rage, I rush at the Shredder, ready to tear him to pieces for hurting my brother.

Turning to face me, I barrel into him and finish the job Leo started.

The Shredders arms do a windmill on the edge of the building … but nothing can stop him from plummeting twenty floors to his doom.

I watch with slight satisfaction as he collides with the concrete … or splatters, machine parts going everywhere.

Only when I see a small pool of blood appear, rapidly spreading in all directions from under the gaze of the street light, do I turn away.

I rush over to Leo.

* * *

Donatello's P.O.V.

As the Shredder raises his claw on Raph and Hun raises the gun on Leo … a young smug Foot soldier slowly strides in front of me and stops in front of Mikey.

Pulling out his katanna, he raises it above his head.

"Master has uses for you" He smirks at me.

His katanna starts to descend.

Pushing myself, I twist and ram my shoulder into Mikey, knocking him out of the way … and hoping my plan works.

The katana slashes through my arm restraints.

It worked.

Still in mid-air and turning, I kick my legs out and try to smash the little Foot's head in. He hits the ground … out cold.

Nobody messes with me and my brother.

A wave of fear engulfs me and I spin around … to find Hun holding a gun to Leo's head.

I see Hun's finger tighten on the trigger.

Screaming in rage, I grab a discarded sai, one of the many weapons littered around our battlefield, pull back and throw with all my might.

Slicing through the air, it embeds itself into Huns calf just as he fires the gun, changing his aim.

He misses Leo.

I have no time to see what happens next because a Foot soldier runs at me with a spear. Dodging and kicking him aside, I see more soldiers amass. Picking up a discarded katanna, I slash the bounds around Mikey's arm restraints. We get into a fighting stance as the Foot charge.

I try to keep an eye out for Raph and Leo … but through the mass of bodies … I see nothing.

Fighting shell to shell with Mikey, we show no mercy … they sure weren't going to.

The air is then filled with a sickening CRACK and I faultier for a second. Enough time for someone to embed a sai in my leg.

Ripping it out, I return it to its rightful owner … through his stomach.

Fighting off a Bo wielding opponent, I see Hun staggering to the edge of this building, looking over the edge and calling to someone.

He turns and screams something and the opposing forces start to disappear. Mikey and I finish off the remaining few when …

A scream.

A scream so full of grief, when it hits me, I stumble backwards. As it rips into me, I feel it taking a bit of my soul with it … a bit of me. I feel like I have died inside, my heart and soul, torn apart. Tripping on something, I fall.

From the ground, I see the remaining Foot, turn tail and run … but I only have attention for this … this pain. A sob gurgles in my throat. I curl up into a ball, trying to block out the noise as I cry.

Where is it coming from?

And then, as fast as it started … it stops.

The night is still and silent.

I find I've fallen on Mikey who grabs hold of me, I hold tight to him. Tears are falling fast from him and my eyes are running. But I only have one thought …

Where are Raph and Leo?

* * *

Raphael's P.O.V.

Stumbling from the edge, I hurry to the wall as Hun hurries to the buildings edge.

In my haste, I trip on something, a discarded weapon or body, and fall onto my face. Looking up, I can see the outline of Leo against the wall.

On my front, I scramble forwards.

He's lying on his front, face turned away from me.

Turning him over, I roll him into my arms.

And stop dead as his glassy eyes stare at the night's sky, his facial expression resembling something of surprise.

… no

Frantic, breathing hard, I grab his wrist.

… no pulse.

… no

His neck … no pulse.

… No

I shake him.

… nothing.

I shake him harder.

… NO!

My whole body shaking, I wrap my arms around him and hold him to me.

He's limp in my arms, head lolling back to comply with gravity, the surprised look not leaving as his eyelids close.

Fighting myself, I hug him to me, trying to squeeze some life into him.

Nothing … Leo is dead.

I scream.

* * *

Michelangelo's P.O.V.

Everything is so still and quiet. I hold onto Donny like he is my only lifeline for this world and he holds onto me.

Then I hear it again. Not as loud as before … but the same high pitched sob, a cry of pain, a shriek of despair and it breaks my heart every time I hear it.

And it always fades to a long, sad moan … and that is the worst part.

I grip Donny harder but my arms are already seizing up … I can't let go.

It happens again … but every time it gets quieter until all there is are continual sobs and moans of pain.

Donny struggles to his feet, pulling me up with him.

Taking a second to get our bearings, we stumble towards the source of our pain.

Raphael's P.O.V.

I hold him like I've never held anyone before. It is if he was a little child, asleep in my embrace and I was watching him, not wanting to disturb him.

Except this sleep was the kind you didn't wake up from.

I let out another heartfelt cry which ends in a long moan.

I'm barely aware of all the tears falling, nothing can distract me from this moment, nothing ever will again.

Raising my hand, I brush his cheek … he's cold.

I pull him closer, try to cover him … got to keep him warm … FOR WHAT POINT HE'S GONE!

I raise my head and let lose a howl of lose.

He's dead.

I bow my head and cry into his plastron.

We'll never be complete again.

* * *

Donatello's P.O.V.

Stumbling over what seems a mile of broken bodies, clutching each other for support, Mikey and I head for the sound.

My leg aches where the sai went in but the blood has clotted and there is little more than a trickle.

Mikey's breathing is wheezy, heavy and irregular … that Bo staff to the shell must have messed him up.

Sensing we are nearing our destination, we slow.

A figure appears in the semi-darkness, bent over something. It then raises its head and let's lose a howl of loss.

Mikey collapses next to me, nearly pulling me down but I keep my footing … I have to see for sure.

Releasing my hold on Mikey, on autopilot, I make my way in front of …

Reaching my position, I fall to my knees.

Sobbing his heart out, holding Leo so tight his fingers are digging into his cold skin, Raph barely acknowledges my presence as he has his heart and soul ripped out, piece by piece.

Eyes screwed shut, mouth open in a continual howl but with nothing coming out, he rocks back and forth, lost in his own grief.

Leo is cradled like he is the most precious thing in the world.

The most precious thing he was.

Shakily, I reach forwards. My hand brushes Raph.

He jerks backwards.

"Don't touch me!" He screams.

I reach forward with both arms.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!"

Fighting him, I wrap my arms around his shaking body, him screaming at me to let go … but I hold him as he holds onto Leo.

He gives in and I move closer. Wrapped in our embrace, Raph screaming and sobbing into my shoulder, I feel Leo's cold body against mine. His head is resting on my upper chest plate, lolling every time Raph's body convulses.

A shadow falls on us … Mikey.

Kneeling next to Raph, wrapping an arm around me and Raph, he joins in our grief. Choking on our sobs, gripping each other as tight as we can, Mikey and I succumb to our grief … but nothing like Raph's.

Even though Raph and Leo fought a lot, they were the greatest of friends and Leo's stroke only helped to enforce that.

And for once in his life, Raph got to use that brotherly protection on Leo, something he could have never done before. Raph depended on Leo just as much as Leo depended on Raph.

And now Leo was gone.

Nothing was left but any empty shell … two empty shells.

* * *

Raphael's P.O.V

I don't know how long we have been here … I don't know how long I've been cradling the dead body of my brother … I don't know how I haven't chucked a temper tantrum and threatened to kill everyone in sight … all I know is that I am numb inside.

My cries have stopped to a low moan now and then and that is beginning to cease.

I feel Donny's grip on me lessens and he gently pulls away.

His pressure on Leo disappears and Leo slips but I grab him and rest him against me.

Leo's face has slackened, the surprised look gone, it looks like he is merely sleeping against me.

I start sobbing again.

"He looks peaceful" Mikey murmurs

"He was always peaceful" I snap, too lost in my grief to care at how Mikey recoils.

I lay my head on Leo's, my cheek pressed against his bald head and whimper.

He's truly gone.

"We'd better go" Don says "Splinter will be getting worried …" he trails off.

What does Splinter have to worry about … his worst nightmare has occurred … our worst nightmare has occurred.

I moan again, rubbing my cheek on Leo's head.

Why are we hated so much? Why couldn't it have been me? I don't deserve to live …

My feeling must have played on my face because the next thing, Don says.

"It wasn't your fault Raph"

More tears come, I screw my eyes shut.

"There's nothing you could do"

Except protect him like he always did me.

Donny must have seen there was no reasoning with me.

Getting to his feet, helped by Mikey, he reaches down to take Leo.

I pull back and grip Leo harder.

"You have a wound in your leg Raph; I don't think you'll …"

"I'll carry him if it's the last thing I do!"

Not letting go of Leo one little bit, I struggle to my feet. My bullet graze pulls but I am beyond physical pain, I only feel emotional. Tucking Leo's head into my shoulder joint, much like the time when he was attacked by the bear, I'm bombarded with memories.

The bear, seeing him lying in the tree, going limp as I tried to hurry through the snow, his lifeless body being placed on the kitchen table as I throw up everywhere in exhaustion.

That was the worst experience of our lives, but he survived that … it would have been better if he had of died then and not had to live for this.

Don and Mikey are waiting for me, I can see they want to carry Leo, handle him, touch him for the last time … but I won't let them.

Selfish, yes but letting him go would be what made me lose my grip on this world, I'm losing enough already.

I move to them, at the side of the building.

"Let's go home" Don says.

Home … home will never be the same again.

**

* * *

(((Present)))**

Splinter P.O.V.

Raphael fully emerges into the light of the lair. Battered, bruised, with fresh blood trickling down his leg to mix with dried, I can see he is in tremendous pain.

Not physical pain but emotional. Even now, his chest heaves under the immense strain of loss.

But I only focus on him for a second until I am drawn to … my son.

Leonardo.

During these last few months of no vigorous training, patrol runs or work out sessions and his continual illness and ailments, Leo has lost height and muscle.

From being the tallest and most muscled … Leonardo has become the shortest and leanest. While his brothers continued to build and tone their muscles, Leonardo's began to fade, giving him a lean figure.

He looked like a small child in Raphael's well-muscled arms. Easily broken.

Wanting to rush over to him but unable to move the slightest, I watch as Raphael slowly makes his way over to me.

The lair is silent, except for my shaky breath and Raphael's echoing footsteps on the floor.

Dropping to his knees in front of me, I shakily hold out my hands to him.

Gently Raphael unfolds his arms from around Leonardo and slowly places him in my embrace.

His head resting on my chest, I hold him close while I compose myself.

Then I look down at him.

It was as if he was a young turtle again, who had had a nightmare, come into my room seeking comfort and had fallen asleep in my arms.

In my arms, his body was curled up a little like a child and all he needed was a thumb in his mouth to complete the picture.

Raising my hand, I brush his cheek, sure I could get him to wake up, get him to sleepily open his beautify eyes and get him to smile one of his heart-warming smiles we have all grown to love.

But his eyes remain closed; he remains limp in my grasp.

Empty.

I feel tears falling, running down my cheek and dropping onto his plastron where his heart should still be beating.

Wrapping my arms tightly around him, I hug him to me and cry on his shoulder. Burrowing my head, chest heaving, I mourn the loss of my son … my Leonardo … who is now gone forever … 


	15. Chapter 15

Summary: It all started out like any other day … until Leo collapses and suffers a seizure and a stroke. In the passing of a few minutes, their lives will be changed forever. They have faced many challenges in their lives but will this prove to be too much?

Disclaimer: I Own Nothing

* * *

_Raphael fully emerges into the light of the lair. Battered, bruised, with fresh blood trickling down his leg to mix with dried, I can see he is in tremendous pain._

_Not physical pain but emotional. Even now, his chest heaves under the immense strain of loss._

_But I only focus on him for a second until I am drawn to … my son._

_Leonardo._

_During these last few months of no vigorous training, patrol runs or work out sessions and his continual illness and ailments, Leo has lost height and muscle._

_From being the tallest and most muscled … Leonardo has become the shortest and leanest. While his brothers continued to build and tone their muscles, Leonardo's began to fade, giving him a lean figure._

_He looked like a small child in Raphael's well-muscled arms. Easily broken._

_Wanting to rush over to him but unable to move the slightest, I watch as Raphael slowly makes his way over to me._

_The lair is silent, except for my shaky breath and Raphael's echoing footsteps on the floor._

_Dropping to his knees in front of me, I shakily hold out my hands to him._

_Gently Raphael unfolds his arms from around Leonardo and slowly places him in my embrace._

_His head resting on my chest, I hold him close while I compose myself._

_Then I look down at him._

_It was as if he was a young turtle again, who had had a nightmare, come into my room seeking comfort and had fallen asleep in my arms._

_In my arms, his body was curled up a little like a child and all he needed was a thumb in his mouth to complete the picture._

_Raising my hand, I brush his cheek, sure I could get him to wake up, get him to sleepily open his beautify eyes and get him to smile one of his heart-warming smiles we have all grown to love._

_But his eyes remain closed; he remains limp in my grasp._

_Empty._

_I feel tears falling, running down my cheek and dropping onto his plastron where his heart should still be beating._

_Wrapping my arms tightly around him, I hug him to me and cry on his shoulder. Burrowing my head, chest heaving, I mourn the loss of my son … my Leonardo … who is now gone forever …_

* * *

Raphael's P.O.V.

Watching Master Splinter weep over the body of Leo only doubles the feeling of this family's loss … our loss … my loss.

Donny and Mikey moved off a while ago, heading for the first aid cupboard. The only reason why they shifted was that Donny was bleeding all over the place and Mikey was having trouble breathing. For anything less, I think they would have never left.

My wound has clotted and stopped bleeding. Not that I care, at the moment, I would happily bleed to death.

"How did this happen?"

Breaking out of my suicidal train of thought, I notice Splinters swollen eyes peering over Leo's shoulder.

"How did this happen?"

His voice is wobbly and crackly. I try to answer but it is beyond me to tell what happened. I can't speak.

"The Shredder"

Don kneels at my side. He has cleaned himself and has a fresh bandage on his leg. Mikey sits in my other side, bandages wrapped tightly around his shell.

Don then begins to clean and bandage my leg.

"I killed him" I manage, emotionless.

Splinter jerked his head up.

"Y … you killed him?"

I nod.

Don finishes with my leg, I stand up.

Reaching down, I slip my arms under Leo and pick him up, taking him from Splinter.

Leaving Master Splinter, Mikey and Don, I carry Leo over to his room, pushing back the curtain and going through.

With my elbow, I flick on the light. The room slowly comes to life, too bad there was no life in it.

Walking to his bed, I gently lie him down onto it. Holding his head, I make sure his body is comfortable, like I have done all those times before when he fell asleep at the t.v.

Cradling his head, I bend down and kiss him on the forehead … stifling a sob. I lay his head down to rest.

I pull the white sheet up but instead, unlike every other time when I've tucked him in and stopped at his chin, I pull the sheet up until it covers his head.

Finished, I pull a chair over to his bedside, determined to stay with him until he has … gone. Not that he wasn't gone now but his body is still here and for a few seconds, I can pretend that he is only sleeping and that he will wake up soon.

I couldn't leave him anyway … Leo hated being alone.

**

* * *

(((Hours Later)))**

I don't know how long I have been in this room. It could have been seconds, minutes, hours, days … all I know is I'm sitting beside the body of my brother.

Everyone else has gone to bed … or to their rooms to continue their grieving. Don must have told Splinter the full story because for awhile, I could hear them crying until they all moved off, went their separate ways.

Maybe they are asleep; hoping they will wake from this nightmare … it is a living nightmare.

I am so thirsty from all my crying and so tired but I still haven't stopped mourning … it's just quieter now, more internal. I should get a drink … but I can't leave.

Deciding I haven't got enough strength to drag my useless body out of this chair and it would do me good to die of dehydration, I slouch back into the chair. I have a headache.

Moving the chair forward, I look at the outline of Leo in the blanket.

Moving even closer, I gently pull back the white sheet so I can see his face … one last time.

Fresh tears start falling.

He looks so young … he shouldn't be here.

I cup his face, so young, my brother, why couldn't it have been me …

Laying my head on his chest, I let out a sob, one of hundreds of this night.

Scrunching the blanket in one hand, the other brushing his cheek, I again pour out my soul … until I drift off to sleep …

...

_Street gangs … the minor league before the major … minor being them, major being the Foot. Minor being not having toned their skills to join the majors or in some cases … waiting to be discovered._

_All enemies are dangerous, some more than others but those "waiting to be discovered" ones can never be picked. You don't know if they studied martial arts, kick-boxing, tai-chi, swords, fire-arms, cooking or if they just wanted to look "cool" in a gang. But it's always them who catch you out._

_Like the one who just tried to smash my head in with a crow bar. Hitting me just enough to not knock me unconscious but enough to send me sprawling to the floor, disorientated and having enough force to let him start to lay into me with kicks and punches without me being able to raise a finger to stop him._

_They say your life flashes before your eyes when you die … they lied because all I'm seeing is black spots in front of my vision every time I'm hit._

_This is the end._

Thu … thump...

_I sense movement._

_The next second, the attacker is knocked away, into a brick wall where he smashes HIS head in the process. Boy will he have a headache when he wakes up._

_A shadow falls over me; I can't move away … or see who it is._

Thu … thump…

I twitch

_The figure kneels down … its Leo …_

_He's speaking urgently to me … trying to get me to answer … to see if I'm okay …_

_I just smile, I'm glad he's here._

Thu … thump…

I twitch again

_He reaches down, gathers me in his arms and gently picks me up._

Thu … thump…

My breath hitches

_Knowing I'm safe … I shut my eyes …_

_I sense danger, I reopen them._

_I see another gang member swing his fallen mates crowbar at the back of Leo's head. Leo senses the attack, tries to cover me and takes the full blow._

_We fall, hitting the ground hard. The attacker runs off down the alley, happy at the turn of events._

_Muscling strength, I struggle to crawl over to Leo's inert form._

Thu … thump…

My breath hitches

_A pool of blood surrounds him and he makes no sign of life when I shake him._

_He's gone._

_Losing all sense of self and feeling, I collapse on top of him._

_Screwing my eyes shut, one hand moves to his plastron, one brushing his cheek; my head on his chest … I wait for the inevitable._

_My demise._

Thu … thump …

_I open my eyes_

Thu … thump …

_His chest is moving._

_I smile … he lives._

Thu … thump …

His chest is moving.

_I knew he wouldn't leave me in that dream._

Thu … thump …

His chest is moving.

Leo didn't leave me …

My eyes widen.

I'm not dreaming anymore …

Thu … thump …

His chest is moving …

**He Lives.**


	16. Chapter 16

Summary: It all started out like any other day … until Leo collapses and suffers a seizure and a stroke. In the passing of a few minutes, their lives will be changed forever. They have faced many challenges in their lives but will this prove to be too much?

Disclaimer: I Own Nothing

Note: I apologize immensily for the long wait but due to family illness, holidays, writers block and the "I can't be bothered's", I had trouble constructing this chapter. I only hope it was worth the wait. Thank You

* * *

Leonardo's P.O.V.

Sense … I can sense. I feel I am waking from a dream … a tiring dream…

Material … soft material, I can feel it around me, encasing me, keeping me safe.

Warmth ... I feel warmth … something … someone is near me.

Sense again … something strange … and yet … comforting.

I am safe here

Movement … breath … sound … comforting …

Sound again … same … but not. Different sound … tone … but same meaning.

I am safe here

I start to drift …

Movement, sound … urgent

Pleasant sounds …

Calling me … calling me … calling me back …

I want to go to them … calling me … comforting.

Movement … this time from me.

Sense from me

Sound from me

Turning my head, I moan … pain

Sounds … more urgent … willing me on

Sense, movement … comfort … all together … begging me

"… open your eyes …"

I try … I moan

No, pain … that is pain … to comply is pain

" … come on … please … try to …"

Comfort sounds, movements, sense … met with pain.

Sense … things brushing me … touching me … arms … hands … forehead.

Movement … holding me.

Sound … calling me

But if I comply to this … pain

… drifting

" … Leo … Leo … bro … please"

Leo … bro … comforting … familiar

bro … bro .. brother … brother … Leo … Leo brother … brother Leo … Leo brother

Leo has brothers, Leo is a brother

… drifting

" … Le … ope … ey … plea …"

Sounds fading … comfort … going … numbness … returning

no … NO!

Comfort … pain … no pain … numbness, emptiness …

Comfort … pain … brothers …

No pain … numbness … alone

I want comfort …

Pain … oh the pain

" … that's it Leo … fight it … listen to my voice …"

Flicker … light

Flicker … light

Warmth … body … forehead … hand

Gather strength … I want comfort

Bring on the pain

I snap my eyes open

Pain … overwhelmed by comfort

My Brothers

* * *

Eye's open, I take in my surroundings.

Walls … not bricks … this isn't my room. Eye's rolling … I spot … curtains? Curtains on the windows … and the door. This place is small too … definitely not my room.

I roll my eye's upwards and am bombarded with a rainbow of colours. My eyes slowly focus. Pictures … lots of pictures.

Pictures of my family, me, April, Casey, group shots, the farmhouse …

Pictures of wide open spaces, hills, grass, magazine cutouts … calming, comforting pictures …

A flash of red and green …

With my eyes still adjusting …everything is kind of blurry … or maybe the face is too close.

I roll my eyes away.

That sense of comfort again … someone has their hand on my forehead … the other gently on my cheek,slowly turning my face back to them.

I blink

The flash of red and green defines … becomes clearer.

Raphael …

I blink again.

Raph breaks out into a huge grin.

"Welcome back bro"

Is he crying?

He is … I can see it … tears are running down his face

More movement ... someone has my hand.

Slowly turning … blink furiously to clear my vision.

Mikey

My hand clasped in his, he holds it tightly as he too cries.

Why is everyone crying?

... Am I dead?

no … No I can't be …

Rolling my direction of sight back to Raph, I see Don is beside him.

He holds my other hand … he squeezes it reassuringly.

"You gave us quite a scare" he murmurs.

"But your safe now" Mikey says.

Confused, I turn to Mikey. "Your safe now" … when did Mikey start reassuring me … treating me like I treat him … the baby of the family ... the one who needs comfort

"_This is confusing"_ I conclude … trying to get my thoughts in order.

That hand on my face again … Raph

Another confusing thing … when has Raph ever been openly … brotherly. Scary thought.

He's talking to me ... but I'm too lost in thought … drifting in thought.

… the last time .. hard one … open brotherness by Raph … when I was ambushed by the Shredder … and when I cracked my head the other day .. Don said Raph nearly killed my attacker … and the other punks … and a bystander

I must be dead … that is the only conclusion.

Raph is talking more urgently to me now, slightly taping me on the face

"Hey Leo, stay with me …"

But if I'm dead … Why does this seem so real …

Raph leans in closer, face inches from mine

"Leo … stay … wake … alert"

I'm having trouble placing words into sentences … it's all a jumble.

Shakily, I release my hold on Don and bring my hand up to Raphs face to get his attention.

He seems real …

I get him to move closer.

I try to ask him if I'm alive or dead but it comes out as unintelligent gibberish.

I take a deep breath and try again.

" … am I dead"

Raph looks at me confused.

"Am I dead" I ask again, worried he didn't understand me.

He glanced over at Mikey and Don, then back at me, shaking his head.

"No … you're very much alive"

I took another breath.

"Then why are you actin like I died or something"

Everyone's confused now … they are all looking at each other.

"What did you say?"

I now look at Mikey in confusion.

"Why are you all looking at me like I died or something"

Bewildered looks now.

"But … but you nearly did!" Mikey exclaims.

"How?" I can now speak easier.

"The Shredder" Don blurts out.

"What! How did the Shredder get me?"

Raph then grabs my face between his two hands and looks deep into my eyes.

"Leo … what is the last thing you remember?"

Confused I slowly answer.

"Getting up tired … practise … sparring with you" I then look at him slyly "You didn't knock me out again did you"

Raph lets out a cry of joy and wrenches me into a bone-breaking hug while Mikey screams "He's back! He's back!" in the background.

"What do you mean I'm back" I think while Raph tries to squeeze me in two "… I was always here … wasn't I?"

* * *

Raphael's P.O.V.

Pouring a glass of water for myself, I can't help dancing a little jig … dance of joy.

Thou possibly to anybody else it would look like I needed to go to the loo … but to me, it showed my happiness and burnt off some of the desire I felt at running back into Leo's subway cart, throwing my arms around him in a big hug and laughing until I cried …

Just thinking about it gets me bouncing again.

Collecting my full glass, I scoot over to the lounge and settle myself between two equally happy people … turtles ... whatever

Why … because Leo is back … in the flesh and blood.

Leo is back.

Mind you, Leo is a bit … confused at the moment. He can't seem to remember anything but getting up on that fateful day.

That's where it ends ... goes blurry … and mix of sound and vision … until he wakes up in the subway cart … oblivious to the last 3 months of life … his life … our life.

Oblivious to everything that had happened, how we'd fully come to realize how much Leo meant to the family, how we have grown as a family, realized a family wasn't many parts but a whole and everyone added to it.

"He's really back" Mikey murmurs.

I pulled him into a one-armed hug, held him tight and laughed.

"Wasn't he surprised at our 'actions'" I said.

Pulling away from me, Mikey lightly punched me on the arm.

"Especially you, no wonder he thought he was dead"

I lightly punched him back.

"I'm not the only one who's changed, look at you" I put on a sly smile" You've lost weight"

With a cry, Mikey tackled me to the ground.

"Get off me chubby" I cried.

"Lest I'm not soft-hearted"

"What … and you've got a heart of steel"

"Got that right!" he said grinningas Don pulled him off me " and Don's become a game-show holic"

"Hey!" Don said sounding amused but he then pushed Mikey back onto me.

I threw him off.

"Humph"

Looking up, an amused-but-trying-to-look-slightly-serious Splinter had joined us.

We smiled sheepishly.

"Your brother wishes to see you all and we are hoping Donatello might be able to shed some light on this 'turn of events'"

As Master Splinter finished, with a cry of joy, Mikey hurled himself off the floor and started to dash towards the subway cart.

But he didn't get far before Splinter grabbed him by the arm and held him fast.

"Carefully my son" he murmured but talking to all of us "Your brother is confused and unsure at the turn of events and I think we should treat him with great …" he paused " … care until he is sure of himself again"

" Yeah Mikey" I said as Don helped me off the floor" so no being a goofball"

He stuck his tongue out at me.

Sounding like Master Splinter and muttering "child" as I went past, we headed for the subway cart.

Stepping inside was like stepping into a dream. There he was … sitting up in bed … looking around the room at all the pictures we spent time taking, cutting out of magazines and sticking them on the walls. It was a task that kept us occupied for quite a while but the product was ... amazing.

Moving to his side, I couldn't help but give him a quick hug as I sat on his bed.

Then throw a dirty look at Mikey who was grining evilly and tapping his heart.

Positioning ourselves in the little room we had, myself on Leo's bed, Mikey and Don sitting on the other and Master Splinter in the chair, we all sat in silence.

No one spoke.

This stretched until the comfortable silence became uncomfortable and the feeling weighed down on all of us … making us nervous. Nobody had anything to say … three months and nobody was going to say a word … it was ridiculous.

"This is my brother" I shouted at myself " For cry'n'out loud say SOMETHING"

"What happened?"

I jumped, along with everyone else, as the silence was broken.

Turning to Leo … I went to try and tell him … but found a lump in my throat that rendered me speechless.

What to say … how to start … where to start … so much had happened … we had all changed so much … emotionally, mentally, physically … how do you just start somewhere in a story like that.

Looking at Mikey and Don, I saw teary eyes and trembling lips … they couldn't do the job either.

I looked at Leo … and felt pity.

I could see it in his eyes that he desperately wanted an answer, he needed to know what had happened, why he had supposably woken up three months after getting up for practise … and yet I knew I couldn't tell him.

Alongside pity, I felt guilt

He deserved an answer, he needed an answer … and yet we couldn't give him one … it was still so hard.

Leo was looking from Don … to Mikey and finally … his gaze rested on me.

"Raph"

I flinched away and kept my mouth shut.

" … Raph please"

Tears forming at the corners of my eyes, I tried to hold in my emotion. I turned further away.

I felt his hand clasp mine and give it a reassuring squeeze.

"It's okay"

If I hadn't been desperately trying to hold in my tears, I would have laughed out loud. Leo's the one who just woke up from a near death … or death experience … whatever and he's comforting me.

I turned back to face him.

He had tears in his eyes, building up until they got too much … and overflowed, running down his cheeks. He probably doesn't even understand why he is crying, let alone why we were crying and yet here we all are … all crying.

There's a shuffle of a chair and Master Splinter drags it a bit closer.

Turning from me, Leo observes Splinter as he settles himself and turns his attention fully back on him.

"Forgive us my son" he began "but seeing you like this after so long of thinking we had … lost you, it is a bit … overwhelming"

Leo slowly nodded.

"But you deserve the right to know the truth … so I will start right at the beginning, the last thing you remember …"

So Master Splinter told the story from the beginning of practice, to him collapsing, the seizure, us reviving him, to our continual vigil in the subway cart, the decision to move to the farm, our time there, all the challenges, the obstacles we had to cross, his lessons, sickness, bear attack, him again collapsing and last of all, onto the months at home leading up to the recent events.

Everything that happened was told … except for a few minor details. When Leo asked why he ran out into the forest alone, Splinter simply said that was a matter for another time. Leo accepted this, which I think Mikey was greatful for but I knew Leo would eventually find out.

Hours later, when the retelling had finished … and everyone had stopped crying for there hadn't been a dry eye in the house, the big question we had all been waiting for was asked.

"Why did it happen … how did all this happen?" Leo asked

All turning our attention to Don, we waited for the answer to all our problems, the answer to that big question … Why?

For awhile, Don had a thoughtful look on his face … the look he always has when he is deep in thought, trying to sort out a problem.

Finally, he came to a conclusion.

* * *

Splinter's P.O.V.

Pouring the boiling water into my cup, I watched the tea leaves swirl around inside, like they were stuck in a mini tornado. Much like our lives. The water was life and we were the tea leaves. Life always threw us around but eventually settled, creating peace.

Moving back to Leonardo's subway cart, I felt peace.

Not wanting to leave Leonardo, my sons had pushed the two beds together in the centre of the room. Then came the task of positioning themselves so they all could fit. I smiled, just looking at them.

Sharing with Leonardo was Raphael, lying on his side, with one arm lying protectively over Leonardo. On his back, Leonardo's head rested on Raphael's. On Leonardo's other side, Michelangelo rested on his stomach and for once in his life, he lay not spread everywhere but neat and calm in one place. Last but certainly not least, Donatello lay on his side like Raphael, his arm over Michelangelo with his fingers just touching Leonardo's hand.

Not since they were little had they all shared a bed, age and size had prevented it. But thou they would wake up tomorrow sore from the confined space, they would be fully rested.

Fixing my gaze on Leonardo, I noted that he looked no different then before. Nothing had changed and yet ... he had and so had we.

"_I think when Leo suffered the blow to the head, it knocked something lose. I dunno what but I'm just guessing that it floated around in his blood stream until it became lodged in his brain. This slowed the blood flow, blocking oxygen from reaching the brain and caused the stroke. But it didn't cause enough permanent damage but without the oxygen, he slowed down. But the Shredder throwing him against the brickwall knocked it lose and the oxygen returned. This caused his body to shut down and he recovered"_

Donatello had easily summarized his theory of Leonardo's sickness into something we would "understand". There was more to it which I dont rememberbut the basic facts where there. Leonardo was sick, he is now better, to a father … that is all I need to know.

Donatello said we would also need to continue to monitor him. He found that high blood pressure helped to trigger Leonardo's illness and plagued us with the continual seizures. Thou "Leonardo" was back, we had to understand that he couldn't just march straight back into his "leadership" role. And then, he might never be totally the "Leonardo" we remembered.

While we were talking, Leonardo would sometimes blank out, lose focus. This caused immense panic as you would imagine but after a few moments, he would … refocus. But I had a sinking feeling, a few moments were a matter of life and death in a fight and …

I wouldn't lose my son again.

* * *

Please Read and Review. This isn't the last chapter but I'm guessing the last chapter wont be very long. Thank You for being very patiant and I hope the wait paid off.See u all soon ... hopefully! ;-) 


	17. Chapter 17

Summary: It all started out like any other day … until Leo collapses and suffers a seizure and a stroke. In the passing of a few minutes, their lives will be changed forever. They have faced many challenges in their lives but will this prove to be too much?

Disclaimer: I Own Nothing

* * *

_Donatello had easily summarized his theory of Leonardo's sickness into something we would "understand". There was more to it I remember but the basic facts where there. Leonardo was sick, he is now better, to a father … that is all I need to know._

_Donatello said we would also need to continue to monitor him. He found that high blood helped to trigger Leonardo's illness and plagued us with the continual seizures. Thou "Leonardo" was back, we had to understand that he couldn't just march straight back into his "leader" role. And then, he might never be totally the "Leonardo" we remember._

_While we were talking, Leonardo would sometimes blank out, lose focus. This caused immense panic as you would imagine but after a few moments, he would … refocus. But I had a sinking feeling, a few moments were a matter of life and death in a fight and …_

_I wouldn't lose my son again._

* * *

Raphael's P.O.V

Walking into the sub-way cart, I admired the emptiness. Everything excluding the bed and occupant had been removed … that and the pictures. It was an anonymous decision, the pictures were staying. I walked over to one of the walls and ran my fingers over them.

We figured that Leo usually woke up facing this particular wall, we didn't know it then but facing this wall meant there wasn't as much pressure on the side of his head with the blockage. Lying on the blockage would have caused pain so Leo would have slept different to stop it … without even knowing he was doing it.

Anyway, this was where the photos of us were … all of us. Pictures when we were kids, holding weapons, sparing, mucking around, showing off. Birthdays, Christmases … anything that Donnie could take a picture of us doing, he would. After finding the discarded camera in the sewers and fixing it, he had enjoyed using his "new" invention on any occasion.

Stopping half way along the wall, letting the memories flood back to me, I spotted one picture that always did the same thing. Made me stop and think. It was a picture of Leo and me. It had been a hard winter, colder then usual.

Basically, Leo and I got into a fight, I stormed out of the lair, got lost, Leo felt guilty and came to find me, found me, we both got lost, Splinter found us, thankfully he didn't get lost and we came home with a bad case of the flu.

At that time, living in the old lair, there wasn't much in the way of warmth and Donny hadn't reached the age of "heater maker and installer" … so we froze. Hoping to keep us both warm, Splinter laid us on the same futon, piled blankets on us and cared for us.

The picture was of Leo and me, piled under blankets, fast asleep but holding onto each other. Donny took the picture but Mikey showed it to us months later and I, being who I am, ripped it to shreds. After I'd gone off in a huff to kill Donny, Mikey sticky taped it back together and kept it hidden. And now it was on display for all to see.

I didn't really mind, it sort of symbolized something about Leo and me. Our relationship … strong even after someone tears it up … it just needs a bit of sticky to fix it.

Hearing movement behind me, I turned to see Leo waking up.

"Morning" I said

But I got no reply. Leo stretched, yawned but started to drift back into sleep.

I cussed; this was one of the problems we had now been having. Leo not waking up easily.

Moving over to him, I shook his shoulder.

"Hey Leo … time to wake up"

Opening his eyes again, he blinked to clear them.

He slurred something at me.

"What was that?" I asked

"… go away …"

I smiled … he said that every morning. Don said that the tiredness should pass, his body had been through a lot and it wanted rest.

But three weeks had now gone by and this routine wasn't changing. At first we let Leo sleep for as long as he wanted but now Splinter had put his foot down, he wasn't allowed to get up but he had to wake up when we did.

Admitable, we did let that one slip, as long as he woke up when we came and woke him, he could go back to sleep after breakfast, he was still injured. We were just worried … it seemed sometimes he wouldn't wake up at all.

Pulling the blankets off Leo, I said

"Don't ya wanna go back to your own room?"

Leo made a feeble grab at the blankets, still half asleep and missed completely.

"Just another few _m-m-minutes_" he yawned

Laughing, I slide my arms underneath him. Leo, knowing the deal, wrapped his arms around my neck and I lifted him off the bed. I carried him out into the lair.

"You know, if I got a dollar for every time you said that lately …"

"You would still be a very poor turtle" Leo murmured tiredly from somewhere around my neck.

Walking up the stairs and across to his bedroom, I nuzzled his head.

"Wanna have a look at your room"

"No"

Grinning, I walked into his room.

"He's a bit grumpy" I told Don and Mikey

Don looked up from wiring the portable t.v. and Mikey walked over.

"What's new" Mikey said grinning madly and proceeded to poke Leo. When Leo looked up, Mikey showed him a toothy grin

"Awww is our big brother a bit on the grumpy side"

Leo buried his head again.

"Go away"

Mikey laughed.

"Yep … he's grumpy"

"No I'm not!"

Smiling at their antics, I walked over and placed Leo in the padded chair, another new item to his domain.

"Can't I go in the bed" he whined.

"Not until you've had breakfast"

He pouted after that, while Mikey went to get his breakfast. This was how every morning started now. Leo would wake up, Leo acted like a little kid until after breakfast, he goes back to sleep for an hour or two and then is fine. We think his "childlike" behavior in the morning is because he's so tired … and yet the tiredness isn't going away no matter how much he sleeps.

His injuries are healing fine and he's back to normal mental wise, except in the mornings. Someone still sleeps in the same room with him each night to watch him but nothing out of the ordinary ever shows itself.

Again it would just take time.

At the moment he was slumped in the chair, glaring at me because I wouldn't put him in the bed. If he had the strength I'm sure he would have hobbled over to it by now.

Mikey had now come back with a bowl of cereal, glass of milk and several pieces of toast all balanced on a tray. Fussing over Leo, he got him settled, balancing the tray on his knee and eating.

While Leo ate, still glaring at me, I turned my attention to the room. We had decided that Leo would be out of commission for a while still, so his room was to be fitted out with the latest gadgets to curve his boredom. Newly installed t.v. with vcr, dvd, cable, a playstation with games … borrowed from many places, books lined his shelves, there were seats for visitors, Donny had leant him a laptop, there were cards, board games and a multitude of other boredom busters.

Yet I knew the minute he "thought" he was better, we might as well just strap him to the bed because anything less wouldn't keep him down.

Don having finished his wiring and beginning to program the telly, I turned back to Leo. We learnt quickly that over-crowding him didn't help especially at breakfast, so that became a one person job.

We also continually rotated jobs so he didn't think one of us was "babysitting him". He was a difficult patient.

Having finished breakfast and succeeding in spilling cereal all over his front, we could see Leo was dropping back into sleep. Grabbing a rag, I cleaned Leo up amid his continual tired muttering.

Head drooping, eyes blinking rapidly, sleep was fast overtaking him again. Sighing, I picked him up, not even waiting for his arms to encircle my neck … he was too far gone.

Walking over to the bed, Mikey pulled back the covers and I placed him in. He was fast asleep even before he touched the sheets.

Sighing, I looked over at Mikey who just shrugged his shoulders.

We had overcome one problem to be faced with another.

"Don't worry, he'll get over it"

"I know" I said to Donny as he walked out of the room "but shouldn't he be fine by now"

"Just give him time" was my answer.

"He had the operation over 3 weeks ago; surely he would be better by now"

Don just shrugged.

"These things take time."

* * *

(((3 weeks earlier, 3 weeks after Leo awakes)))

"I don't care what you think; you're not carrying me down the stairs!"

I grunted, the feeling of frustration growing …

"Then how do you suppose your going to get down" I replied

"I'll walk!" Leo shouted

"Now your being irrational" I said "last time you didn't even make it to the staircase"

"Well I will this time!"

Leo then proceeded to get out of bed. Out of instinct, I moved forward to help him.

"Go away!"

Stopping, I felt like grabbing my head and screaming … THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

Leo threw off the tiredness thing about a week ago but it had now been replaced by a whining, complaining and "I-can-do-what-I-want" turtle. He was still weak, wasn't eating much, still as skinny as a rake and injured but he still wouldn't listen to reason.

Sounds like me.

And I'm just going to do what Leo did to me every time I tried to do more then I could … I let him go.

So I proceeded to watch him throw back the covers, twist around so his legs hung off the bed, use the bed head to pull him into a standing position and then watch as his knees buckle and he falls back onto the bed.

I move to help him up.

"Get away from me" he spits, voice full of venom.

So I let him go again. This was how it had become. Leo with the grudge.

Again he pulled himself up into a sitting position, pulled himself up with the beds head and steadies himself. But this time, unlike many others, he doesn't fall.

Surprise blossomed on my face as Leo turns to give me a wicked grin.

But this pulls him off balance and he falls … this time for the floor. This is where I come in. I drop to my knees and catch him before he makes contact. I then change into a cross-legged position and like a little kid, settle him in to my lap. He struggles for a bit but then his struggles cease and he gives in. Tears form in the corners of his eyes.

"Did you hurt something?' I ask.

After awhile he slowly shakes his head. He then turns and faces the opposite wall. I can feel his body shuddering.

'Then what's wrong?"

Whether he didn't hear me or he chose to ignore the question, he remains quiet except for his sniffling. Though it might seem strange sitting on the floor with your brother cradled in your lap, its sort of become the norm for us lately. Not wanting him to have another seizure, anything strenuous is met by a little "quiet time". Leo hates it and we for making him do it … but if he was made to live through the panic of wondering if he'll slip into a seizure, I'm sure he would understand.

After a few minutes when I'm sure all is clear, I slip my arms under him and pick him up. He still doesn't make any hint that he heard me before or that he is displeased that I'm carrying him as we make our way down to the lair. He has just accepted things for the moment and when he does this, he just ignores us.

It's funny to think, all we wanted was our brother back but at the moment, he's being more trying then the old Leo. Or maybe we just got used to the old Leo … we might be expecting too much of the "new" one …

Carrying him down, I settle him onto the couch where he proceeds to turn over so all I can see is his shell. Yep, I'm in the bad books and he's in a sulk. Knowing that there is little I can do, I leave him to his flunk and walk to the kitchen. Something smells good.

* * *

Michelangelo's P.O.V.

Looking up from my 2nd breakfast, I see Raph coming into the kitchen.

"Leo in a poopy?" I ask

"Yep" is all I get.

"Where is he?"

"The couch"

"Are you mad?"

I get an evil look. You can always tell when Leo is in a flunk because Raph is in one … it's like their moods bounce off each other.

"Want me to go to talk to him?" I say, trying to be helpful.

"Let him sleep"

I know when to drop a subject … and now would be a good time.

So we sit in silence, neither of us talking, making eye contact, nothing. Its just like it was before Leo had the seizure, we had lost something.

Hearing movement, I look up to see Donny enter. He's carrying a clipboard and pen and he has that look of "I'm-going-to-unleash-bad-news-on-you". I get ready to leave.

"Raph, can I speak to you?" He sends me a pleading look.

I get the hint and my excuse to leave. Putting the dishes away, I abandon them to their doom and gloom talks while I venture over to the couch.

Looking over the top, I can see Leo is awake and staring aimlessly at the couch back.

"Anything interesting there?" I ask, trying to enlighten the mood.

He shrugs.

Change of topic.

"You wanna watch some TV?"

He shrugs.

"Or play a game?"

He shrugs.

Think enlightenment ... funny … yeah right.

"I got some new comics …"

Another shrug.

I sigh.

"Can't you do anything but shrug?"

I get a sigh from him.

Groaning inwards, I kneel down next to him.

"Leo … wants wrong?"

… nothing

I put my hand on his shoulder and he turns to face me. Lines of tears are running down his face.

"Oh Leo" I murmur as I pull him into a hug. He weakly holds onto me. I rock back a forth as I feel his body shudders from trying to suppress the pain. I can't believe how small he has become, he just moulds into you … yet I'm not surprised, he's not eating much again.

"Please tell me what's wrong" I whisper in his ear. I get no reply.

After awhile, he slowly pulls away. I let him go. He settles himself on the lounge, tries to get comfortable but seems to give up half way through. He just lies sprawled.

I move from the floor and sit on the edge of the couch.

Wiping his eyes, Leo's just lies dejected.

"Why am I so useless?"

Shocked, I reply quickly "Your not useless"

He looks at me

"Your not" I repeat "Your just recovering … slowly"

He looks away.

I place my hand on his shoulder.

"These things just take time" I murmur.

He snorted at me. I suppose this sort of stuff would have sounded funny coming from me …

"Don't laugh" I said "It's what you always told me"

He didn't seem to care. He muttered something. I asked him what he said. Then my stomach dropped.

"… _least you don't get headaches all the time "_

Alarm bells go off in my head … No … this wasn't happening … again. Headaches with Leo usually only mean one thing, a seizure was coming.

I try to stay calm.

"For how long, Leo?"

He turned to me.

"Leo for how long!"

He looked confused as he answered.

"For awhile now but it's been getting worse …"

I grabbed his shoulders, he tensed.

"Worse!" I said "Why didn't you tell us!"

His eyes widened, probably in fright or maybe just at how I was reacting "I .. I .. because …"

But he didn't finish the sentence because his body then arched upwards. He was like an elastic band that had been stretched too far … he snapped.

His eyes widened in pure fright before glazing over and rolling back. His body relaxed … but then began the frightening act of convulsing, head snapping back and forth, body jerking everywhere, froth appearing around his mouth and a gurgling sound in his throat.

I screamed for Donny, knowing what was happening.

His body had dropped into another seizure … again

* * *

Raphael's P.O.V.

It was the same old story. We all heard Mikey's screams for Donny. Everyone bolted for the lounge room, fearing the worst. We find Leo convulsing on the couch, his body being thrown around involuntarily. The minutes of panic follow, with us not having anything to do but watch Leo's silent torture.

Finally, it stops. Donny checks him over, everything seems fine. No wounds have reopened, no bleeding, everything on the outside looks fine. We just have to wait for him to wake up.

I carry Leo upstairs as Master Splinter comforts Mikey and Donny goes to his lab. Settling Leo on his bed, I lay down beside him. We are so helpless to stop this.

Donny enters, this is like a dream. We have been through this so many times that we know the drill backwards. He again checks Leo's breathing, heart beat, then his blood pressure.

Normal … everything seems normal. Yet it is not.

Finished, Donny collapses in a chair.

"This can't keep happening" Donny moans, head in hands. "It will eventually kill him …"

I brush Leo's cheek; see if he is receptive to touch yet. Nothing, he is locked away in his sleepy tomb.

"What can we do?" I murmur

Donny looks up.

"I'm gunna have to operate"

I sigh. Donny had told me this in the kitchen; I told him that it was a bad idea. Now look what had happened.

"When?"

"As soon as he fully wakes up" Donny states, walking over to us on the bed "I've calculated how fast his blood pumps so I might be able to guess where the chunk is. If we can get it out of his blood stream, it will stop the blockages from happening and that will stop the seizures"

I nodded wearily.

"What do you suppose it is?"

Donny looks at me.

"I don't know … a chunk of bone, dead tissue … his identical twin … who knows"

I bowed my head and it rested on Leo's shoulder.

"Is there nothing else we can do?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Donny shake his head.

"Every time this happens, it's damaging him further until he dies or becomes permanently like he was before … That was only a taste of what's to come if the chunk stays in … and this will happen more frequently now that his thinking … processes are more … advanced. He's putting more strain on his brain and that's causing this"

How did Leo make life threatening choices at the drop of a hat like he used to? How did he do it like it was a walk in the park, nothing complex about it?

Feeling his energy radiate off him onto me as I lay beside him, I answer.

"We better start getting ready then"

* * *

(((Present)))

So there we were, several days later, in the dirtiest place imaginable, about to perform surgery on our older brother. Well actually, Don and April did the deed … Mikey, Casey, Master Splinter and I just paced outside hoping everything would go okay.

And for one of the few times lately, it did. Everything went to plan, Leo was given an anesthetic, he fell asleep, Don and April operated on, removed the "chunk", cleaned up and left Leo to recover.

It turned out that the chunk was actually a bit of tissue, knocked loss from somewhere, from where Don doesn't know but that was the cause of all our problems, hardship and pain. A piece of skin. We still haven't decided how to … destroy it. I await the day with pleasure.

But anyhow, that was two weeks ago and Leo was still suffering the effects of the operation. Sure he needed time to recover, get used to not having the "chunk" floating around his body etc but we couldn't wait till life returned to normal normal normal as in normal before everything. Not forgetting what we had learnt and everything but just … normal.

After lunch, I ventured up to Leo's room. Plunking myself in one of the chairs, I didn't have to wait long until he woke up. I could sense that kind of thing now.

He tiredly opened his eyes, gave his head a little shake and then looked at me. I smiled back.

"… morning" he mumbled.

"Actually afternoon but who's keeping track"

Leo groaned.

"How long will I keep sleeping the days away like this?"

"Hey" I said "As long as you're getting better, who cares"

He sneered at me.

"… I hate being sick"

I laughed

"We hate you being sick as well so it's a lose lose situation"

I sat next to him.

"Wanna watch the game on t.v."

Leo shrugged

"Not really"

"How bout we watch it down in the lair instead of up here"

Leo brightened up a bit more.

"Okay"

I laughed.

"Knew you'd see it my way"

Picking him up, we went down to the lair. Placing him on the couch, I went and found a pillow, blanket and got him comfortable before settling down myself.

Soon, Mikey came out and joined us … later followed by Don. And we all squashed ourselves onto the couch. And after the game … enjoying the atmosphere and company too much, we watched a movie … and another movie … and one after that.

And that's how Splinter found us the next morning … all asleep on the couch … not a care in the world.

* * *

Well people im back and i think for longer now then before. Been a long time and i think there is only one - two chapters left for this story. Thanks for waiting and I hope you enjoy. Cant wait for your reviews ;-) 


	18. Chapter 18

Summary: It all started out like any other day … until Leo collapses and suffers a seizure and a stroke. In the passing of a few minutes, their lives will be changed forever. They have faced many challenges in their lives but will this prove to be too much?

Disclaimer: I Own Nothing

* * *

_"Wanna watch the game on t.v."_

_Leo shrugged._

_"Not really"_

_"How bout we watch it down in the lair instead of up here"_

_Leo brightened up a bit more._

_"Okay"_

_I laughed._

_"Knew you'd see it my way"_

_Picking him up, we went down to the lair. Placing him on the couch, I went and found a pillow, blanket and got him comfortable before settling down myself._

_Soon, Mikey came out and joined us … later followed by Don. And we all squashed ourselves onto the couch. And after the game … enjoying the atmosphere and company too much, we watched a movie … and another movie … and one after that._

_And that's how Splinter found us the next morning … all asleep on the couch … not a care in the world._

* * *

Donatello's P.O.V.

Watching Leonardo and Raphael spar, I couldn't help but smile at how 'normal' they looked. Yet this spar was not heated like what 'normal' used to entitle, punches were pulled before they made too much of an impact, kicks were weakened so they did little more than alert the other of their presence. I was also pretty sure, unless something unforeseen happened, no matter the outcome of the spar, nothing bad would come of it.

Nothing bad as in no harsh words, actions, feelings; if so much did not weigh on this spar, if this was just any other spar, I am sure they both would finish, bow, warm down, grab a drink and go watch a movie together. Or maybe play a game on the playstation. They might even go annoy Mickey in the kitchen for something to eat. However, no matter what they did, it would be together.

Not that Mikey and I would be excluded, I am sure if we would want to join, we would be most welcomed. I am also quite certain, even if we did not appear like we wanted to join, we would be asked anyway.

Not only with Leonardo's stroke did Raphael gain a new role, he gained a long lost best friend. Leonardo has gained much too, yet he has also lost.

For one, after recovering enough from his operation to train, it was devastating for him to discovery that he could no longer use his twin katana's. The look on his face when he continually tried to pick up his katana, only to drop them still twists my stomach in knots. We all knew the continual strokes had weakened his left side considerably, we however, had not realized by how much. If so, we might have been able to spare him from the discovery, if not, maybe weakened the terrible blow. It certainly threw him for awhile; he lost a bit of his spark. He did not think we knew, yet we had realized that he retreated to his room to lift weights, trying to regain some strength. However it was all in vain as his left side remained weak and after a couple of weeks, we found his katana's discarded in the dojo.

Leonardo always treated his blades with respect and to abandon them in the dojo, not place them on their racks or at least house them in the sheaths, was a sure sign that Leonardo had given up on them. Anyway, Raphael rescued them, showed them the respect they deserved and presented them to Master Splinter. I'm not sure what happened afterwards but I am sure Master Splinter took good care of them. I am sure he has some kind of plan. I feel they should go back on display, not be hidden away like a curse, a taint on a good memory, however that is just my opinion.

Another change is Leonardo now sleeps more than the rest of us. He may not be the first to go to bed however he is always the last to rise. He also does not wake up easily, or is the most pleasant person in the morning. We thought it might have been a side effect of the operation however, when it did not go away, we realized it was permanent. The only difference it has made is that we now have morning practice after breakfast. Morning practice used to also be the most vigorous of our practice session but it is now quite placid compared to our evening session, which has now become much more demanding.

Alongside the loss of his katana and his sleepiness, another change comes about when Leonardo is tired. It is a relief I suppose, that it does only happen when he is tired. Anyway, when Leonardo is tired, he has a tendency to do … stupid things. Maybe stupid is not a good word, it certainly is not scientific and I do not mean to insult my brother in any way, just it is hard to explain without using words such as stupid, silly, accidental etc. Maybe it can be better explained through examples.

For example, when Leonardo is tired, you can find he has accidentally put dirty dishes in the fridge, food in the sink and tries to change t.v. channels with the stereo remote. Nothing disastrous, I am sure we have all done likewise at some stage and realized our errors. The only problem is Leonardo does not realize what he is doing. Again for example, he will sit for minutes on end, attempting to change the channel on the television while the stereo is swapping discs, changing stations, going up and down in volume etc. It will not occur to Leonardo that he is the responsible or that he has the wrong remote. He will only realize when someone comes and rescues him.

Though funny, in a not so funny sort of way, I have another example.

When Leonardo is tired, he will sometimes walk into the wrong bedroom, intent on going to bed, and will either find the room's original occupant in the bed, somewhere within the room or the room is empty. If the bed is full, he has an annoying habit of fixing that. Nothing is like being woken up from a deep sleep to find someone leaning over you asking why you are in their bed. Apart from the shock, it gets annoying when it is the third time that night. On the other side, if he wanders into the wrong room while the occupant is still awake, he is just redirected to his rightful room. Only does it get fun when he finds the bed empty. Again, nothing is like having finished a hard day's work to walk into your own room, your sanctuary, to pull back your bed cover … and find someone else already fast asleep in your bed.

AND with Leonardo having trouble waking up, it is virtually impossible to move him. Then, there is only one of two choices; a) go and sleep on the couch or b) make room for yourself on your own bed and slide in beside him.

Last of all, another change seems to be that Leonardo has not got such a strong hold over his emotions anymore. He is quicker to anger, to lash out, say hurtful things and then retreat back into his shell. Though he cannot hold a grudge as well as Raphael can, him being a champion, he can still make you feel pretty cruddy and unwanted over the smallest of things. It also happens in the reverse with him quicker to be sad, depressed, sometimes dissolve into tears etc. Ill never say it to him but I do think he is subconsciously used to getting his own way i.e. when he was sick, a lot of the time he got away with murder, and now he just seems to expect it. You could possibly say we spoilt him, even though it is an awful thing to say. And like any spoilt child, all hell breaks loose when he does not get his own way.

However, as you can see, apart from a few hiccups along the way, he does seem to be getting along just fine.

I wish I could say that for the Foot Clan. Once we felt safe enough leaving Leonardo in Sensei's hands, we surfaced to find New York in chaos's. Well not all of New York but the underworld was. Leonardo finishing off old tin head had upset the power balance of not only the Foot Clan but every other gang which called New York 'theirs'. To make matters worse, it seems the Shredder had an adopted daughter, who came over from Japan, upon his death, to take on the role of leader.

However, she was not fast enough to stop Hun making a grab for power. Eventually, the Foot Clan and the Purple Dragons split, parting ways with their only shared goal being the totally annihilation of the other. But this split weakened both their holds over the local gangs, who began to fight against them for independence, to fight each other and amongst themselves. War spilt onto the streets with the dark alleys and bars erupting in drive-bys, street battles and an all out struggle for power.

Breaking away from my thoughts, I see the sparring match between Leonardo and Raphael has turned out into an all out wrestle. Yet, for a change, they were laughing.

* * *

Leonardo's P.O.V.

I had dominated the spar, well I lie; we had been pretty much even until towards the end, when I had been able to pull ahead. Raphael began to be more on the defensive then the attack until, he finally slipped …

Stumbling from my round house kick, I pressed the offensive and swept his feet out from underneath him. He let out a startled cry as he crashed to the floor. I quickly leapt on top of him, pinning him, hoping he would just give up as we both knew I did not have the strength to hold him down for long.

Luckily for me, after only a few seconds of testing my strength, Raphael relaxed, settling his head onto the cement.

"You win"

Getting off him and extending my hand down to help him up, I could not help but tease.

"Duh, how else would you explain it?"

Quick as a flash, he latched onto my hand and yanked, sending me crashing to the floor. Clambering on top of me, he blocked a frantic punch I threw at his face before I managed to buck my hips, nearly tossing him off. We wrestled for a few minutes, before Raphael was able to effectively pin me down. That's when he got an evil glint in his eye and I just knew.

"No" I said, hoping to put enough command in my voice to make him stop.

His grin widened.

"NO"

I saw it forming at the corner of his mouth.

"NO!"

I began to scream as his spit bubble grew and lengthened until it dangled out of his mouth, gravity demanding that it slowly begin to slide towards me.

"MIKEY! DONNY! HELP! HELP!"

Struggling madly, I screamed for help, any kind of help. Thrashing around, I could just see out of the corner of my eye, Mikey doubled over, laughing at my misfortune, himself being the victim enough times to find the humour in it. Tossing my head the other way, I saw Donny had gone back to his book. He would be of no help.

Turning back, still screaming, I saw 'it' was only centimetres from my face. I reached for my last resort, screaming as loudly as I could.

"MASTER SPLINTER!"

Raphael snickered but stopped in his tracks, slowly dragging his disgusting trail of spit back into his mouth, wiping the remnants away with the back of his hand. He moved off me and I sat up. I punched him in the shoulder when he began to chuckle at me.

"That's so gross!"

He gives me a soft shove as he gots up.

"Doesn't stop you using the same tactic"

I went to retaliate but shut my mouth. We both knew it was true. Raphael smirked at me before walking over to one of our benches, me following. Grabbing a water bottle, he downed most of it in one go before towelling himself off.

"You'll get a stomach ache doing that" I scolded, before doing likewise. He only grinned back at me before wiping his mouth again with the back of his hand.

"You did good today" he said.

"Bull"

Raphael looked at me in shock before settling on confusion.

"I wiped the floor with you and you better tell Splinter no different"

Raphael grunted again before turning away from me.

"I wouldn't say wiped …"

I grabbed his shoulder and attempted to turn him back to me but did not have the strength. However, the movement did make him turn back around. I looked him squarely in the eye.

"You never were completely on the offensive, the amount of times you only just blocked one of my punches and don't get me started on –"

"Fine, you did do good day" he butted in "But I'm worried about tomorrow and the day after. Today was a good day but you have just as many good as bad"

"Arrgh" I exclaimed "How many times do I have to prove to you that I'm ready! We've been over this again and again! I need this Raphael! Why can't you see that?"

"Because I'm worried about you! You don't know what it was like all those times-"

"Don't start that again" I snapped back angrily.

"But it's true!" he says, appearing calmer about the whole situation then I was "We're only doing this for your own safety, n-not to imprison you or …"

"Sure feelings like it" I snarled at him, not meaning to let so much emotion into my voice. He goes to speak again.

"How many?" I interrupted.

He looked at me confused.

"How many more times do I have to prove to you that I. Am. Ready!"

Sheepishly, he answered.

"… once more"

I snorted as I threw my bottle back onto the bench, the lid not on properly, evident as what water was left emptied onto the dojo floor. Raphael began to speak "Leo …", but I just snorted again and elbowed past him, making my way over to the t.v.'s. I threw myself onto the lounge, on the opposite side to Donny and pound a few pillows. I could see Donny watching me over the top of his book.

"What do you want?" I snarled at him, instantly feeling guilty at the look on his face. Muttering something about how he could be wrong, he turned back to his book.

Still feeling bad, I pounded a few more cushion to work out some of my guilt before settling down and curling up around one of my previous punching bags. Pinpricks began to form at the corners of my eyes and I hastily wiped them away, hoping nobody had seen them. Yet more began to join.

Movements later, Raphael appeared and hesitantly knelt in front of me so I had no where to look except into his face. I instead fixed my vision onto the pillows that I was laying on, hoping he would just go away.

He reached forward, placing his hand on my shoulder. "Leo …"

I roughly brush him off and burrow a bit further into the cushions.

Raphael sighed. "Leo look –"

"Just leave me alone" I said, ashamed at how my voice wobbled.

"You know I can't do that" he replied as he moved and sat alongside me. I tried to move away but could not go far as my shell was pushed up against the backrest. He reached forward and brushed away the few tears that have escaped my eyes. 'I used to be able to hide emotion' I thought bitterly to myself, 'now look at me'.

"Leo, I know it is hard –"

"Drop it Raph," I said, bitterness forcing me to lash out again, "go and tell Master Splinter whatever you want. Do whatever you got to do … just leave me out of it"

I did not need to be able to see Raphael to know that I had hurt him. It was in the way he drew back a little, the way he slowly stood and walked away. Though on the surface I still pulsed with anger, deep down, I felt incredibly guilty. I knew him and Master Splinter only did it to keep me safe, because they love me and all that but I could not help but lash out. All I wanted was some of my independence back, was that too much to ask? All I was ever told was "your not ready", "maybe next time" and finally, "once more".

I jumped as a blanket was laid over me. Startled, I snapped my eyes up, only to find a sad smile on Raphael's face as he pulled the covers up to my chin. He cupped my cheek for a few seconds before rubbing his finger across it, wiping away a few stray tears before turning away. Moving towards the t.v., he plugged in the PS2, selected some random game, threw a controller to a startled Donny, who only realized when it thudded against his book, slouched into one of our random chairs and began to play. Glancing at the screen, I saw it was some wrestling game. Settling back into the lounge, I drifted off to sleep, laughter surrounding me alongside playful banter …

**

* * *

(((Hours Later)))**

I woke up some hours later as Donny resettled himself next to me on the couch, reading book in one hand, and a cup of soup in the other.

"Sorry" he whispers when he notices I am awake.

Muttering an assurance that it was "okay", I began to settle back into slumber.

"Seeming your awake, you might as well drink this" Donny says, pushing the cup of soup under my nose. I go to refuse but my stomach lets out a loud rumble. I smile sheepishly and accept it with a "thanks".

As I drink, feeling the warmth flow into me, I notice how quite the lair is.

"Where is everyone?" I ask.

Donny looks up from his book. "I think Mikey is reading his comics in his room and Raph is talking to Splinter"

"oh"

I hear Donny sign as he puts aside his book once again.

"You know we only does this because we care?"

I shifted uncomfortably "… I know"

"So you shouldn't be so hard on us"

I feel the head rising in my cheeks and it was not from the soup. I pretended to have not heard the question and directed all my attention back at the soup.

"Leo?"

I let out a loud sigh. "I know"

And I did. I knew the only reason I was not allowed me to rejoin my brothers on the surface was, because they cared. I knew the only reason I was no longer allowed to take part in training runs, to be allowed to wander the surface by myself and to fight was, because they cared.

It was not long after I discovered I could no longer lift my katana's that Master Splinter asked me to join him in his room for a "talk". I knew Master Splinter did not want to do what he had to, I knew it was hurting him inside to have to tell me that it was for my own safety that I was no longer able to lead my brothers, that I was no longer able to be apart of the team, that I was no longer able to be a "working ninja". I no longer being able to wield my katana's had sealed my doom.

Yet even with this knowledge, even though, I knew, the exact moment I gave up on my katana's that all hopes of me ever being a ninja again had vanished, even though I knew within myself that if I was to rejoin my brothers, something might happen, one day, one of my blackouts might result in my death of one of my brothers, or maybe in one of my "silly moods" as Donny has labelled them, I might have forget what I am doing and who knows, walked off a building or something.

I knew all this, yet I am ashamed to say, it did not stop me throwing a tantrum. There I was, seventeen years of age, yet acting like I was seven. Hurling abuse at my Master, at the top of lungs, smashing his belongings, tearing down scrolls from his wall, lashing out at Raphael and Mikey when they crashed into the room, wondering what was happening, lashing out whenever they tried to get close. In the end, not for anybody else's safety but my own, Raphael tackled me and pinned me to the ground while Donny struck with one of his sedative needles and I do not remember anything until I woke up two days later in my room. Then I just sat there and cried. I was no longer part of the team. You could possibly say I was no longer a "ninja turtle".

Anyway, I refused to talk to anybody for days. I would not eat, I would not drink. I nearly had Donny in tears one evening because I kept spitting out my medication. Even when Raphael tried to force feed it into me, I just sat there, biting his fingers and kicking out at him. Even when Mikey joined the fight, him and Donny pinning me down while Raphael worked my jaw, trying to get it open, I did all I could to stop them. Eventually, they gave up.

Well I thought they had, they came back in the middle of the night and before I knew what was happening, I'd swallowed the tablet along with half a gallon of water Raphael poured down my throat for good measure. I was coughing for the next half an hour.

The next morning Master Splinter made a rare visit to my room. He tried to speak to me, saying that he wished it could have been any other way; that he was sorry for what he had to do, that he knew I knew, deep down, that he was right. I told him to get out. He tried to console me some more but this time I screamed at him and burst into tears. Instead of leaving me as frankly, I think he should have done, he sat beside me on the bed and held me while I cried. I must have cried myself to sleep because I awake later to find him gone but his presence still remaining.

I had a long hard think to myself yet I always came back to the same answer, if anything ever happened and it was my fault, if my selfish choice to stay a ninja, to remain part of the team brought about the death of one of my little brothers, I would never forgive myself. And I would be powerless. I would not be able to seek revenge on those responsible, I would just have to live out the rest of my life knowing I had killed one of my family. It was then I made the decision.

Life was hard for the first few weeks after that. I was still allowed to train, I still sparred with my brothers and was punished if I did not attended practice or was late, but I always had to watch them fade off into the night on a training run, knowing I would never be allowed to join them. At first I tried to amuse myself by going into their rooms while they were gone, not really doing anything but just leaving tell tale signs that I'd been in there, knocking over Donny's project papers, mixing up Mikeys comic books and even going as far as to push Raphael's punching bag over, though that was more of an accident as I had tripped, grabbed it for support but knocked it over instead. I was deliberately invading their personal space, however, they never rose to the bait, the tactics soon lost their appeal and I just went to bed early those nights.

However as time wore on, I was given a new goal. I understood I could not go above ground on training runs but what about by myself? Just for a look around, to get some fresh air. It was around this time I had discovered I was a bit of an artist. Naturally, I wanted to paint the New York skyline at night, maybe sketch a few trees at dusk, learn how to properly show the affect of the moon on a still pond. I went to Master Splinter with this idea.

His answer, no.

I walked out of his room to find Raphael and Mikey, standing ready at the door in case things got out of hand again and Donny quickly trying to hide a syringe no doubt filled with a sedative. I settled some of my anger by shoving past them all, going up to my room and smashing a few of my possessions.

However, a few days later when I had calmed down, Raphael came to me with a new proposition. If I could prove that I could hold my own in a fight, enough so I could protect myself long enough for help to arrive, if I promised to always carry my shellcell at all times with a tracking device in it and if I promised to never go out of a certain area, I might be allowed to go topside. I quickly agreed, a grin already forming on my face. Then he told me the last term ...

someone must be with me at all times.

Temper Tantrum number two.

The main points I covered within my tantrum was I a) did not need a babysitter, b) I could defend myself just fine c) how dare he think I needed a babysitter d) I was not a child restricted to "zones" e) he could shove his baby-sitting idea and I tried to emphasis point e) by attempting to punch him in the face to show I was strong enough to hold my own. Raphael easily dodged, well honestly be barely even moved, and then punched me back.

When the room stopped spinning and I realized I was on the floor, Mikey looking down at me while Donny had a fit at Raphael, I also realized Raphael had barely touched me. There was not even much of a bruise. Raphael was just demonstrating to me why I needed "watching", even a small hit; something that no Foot Clan member would ever think to give me had knocked me for a six. He may have regretted it though, after Donny finished with him but the point had been made. Without much ground to stand on, I agreed to the term.

Now all I had to do was prove I could fight.

That was what the spar had been about today, proving I could fight enough to be allowed to go topside. With a "minder", a "babysitter", a "nanny". Mind you, there was this one time I went topside alone …

I couldn't help but snigger at the memory.

Donny turned to me, one eyebrow raised. "What?"

Trying not to snigger again, seeming I nearly upended my soup the last time, I turned to him.

"I was just remembering the time I snuck out of the lair ..."

* * *

Hello everyone,

I apologise for my loooong absence. Cant believe it has been a couple of years. I again apologise, I know what it is like to wait for a story to be ended and for it to appear like it never will. All good things do come to an end though. On the bright side, I have updated ;) YAY! While I am just tying up and tying off the story, there are still a couple of short chapters to go, hopefully they will be worth the wait. I have also gone through and proof read the rest of this story. While I cannot say it is perfect, it certainly is alot better, I hope. Anyway, I hope you have enjoyed. Thank you to all the people who have reviewed, while I may have not been updating, the reviews I kept receiving were a constant reminder to finish this story ;) Thank you.


	19. Chapter 19

Summary: It all started out like any other day … until Leo collapses and suffers a seizure and a stroke. In the passing of a few minutes, their lives will be changed forever. They have faced many challenges in their lives but will this prove to be too much?

Disclaimer: I Own Nothing

Notes: Hello again everyone. I thought I would shock you all by updating really quickly ;) I also realized little happened in the last chapter so hopefully this one is a bit more appealing. I had to break the next few chapters up because they totaled about 30 pages which is a little too much to read on one go. Anyway, I had fun writing this chapter so I hope everyone enjoys. Also, please review, constructive criticism welcomed, general review just saying "Hi" are enjoyed! ;)

_

* * *

I couldn't help but snigger at the memory._

_Donny turned to me, one eyebrow raised. "What?"_

_Trying not to snigger again, seeming I nearly upended my soup the last time, I turned to him._

"_I was just remembering the time I snuck out of the lair .."_

* * *

Leonardo's P.O.V.

I suppose I should not call it "the time" because it only happened fairly recently, as in about two-three months ago. Around this time, I was no longer bedridden; were suffering no more side effects of the operation, well not anything that was not considered normal or permanent, and had just recently begun my training again. It was not soon after that Master Splinter would give me the bad news but I was none the wiser.

However it was around this time I learnt I was no longer able to use my katana. I was pretty devastated, after all I had been through, all the battles, training, I thought my katana's and I were inseparable. I also knew deep down, if I was no longer able to wield my katana, there went my place as a ninja in this clan.

Anyway, alongside this issue, I had to deal with my brothers. Now I love my brothers dearly and deeply and that will never change, but it was at this time that I needed them to take a step back and give me some breathing space.

They, of course, did not.

If Donny was not constantly monitoring me for any signs of illness; Mikey was trying to get me to cook with him or play a game or was asking me if everything was okay and if that failed; Raphael was there to drag me out of the dojo; confiscate my weights; make sure I was eating properly; that I was doing something; that I was okay. It went on and on and on until I felt like no matter where I turned, one of my brothers was there waiting, no matter what I did, one of my brothers was there in case I needed help, no matter where I went, one of my brothers were checking on what I was doing, how I was doing it, where, why, how. I felt like I was the star of my very own personal "Big Brother".

I was not even alone when I slept because one of my brothers always insisted on sleeping in the same room in case I ran into any trouble or I was hungry or the roof fell in on me or I disappeared.

Anyhow, it all came to a head one evening. The night before, in a fit of rage, I'd thrown my katana out my bedroom to the dojo below. Master Splinter had allowed Don, Mikey and Raph to go out on a training run while I was left at home. I was not in a good mood anyway. Without even asking, Raph had decided to invite April and Casey to keep me "company" while they were gone. I had however been looking forward to some time alone where I could do whatever I wanted, when I wanted without one of my brothers looking over my shoulder every two seconds. So when Raphael told me his plan, I quickly informed him of 'thanks' but 'no thanks' and that I was rather tired and wished more than anything to just go to bed.

Well, that caused an uproar.

As I had become rather a 'late going to bed person', the very idea that I would want to go to bed at 8pm at night caused a panic. Before I knew it, Donny had run off to get the first aid kit, Mikey was leading me to a chair and Raphael was checking my temperature. After fighting off the first two but being made to sit through one of Donny's checkups, it was found that I was indeed not sick, ill or dying and that maybe, just maybe, I just wanted to go to bed.

Not for any life-threatening reason but just because I wanted to.

Eventually after half an hour of interrogation, they left with a promise they would not be long. So, with the lair all to myself, I bid Master Splinter "goodnight" and went up to my room, intent on lifting as many weights as was humanly possible in the short blissful time I would have by myself.

An hour later, after another, what I would call, gruelling workout, I was drenched in sweat but feeling very much alive. It was the third time I'd been about to sneak one in, away from the prying eyes if my brothers. I could almost feel all my previous strength returning, feeling as if I'd finished a five hour workout instead of a forty-five minute one. I finally felt ready to take up my katana again.

Moving over to their rake on which they were placed, I eyed them greedily before snaking my hand out to grasp one. I could just see my brothers eyes light up when they returned home tonight to see me standing waiting to greet them, twin katana strapped to my back. Maybe I would even perform a kata, the forms already playing in my mind.

Settling my excitement, I began to pull them from the sheaths, only to have them both fall from my grasp, just like every other time, just as if I had not been lifting weights for the last two weeks. Time seemed to slow, the way they fell from my grasp, the startled cry of Splinter as he raced out of his room, calling my name and asking what was wrong, not what had happening. Like it was my fault.

Without even thinking, I stuttered out an answer something about tripping over on my way back from the bathroom, silly me, just tired, want to go to sleep etc. He eventually accepted this, I heard him go back into his room but I still stood above my katana's, my broken dreams. It was only when blood from a nick in my finger, probably sustained when my swords fell, began to drip onto the ground, did I snap.

Seeming only seconds before I had been unable to even pick them up, I am not quite sure how I managed but soon enough, I was listening to my katana's clatter to the dojo floor below. This was however muffled by the sound of the sewer door opening and my brothers return. Fighting back tears, I crawled into bed and listened to my brothers discover my katana's. Eventually, after much discussion, Rapheal took my blades to Master Splinter while Donny and Mikey went to bed. I feigned sleep when Donny came into my room as he was sharing with me that night. He did not turn on the lights and it startled me when I felt him pull my blankets up so they covered me better. He then lay down on the other bed and was soon asleep, on the other hand, I was awake for most of the night.

Nothing was said about the incident the next day yet my brothers were even more "protective" and "annoying" then usual. So after my bad night and subsequent bad day, I was not in the best of moods come that evening, something my brothers soon picked up on.

"What's wrong Leo?" Mikey asked me for what felt like the hundredth time.

"Nothing" I muttered, shoving my plate away from me, not feeling hungry anymore.

"Now I know something is wrong" he said smiling "You're always liked Macaroni and Cheese"

"Not anymore" I thought to myself "especially since I've been having it day in and day out". I must have had a perplexed look on my face because Mikey then leant over and said, "Leo, what's wrong"

"NOTHING" I cried, shoving my chair back so hard it toppled over. "For the love of pete, I'm fine!"

"You don't sound too fine" said Raphael as he entered the kitchen, still wiping sweat off himself with a towel after a workout in the dojo. I looked at him in envy; I still wasn't allowed to take part in practice or to train on my own. I moved to pick up my chair.

"Nothing is the matter" I muttered as I tried to stand the chair upright, "I'm fine". However I was having trouble with getting the chair to balance. I wriggled to back and worth yet for something with four legs; it just continued to want to fall over.

"Maybe I broke it" I thought to myself.

Raphael cleared his throat "Um Leo … bro" I looked at him; he seemed to be fidgeting a little. I gave him a questioning look.

"It goes the other way …"

Only then did I focus all my attention on the chair and sure enough, I was trying to stand the chair on its head. Stunned for a few seconds, I gave a cry, threw the chair back to the ground and stormed out of the kitchen. Donny appeared at the door to his lab to investigate the commotion.

"Leo is everything –"

"Fine Donny!" I yelled as I marched past "Everything is BLOODY fine!"

I march over to my subway cart, brush past the curtains and hide inside. I shouldn't really call it my subway cart as Donny has reclaimed it as a storing facility yet I sometimes can find a little peace in here. I also like looking at the pictures; I always find a new one. Scanning the cascades of colour and memories, I soon fix on one I took myself, a long time ago. It is a picture of the New York skyline, well part of it from one of the buildings. This picture did not just represent beauty but to someone who was locked in a cage, freedom. That's when I made up my mind.

Stealing silently out of the carts, I heard Mikey, Raphael and Donny conversing in the kitchen. Creeping over to Master Splinters room, I could just barely hear the sound of his breaths, he must be meditating.

Creeping over to the bathroom door, I quietly opened it and shouted, "I'M HAVING A SHOWER!" before slamming it with all my might. Praying none of my brothers would come out to investigate whether the door was still on its hinges, I hurried over to the sewer entrance, conveniently open, as the doors echo covered the sound of my departure. Running with a new enthusiasm, I made for the closest sewer hole, scaled the ladder, popped the lid, waited only for a few seconds to make sure the coast was clear before climbing the nearest fire escape ladder and bounding across the rooftops away from all my troubles.

Fast forward a few hours and I was as happy as Larry. Laying on one of the rooftops admiring what few stars I could see, I greedily at the salty, greasy chips I'd been able to … "release" the chip man of. After months of living on healthy rabbit food or Macaroni and chips with hardly any pizza, chips, soft drinks etc, I felt like I was in heaven.

How I missed the taste of junk food! Of the salt and the grease and the fat and all those beautiful, beautiful things I had been denied.

Reaching for my drink which I had "released" the chip man of also, I greedily drank in the spearmint milkshake. Moaning with pleasure, I finished it off in no time. Feeling incredibly content, I decided a short visit to April was on the cards, before I faced the impeding wrath of my siblings. I knew they would probably kill me for this but at the moment, I felt it was worth the punishment.

Idly jumping from rooftop to rooftop, chasing pigeons wherever I saw any and just plain fooling around, it was not long before I reached April's apartments. Glancing into her window, I saw she seemed to be talking frantically to someone on the phone. Getting a sinking feeling, I gently knocked on her window.

Admitting a scream, she whirled around. Spotting me, I saw her shout my name through the glass to which I gave a weak smile. Shouting something into the phone, she hung up and rushed over to the window. When she had finally opened it, I barely had moved before she was dragging me into her apartment and crushing me in a fierce hug.

Babbling in my ear, I could barely make out what she was saying before she drew back and slapped me across the face. Taken by surprise, I stumbled and nearly landed on the floor.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry Leo" she exclaimed, going into older sister mode and hurrying to my side. "Are you okay?"

Waiting for the ringing to stop in my ears, I slowly nodded my head.

"Well then I should slap you again" she said fiercely, leading me over to her couch. "Do you have any idea how worried everyone has been?" I thought Mikey was going to have a heart attack on the phone! When they found out you were gone, they all panicked"

"I only went out to get some fresh air" I muttered, suddenly feeling like I should not have drunk that milkshake.

"You should have told someone Leo!" she exclaimed "you were gone for hours. You'll be lucky if Raph doesn't lock you up and throw away the key!"

Suddenly fearing my red banded brother, I quickly asked "Where is he?"

"Who? Raph" April asked, getting up, closing the window and moving over to her kitchen "He's on his way over now"

My stomach dropped. "There's no way I'm getting home alive" I thought "No way, Raphael is going to kill me!"

April came back over to me with a cup of tea and on seeing me; probably a paler shade of green than usual, chuckled.

"You should know by now Leo" she said, putting down the cups and giving me a quick hug, "You do the crime, you do the time"

I did not have to wait for Raphael for long. I heard him long before I saw him and there were many telltale signs spelling out the simple truth, he was pissed. Judging by the screeching that the BattleShell was making, he must have road the clutch the whole way over. He also slammed onto the skids, bring the BattleShell to a screeching halt, right outside the door. Anyway, if this did not tell me he was really upset, the abuse he screamed at the poor lady who left her garbage out for Rapheal to trip over did. It was about this time, when my palms began to sweat and I began to shake from fright bad enough that April went and got me a blanket, thinking I was cold, that I began to realize that sneaking out might not have been such a good idea.

Fearing for my safety and knowing Casey was one of the few people who could hold Raphael off in one of his rages, I turned shakily to April.

"Where's Casey?" I asked my voice barely more than a squeak.

"Out searching for you" She said firmly before leaving me and heading to her front door, presumably to let Raphael in.

"I'm dead" I thought, the chips doing flip flops in my stomach, threatening to make a reappearance "I'm so dead"

Rationalizing that I had been a big enough idiot for the night and just a little bit more stupidity would not kill me, I waited until April was out of sight before scrambling over to her balcony window, intent on running away before Raphael got me.

Yanking open the blinds, I let out a girly scream when Raphael's furious face leered out at me from the other side of the window. Apparently he did not use the stairs. I fearfully backed away, knocking over a lamp in the process as Raphael picked Aprils window lock. With a forceful yank, he opened the window and climbed in. I wanted to throw up.

Veins protruding all over his temples, fists clenching and unclenching, teeth grinding so hard I could hear them from over my side of the room, he looked like a ticking time bomb. He swung his arm and pointed out the door.

"You. Van. _NOW_"

Without even thinking, I obeyed. Hardly able to walk, I stumbled out of Aprils apartment, down the stairs into her shop, passed April on my way out the door, her giving me a small smile as I passed, me attempting not to throw up at her feet and got into the Battleshell.

Fumbling with my seatbelt, I barely had it on before Raphael wrenched open his door, slammed it shut, yanked his seatbelt into place, nearly stabbed the van with the keys, revved the motor and roared out of Aprils driveway.

If his erratic and dangerous driving did not alert me to the fact that Raphael was angry, the protruding veins on his forehead; the way he crunched the gears; the grinding of his teeth; narrowed eyes to merely slits; his complete disregard for pedestrians, other motorists and traffic rules and the clenching of his fingers on the steering wheel were all a good indication. Fearing for my life, I watched as yet another red light flashed past in a fury of protests and horns from motorists. Glancing over at Raphael, I was nearly thrown from my seat as he slammed on the brake, narrowly missing a turning car. I could not take it anymore …

"Raph –"

He exploded. He exploded with the force of ten nuclear weapons.

"WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE" He bellowed, nostrils flaring, spit flying everywhere "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT WE WENT THROUGH! SHOWER EMPTY, ROOM DESERTED, NO WEAPONS, NO PHONE, NO #%&ing NOTE!"

And this continued the whole way home, him screaming at me, my little brother, the hot head, the rebel, spit flying everywhere, me trying to hold down my prized meal from beforehand, me wishing I could slide into the floor and disappear, me wishing I had never left the lair. By the time we swerved into the warehouse above our home, I had the worst headache and Raphael's voice had gone hoarse. He could barely even look at him, let alone keep yelling at me.

Scrambling out of my seat, I swung open the door to be confronted by a stern looking Master Splinter and two very solemn looking brothers. I contemplated just shutting the door but a rough shove from behind sent me stumbling out. When I had regained my footing, I just stood there, unsure what to do, unable to look anywhere but at the ground. I was too ashamed and frightened. I could hear fathers tail thrashing around like an enraged snake, Raphael's harsh breathing, wheezing like he had run for ten miles instead of screamed at me for several blocks.

"Come"

That was all Master Splinter said yet I knew I was about to get in more trouble than I had ever been in and would probably ever be in.

And I was right.

Grounded until told otherwise. No t.v., no playstation, no computer, no stereo, I had everyone's chores for a month, one whole month of all of the cleaning, cooking, sewing duties. I was to be in bed by 9 pm and up by 8. It did not matter whether I could sleep or not, I was to be in bed. The only reason Splinter did not have me getting up at 6 am was with my new erratic sleeping habits patterns, it would not have been healthy. I was to help Donny on his lab whenever he needed it, I was at the beck and call of my brothers and I was to write an essay on "Why I was in trouble and why I would never do it again", with no assistance. None whatsoever.

For the first time in months, even the ones I could not remember, I went to bed alone. Nobody shared my room that night; I think they were all too angry, disgusted and hurt. I'd gone from not being able to escape my brothers to doing everything I could to get their attention back.

The next few days were awful. Raphael would not acknowledge me, Donny barely spoke to me and Mikey only did talk in short, clipped tones. I was too ashamed to look at Sensei. Instead of sharing my rabbit food diet, I was made to cook "normal" food for everyone else but I had to eat my own specially prepared "healthy" meals. Basically, I ate salad while everyone else had steak. I munched on apples while everyone else had chips. I wasn't even allowed tea. That second night too, nobody shared my room. I'm ashamed to say I cried myself to sleep. I half did not want to get up the next morning but the idea of Raphael coming to get me soon got me moving.

However, as the days went by, life got a little better. Mikey can never stay angry at anyone for too long and Donny holds grudges like a broken bucket holds water. Raphael on the other hand can hold a grudge as easily as breathing.

While Mikey and Donny were talking to me and sometimes helping me with my chores when Splinter was not looking, Raphael would not raise a finger to help. He even went out of his way to make his messes bigger. While Mikey gave me comic books to read and Donny found some paints and a few art books to help me pass the time, Raphael would watch t.v. and listen to the radio at full volume so I would know what I was missing. While Mikey and Donny would pull punches and kicks during practice, seeming I had been banned from any extra training and was out-of-shape, Rapheal seemed to take great pleasure in making his attacks hit home and hit hard. I did everything I could think of to please him. I cooked all of his favourite meals, cleaned his room, made sure all of his chores were done first in case I forgot some, continually sharpened his sais, continued sewed up the punching bag every time he split it open, washed his few clothes and hammock, anything I could possibly do, I did, yet he paid me as little attention as a passing fly.

I was beginning to get desperate when, three weeks after I snuck out of the lair, I fell asleep in one of Raphael's armchairs in his room, while again sharpening his sai's. I however was sometime later awoken by the feeling of sharp metal under my chin, convincing me to slowly tilt my head back. Fearfully opening my eyes, I found the threatening metal was one of Raphael's sai's and he was the bearer. To afraid to talk in case he slipped, I let him idly toy with me. Eventually, he spoke.

"I'm only going to tell you this once, so you better listen up" He said "We love you. I love you and we've been through too much shit together for you to go and pull such a stupid stunt. If you've ever got a problem, you tell us, got it?"

Watchful of his sai, I careful nodded, slightly stunned at his words but also stunned that it was Raphael who was saying them.

Making sure the message had sunk in; he paused before raising the sai again threateningly.

"And if you ever pull another stunt like that again, I'll kill you"

Not knowing whether to nod or not, I did however breathe a sigh of relief when he pulled his sai away and extended his hand to me. Grasping it, I was pulled into a bone breaking hug. Enjoying the warmth and comfort after having none for so long, I nearly missed it when he whispered in my ear,

"You have no idea how scared we were when we realised you were gone. We thought anything could have happened. I thought I had lost you again"

Heat rising in my checks as guilt washed over me, all I could murmur was an assurance that I would never do it again. Seeming to accept this, Raphael let me go.

"You go get some sleep" he said "I'll finish up here"

Smiling gratefully, I left his room and headed for my own. Sinking in to my covers, I could not help but let out a relieved sigh. Life it seemed was getting back to normal. And when I woke up the next morning, to find Raphael fast asleep in the other bed, which had been vacant for weeks, I could not help but smile.

Though I found the whole incident slightly amusing, this side of it and definitely not during, the look I received from Donatello on mention of the incident told me clearly, my brothers still did not find it funny. Fearing I would receive another lecture on "how scared they had been", I quickly continued with "And I was also thinking about my disasters in the kitchen".

Donatello gave a chuckle, "You certainly are no master chief" he said "But you do know how to cook all of Raphael's favourite dishes fairly well"

Grinning sheepishly, I went back to my soup.

"However" he continued, picking up his book "You have become quite the Leonardo" and with that, he descended into the realm of reading from which nothing short of a nuclear boom would awake him.

His last comment might have sounded strange however with a little explanation, the meaning is quite clear. As I had to find ways to occupy myself during my "groundation", after trying out several possibilities, I sampled art. I have been hooked ever since. I paint, sketch, sew, draw, molded with clay, you name it, I've done, are going to do it or it does not exist.

Instead of being bare with a few bits of scattered furniture and my weapons, my room is now cluttered with art supplies and 'projects'. Even a few of my paints have made it into the walls of the lair, something I am very proud of. Aprils has also promised to sell any I don't want in her shop, letting me keep all the profits.

I was thinking about my latest project, a portfolio of sketches I was drawing for Master Splinter, when I heard the door to Sensei's room open and Raphael step out. He quietly shut the door before I heard him walk towards the lounge I was on.

Contemplating whether to fake sleeping or not, I decided against it. Donny would surely rat me out. Anyhow, Raphael was soon standing over me.

"Master Splinter wishes to speak to you"

Snorting at how formal he sounded, I received a smack over the legs from Donny, clearly telling me to "be nice". Embarrassed, I ducked my head and quickly walked over to his door, almost forgetting to knock. After doing so, I let myself inside. Into the room which would decide my fate. 


	20. Chapter 20

Summary: It all started out like any other day … until Leo collapses and suffers a seizure and a stroke. In the passing of a few minutes, their lives will be changed forever. They have faced many challenges in their lives but will this prove to be too much?

Disclaimer: I Own Nothing

I am sorry for the long delay, I did not realise how busy it could become. I hope you enjoy! Please read and review ;)

* * *

_I was thinking about my latest project, a portfolio of sketches I was drawing for Master Splinter, when I heard the door to Sensei's room open and Raphael step out. He quietly shut the door before I heard him walk towards the lounge I was on._

_Contemplating whether to fake sleeping or not, I decided against it. Donny would surely rat me out. Anyhow, Raphael was soon standing over me._

"_Master Splinter wishes to speak to you"_

_Snorting at how formal he sounded, I received a smack over the legs from Donny, clearly telling me to "be nice". Embarrassed, I ducked my head and quickly walked over to his door, almost forgetting to knock. After doing so, I let myself inside._

* * *

Leonardo's P.O.V

I have entered Master Splinter's room on many occasions. From reporting on training runs to seeking guidance, I have always felt safe in his room. At the moment, all I feel is fear and a strong desire to throw up.

"Kneel my son"

Walking forwards, I knelt before bowing low. I jumped as Sensei strikes a match and light a candle next to him. It casts an eerily glow on his face, half in shadow, half in the flickering light. I cannot help but think of what a good sketch that would make ...

He clears his throat.

"I have been in deep conversation with Raphael for much of the day" He says, looking straight at me. I cannot help but hold my breath …

He looks at me sadly.

"And I'm afraid, my decision still stands. I still feel it is too dangerous to yourself and your brothers for you to rejoin them. I am sorry my son but your place is no longer at their side."

I slowly let out my breath. I knew his answer would not change but I could not help but hope.

I hear movement as Sensei shuffles closer and slowly tilts my head up so I am again looking at him.

"Do you understand why I have decided this?" he asks quietly. Trying to swallow the lump which is forming in my throat, I slowly nod. Barely trusting my voice, I tried to answer.

"I … I'm a danger to my brothers " I murmured, my voice cracking though I try my hardest for it to not, "I can no longer use my katana's, I blank out in the middle of spars and my tiredness is a threat to their safety"

I look away as tears begin to spill over from my eyes, "I've spent seventeen years protecting them, I could not live if I was the reason one of them were injured … or died …"

Master Splinter nodded.

"I also made a promise Leonardo" he whispered "When you woke up from killing the Shredder, I promised I would never lose you again" He reached across and cupped my face, "And I intend to keep it".

I could not help but lean into his hand, this source of warmth. Opening my eyes, I gave him a small nod. I understood. He slowly withdrew his hand.

"Raphael will make a good leader" I said after a moment's silence.

Splinter watcheds me for a few moments before speaking, "Do you resent your brother Leonardo?"

I take a moment to answer.

"I don't not resent him Master …" I muse "I just wish I was able to fight beside him ... and all of them".

He smiled.

"You are accepting this better than I expected you would"

Remembering what happened last time, and seeing some of the scrolls I tore up barely hanging on the walls, I looked away, ashamed of myself.

"I am sorry for how I acted last time … I just sometimes cannot control myself … I also knew, in the end, it would come to this … I was only hoping things could be different"

Sensei smiled.

"What about leaving the lair?" I asked. "I can understand fighting beside my brothers is not possible but … I need my own space sometimes"

Master Splinter nodded.

"Raphael and I have discussed this extensively as well. I am also sorry Leonardo but I also believe you should not leave the lair alone. Your are just too vulnerable."

I slowly nodded, again not trusting my voice.

"That does not mean you cannot go accompanied by one of your brothers. I do not believe you should venture too far or be gone too long but as long as you are with one of your brothers, I believe you will be fine."

"At least that is something" I thought "At least I will be able to leave the lair".

Master Splinter and I settled into silence, both hard at thought. Sometime later, he stirred.

"For much of my life Leonardo" he murmured "I have thought about extracting revenge on the Shredder. I trained my sons to not only be able to defend themselves and their family but also, in the hope that they would one day defeat the Shredder and his menace."

He paused.

"Now he is gone, I do not know what will become of our family".

I jerked in surprise. I do not quite understand what Sensei was saying.

"But Sensei" I stuttered "Now we are free … the Shredder is gone, your Master is avenged and …"

"Free Leonardo, are we truly free?" he asked "Yes we destroyed the Shredder but to what end? We almost lost you and now this Karai has come from Japan and is fighting with Hun for dominance … we are just as trapped as before".

I am speechless. I don't know what to say. I blurt out the first thing that comes to me.

"But we still have each other Sensei".

Lame.

Master Splinter smiles sadly and moves to grab my hand. Giving it a little squeeze he says, "Yes we do Leonardo, yes we do"

Letting go, we both sat again in silence, deep in thought. I kept turning Master Splinter's words over in my head. He raised a valid point.

"What should we do Master?"

He looked straight at me.

"I believe our time fighting for New York is over. We have avenged my Master and rid the world of the Shredder, it is time we step back into the shadows. From now on, I believe your brothers should only fight for the survival of our family and friends".

Again I am speechless. Fighting only for ourselves? We had always fought for a higher cause, to defeat the Shredder … yet now this cause was gone.

"But Sensei" I stutter "What about those who cannot protect themselves?"

"My dear Leonardo" Splinter said "while it pains me to say this, do you truly believe New York city and the surf dwellers would not survive should we vanish?"

The answer hung in the air and while I did not want to say it, I knew the answer.

"No Sensei" I said quietly. "They would survive, hardly knowing we had existed … but that doesn't mean …"

"That doesn't mean" Splinter cut in " should your brothers ever find someone in need that they should not help them … all I believe is that your brothers should not go _looking_ for people in need".

"Why are you saying this Sensei?" I asked, completely unable to accept what I am hearing.

"Leonardo" he sighed "everything has changed. Raphael will make a greater leader but he is not you. I have complete faith in your brother, complete faith, but I cannot trust our family to survive should a war break out between us, the Foot, the Purple Dragons or whoever comes after. And there will always be someone else. It is no longer worth risking our family"

Splinter paused again.

"If we choose to fight, we run the risk of losing and if we do win, we gain nothing anyway".

"But what about Karai, surely she will not let her father go unavenged?"

Splinter reached into his robe and pulled out a folded piece of paper.

"Raphael found this last time he and his brothers left the lair. It is a letter from Karai calling for a truce. She wants a formal agreement between our clans that will end all aggression. She states she is aware of the history between our families but as we have restored our honour, she desires peace."

Splinter placed the letter on the table so I could see the seal of the Foot clan. This was for real.

"Do you think she really wants peace?"

"No … but yes"

Unsure of what he meant, I gave Master a puzzled look.

"No, at the heart, she does not want peace. I imagine she would like nothing better than to declare war upon us"

"Then why doesn't she?"

"Because Leonardo, she cannot fight us, the Purple Dragons and every other gang in New York all at the same time. It would tear apart her hold on the Foot clan, stretch them to breaking point. However, she knows that we are honourable and in requesting peace, it is a pact we will keep. Once we are out of the way, she can turn her attention to other matters".

"But what will happen if she takes hold of New York and we are not such a big problem anymore?"

Master Splinter shook his head.

"She is honourable Leonardo, I know this for sure. She would not have requested a peace that she does not wish to maintain."

"So we just pass off the city without a fight!"

"No Leonardo" he replies "We let the surface dwellers deal with it, this is no longer our problem"

I let out a sigh. I can feel a headache coming on, something I know Donny will not like to hear. Once I finish here, I will have to go find him and get some medication.

"Leonardo" Raising my head, I look once more at Master Splinter "I am telling you this because you are still an important member of this family. While you may not lead, your opinion is still widely sort and I want you to still be a part of important decision. While I still need to talk to your brothers, I hope you understand and agree with my decision?"

Pondering all that he has said, I slowly nod my head.

"I understand … and accept Master. We have done our part. If Karai will guarantee a truce, I think we should begin to think of ourselves. But" I firmly stated "We should let her know that if she or her Foot clan try anything, all bets are off".

Master Splinter smiles.

"Of course Leonardo. However, I think Karai will win this war and bring stability to New York. Criminals will always be there but honour is not always among them. Karai may not be perfect but she may be a start".

Thinking of what he has said, I slowly nod.

"Have you told Raphael?"

Master Splinter lets out a small laugh.

"Not yet … and I am sure you will know when I do".

* * *

Master Splinter P.O.V.

I do not quite know why I consulted Leonardo first, regarding the truce between our family and the Foot Clan. First I am telling him he can no longer lead his brothers or venture out of the lair alone; than I am asking him whether he thinks we should sign a truce with the Foot Clan, ultimately destroying our way of life. I could understand if he was confused.

I cannot explain it but I trust Karai. Maybe not just Karai but I trust her to be honourable. If she will agree to leave my family along, we will agree to not meddle in the affairs of the Foot Clan. And like all truce's, this one can be dissolved as soon as one side forfeits their agreement.

I meant what I said to Leonardo. Our family could not remain on the path we had been travelling for the last seventeen years. We had killed the Shredder, avenged my beloved Master but now, it had to stop. It is not a secret that Leonardo fell sick due to stress and I cannot help but feel responsible. Without the stress of his responsibility to his brothers and the need to avenge my Master, Leonardo may not be as he is. While we cannot be sure, I often wonder.

Furthermore, while Raphael is a fine leader, he does not have the same training and personality as Leonardo. He does a good job but in a war between clans, the job cannot be good, it needs to be perfect. Perfect, or people die.

Our team is also not as strong as it was before. For seventeen years, my sons had trained as a four person team, now, they had to adapt to three. While not impossible, the possibility that the new team would be as effective is minimal. Our way of life but not just changed, it had ended. We now had to find a new path.

I had held the meeting with all my sons, Leonardo included, though he already knew what was to be discussed. It had not gone well. As expected, my sons were surprised and upset. I was destroying their identity; of course they would be upset. The debate raged for hours, long after Leonardo became bored and fell asleep. We paused long enough for Donatello to get a blanket to cover him and then, the debate resumed.

The main bone of contention was Karai's honour. Would she uphold her truce or not? Would she win the war and then come for us? Answers we would only get with time. In the end, amazingly, they all somewhat, detesting agreed. I let them think about it over night but when we met again the next morning, their decision still held.

We would sign a truce with Karai. We would no longer fight against the Foot Clan. We would fade into the shadows. We would live

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If you have a chance, please read and review. Thank you! ;)


	21. Chapter 21

Summary: It all started out like any other day … until Leo collapses and suffers a seizure and a stroke. In the passing of a few minutes, their lives will be changed forever. They have faced many challenges in their lives but will this prove to be too much?

Disclaimer: I Own Nothing

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_I had held the meeting with all my sons, Leonardo included, though he already knew what was to be discussed. It had not gone well. As expected, my sons were surprised and upset. I was destroying their identity; of course they would be upset. The debate raged for hours, long after Leonardo became bored and fell asleep. We paused long enough for Donatello to get a blanket to cover him and then, the debate resumed._

_The main bone of contention was Karai's honour. Would she uphold her truce or not? Would she win the war and then come for us? Answers we would only get with time. In the end, amazingly, they all somewhat, detesting agreed. I let them think about it over night but when we met again the next morning, their decision still held._

_We would sign a truce with Karai. We would no longer fight against the Foot Clan. We would fade into the shadows. We would live._

* * *

Michelangelo's P.O.V.

Tonight was the night. Tonight it all ended. Tonight we made a truce with Karai.

This night has approached with such force; I cannot even believe it was here. It only seems days ago we had discussed the truce; then we had to contact Karai, wait for her reply and now, it had to be formally recognized.

I felt _so_ underdressed.

Something so important and we were only going to wear what we wore everyday! I raised the question of hiring suits, Raph raised his hand to hit me, I dropped the subject. I didn't ask again.

In an effort to put something into this event, I washed my pads, belt, bandanna and cleaned my weapons. It didn't make much of a difference, now everything was just clean … and scratchy.

Deciding I can't waste any more time in my room, I left, heading towards Donny's.

"You ready?"

"Yeah" comes a voice from somewhere within the workspace Donny likes to call his room. Out from the gloom he comes, fiddling with his belt.

"What's the matter" I asked as we descend to the ground floor.

"Washed my gear" Donny grunts, struggling with his belt "Must … have shrunk in the wash"

I let out a laugh. So I wasn't the only one.

The lair is unusually quiet. I can see candle light flicker from Splinters room but as I head over, I see Leo and Raph emerge, closely followed by Master Splinter. Splinter is holding a small wooden box and as they all walk over towards the lifts, I see Raphael is also carrying something wrapped in an ornament sheet. As they kneel, Master Splinter at the front and them facing him, he puts it on the ground besides him.

Not quite sure what is happening but going with the flow, Donny and I also kneel, one on either side of our brothers. Settling next to Raph, I see the sheet covers Leo's swords.

What is happening?

Slowly, Sensei bows towards us and we copy his actions. Once finished, Raphael picks up and unravels the swords from within the sheet before handing them to Leonardo with a short bow. Bowing in return, he stares at them for a few seconds before presenting them to Master Splinter, bowing again as Sensei bows as he receives them.

All this bowing is making my back ache and I'm not even doing it!

Sensei than stands, taking the swords with him and walks over to the display we had made to house Leonardo's swords. The display is now empty.

He again bows, what is with all this bowing, and places the swords in a cross formation. Not realizing he has moved, I nearly jump as Leonardo stands besides Master Splinter. They turn and face each other, shock horror they bow again! But then Leonardo begins to undo his belt and pads, slowly discarding his gear.

Lets be honest, I'm not saying we don't run around half naked anyway but still, slightly awkward!

Having discarded most of his gear, Leo finally unties his bandanna and slowly hands it to Sensei. Raphael appears at his side and hands him a simple brown tunic, something a peasant would wear in a far off land, which he slowly pulls on. Fastening it at the waist with a belt, he turns to face us.

Leonardo is no longer a ninja.

I expect to see tears yet there are none. Leonardo has accepted his fate. I wanted to get up and give him a hug but I knew that wouldn't be appropriate, I instead settled for giving him a quick pat on the shoulder as he sat down. He turned, gave me a brief smile and I was amazed to be able to see his eyes, a sight we had all been denied since we had received our masks as children.

So that was it. Not only were we giving up our birth right to fight the Foot, Leonardo was giving up even more. He was no longer a ninja.

Kneeling again in front of us, Master Splinter placed a quarter staff in front of Leo. There was another flurry of bowing and then Sensei sat in front of us again.

It felt like the whole process had gone on for hours yet I knew it had only been minutes. My older brother, the protector, striped of his birthright and now dressed in peasants clothing, given a simple weapon. It seemed so unreal. I wanted to shout "stop!" to put an end to this madness. Yet, I am now mature enough to know that this was the only possible outcome.

This was how it had to be.

Master Splinter than slide the little wooden box in front and slowly lifted the lid. Intrigued, I learnt forward to see ….

My mask.

Not the simple white one that I wore, my orange one. My breath caught in my throat, I watched as a smiling Sensei pulled it from its box and slowly handed it to Raph. Bowing, he slowly turned and presented it to me.

Gingerly reaching forward, I couldn't help a small squeal of happiness when I touched the soft fabric. It had been so long since I had held it. I could feel responsibility creeping up my arms. With this mask, I was not just any ninja, I was A NINJA.

I understood what this mask meant, yet it felt wrong. Knowing what I must do, I got up and knelt in front of Leonardo, presenting my mask to him and bowed low to the ground. I heard a sound of approval from Master Splinter but no other as Leonardo slowly unfastened my white bandana and tied my old bandana in place, it felt so right!

Before rising, I gave Leo another bow to which he returned and then quickly slide back into my original place.

Looking at all of us with a smile, Master Splinter gave one last bow to which we all did likewise … and I knew it was over.

"I am so proud of you all my sons" Sensei said, slowly rising "You are all mature beyond your years".

"Some of us anyway" Raphael laughed, punching me lightly on the arm.

"Don't even try it!" I laughed, jumping into a fighting stance "I can now, again, officially, KICK YOUR BUTT!"

Laughing, Raphael gave me a slight push before turning towards Leonardo, who was staring at his swords on display. Giving him a pat on the shoulder, Leo slowly turned away, a smile on his lips.

"At least one of us has finally learnt to dress correctly" he murmured.

Not know what to do, I gave him a quick hug and whispered in his ear "You will always be our elder brother".

"Thanks Mikey" he whispered as we pulled away.

"Now my sons, you must get going" Master Splinter said, reaching into his robes and pulling out a sheet of paper. "Take our reply to Karai but do not drop your guard. She may be honourable but the does not mean the rest are."

Nodding, Raphael took the piece of paper and tucked it into a small pouch he had on his belt.

Walking over to the elevator, Donny, Raph and I got in and turned to face Master Splinter and Leonardo.

"Be safe" Leo murmured, not quite meeting our eyes.

"We will" Raph said, confidence filling his voice. "We won't be long".

As the door shut, I couldn't help but wave. My last sight is of Leonardo laughing and waving back beside a proud looking Splinter.

As one door shuts, another door opens.

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**Raphael's P.O.V. (1 month later)**

The sounds of staffs cracking against each other rang throughout the lair, followed by a series of whirling sounds.

"Somebody is showing off" I thought to myself, lifting my head from the newspaper I was reading.

Looking towards the practice area, I spied Leo and Donny dancing around each other. It had not taken long for Leo to adopt the quarter staff, soon even giving the more experienced Donny a run for his money. It seemed this was another occasion. While Leo could not put as much weight into his swings and his speed was off, his accuracy and skill easily made up for whatever advantage Donny had.

"Anything interesting?" Mikey inquired, plunking down in the seat next to me.

"Nope" I replied, pushing the paper away to join the others. "Taxes are going up; the driving laws are changing and some famous person lost weight".

I look in time to see Leo send Donny sprawling to the floor, probably not to get up for quite awhile.

"Nothing at all"

Mikey nodded slowly.

"So it's true, Karai must have won"

I begin to nod, thinking back. A few nights ago, we had ventured topside to find the streets quiet and alleyways deserted. Word on the street was Karai had landed the killing blow, cutting off the head of the snake to say.

Apparently, they are finding pieces of Hun all over the city. As her main contender was destroyed, Karai reabsorbed the Purple Dragons into the Foot Clan but in a surprise move, did not go after the other rival gangs.

As Master Splinter summarised, "The devil you know is better than the devil you don't".

"It's not our problem anymore Mikey" I said, pushing away from the table, "The truce still stands".

The same night we had ventured outside, just before reaching home, we had come across a group of Foot Ninja who decided to run along the same rooftop as us. Without thinking, we all dropped into defensive positions, waiting for the usual attack. Yet, none came. The leader of the group watched us for a few moments, bowed and left in the opposite direction, his voice carrying across the distance.

"_The truce still stands" _

Now all the news had dried up in the papers, the "Great Gang War of New York" was no longer front paper news and we were left to pick up the pieces as the wave of life bubbled along without us.

Walking towards the practice area, thinking of doing some katas, I felt a hand descend on my shoulder. Turning, I found the hand belonged to Leonardo. He gave me a smile.

"Let's watch a movie?"

I looked back towards the practice area.

"Don't worry, it will still be there once the movie is finished" Leo said, steering me towards the TV's. "Besides, you deserve a break".

"Yeah" I said, settling on the couch next to Leo, Mikey bringing popcorn from the kitchen, Donny rifled through our DVD collection and even Master Splinter came out to watch.

"We all deserve a break".

* * *

**Donny's Logbook (Last Entry)**

And so it came to pass. Our family was whole again. Yes we still fight. Yes we still get on each other's nerves. Yes, we are still a family. We are together. Our pact with the Foot Clan stands. We are not equals, we are not friends.

But we were not enemies.

We still train. We still fight. We still protect those who can't protect themselves. But, we are mindful of what we can lose.

We want to survive.

We will survive.

Life is not the same, life has changed. But that does not mean we cannot move with these changes.

Master Splinter has passed on the responsibility he always felt for us, to us. The safety and responsibility of our family is now our problem, not his.

Myself, I have learnt to be able to accept what I cannot fix, what I cannot change. I can work miracles, but I am not a miracle worker.

Michelangelo has matured far beyond his years, far beyond what we thought he was capable of. We are so proud of him.

Raphael has evolved in the best leader we could hope for. He has learnt compassion, patience and humility. No, he is not Leonardo but then, there will only ever be one Leonardo.

Leonardo has gained yet lost so much. While he still trains, still adheres to Bushido, he is no longer a warrior. He is no longer a ninja. He has become an artist, an academic, a valued advisor ... and video game fanatic. He has become the brother we never thought he would be because of the role he had to play. Yet, he has come back to us. For that we are so grateful.

Maybe change does happen for a reason ...

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In the passing of a few minutes, their lives will be changed forever. They have faced many challenges in their lives but will this prove to be too much? Or will they rise above it all and come to respect that some people cannot help being ...

**CHANGED.**

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THE END.

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Wow. This has been such a long time in the making. I just want to thank every one who has ever read and reviewed this story, you make writing these stories half the fun ;).

Please let me know what you think about the ending and the story as a whole.

Thank you ;) And until we meet again, see ya!


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